WEBVTT 00:01.070 --> 00:10.170 16th of February 2019, the time, 14.51pm. 00:13.890 --> 00:23.490 What I am about to share with you is a personal journey, also a spiritual journey that I undertook, 00:25.270 --> 00:38.290 starting in late 2017, all the way until mid-2018, a journey which took me from Europe all the way to Asia. 00:39.250 --> 00:46.530 Now I have to be honest with you right now, the journey itself was a big event in my life 00:46.530 --> 00:54.930 and the magnitude of the journey, how it affected me emotionally, how it changed me psychologically 00:55.530 --> 00:57.430 and how it developed me spiritually. 00:58.550 --> 01:03.110 It was so much to digest that even after almost one year later, 01:06.110 --> 01:13.150 it's still very hard for me to find the words to encapsulate what I went through. 01:14.450 --> 01:22.910 And to be honest, this is one of the journeys in my life that I did not want to speak about to others 01:22.910 --> 01:24.730 because it was purely for me. 01:26.250 --> 01:34.610 But upon requests from my close friends all around the world who had supported me 01:35.150 --> 01:41.790 and knew I was determined to make this journey, 01:43.690 --> 01:49.230 they asked me to record just for posterity. 01:51.910 --> 01:52.910 And so here it is. 01:55.870 --> 02:01.470 And I had refrained from recording my thoughts on this nomadic journey, 02:02.210 --> 02:05.590 the time that it finished because I know I would be too passionate 02:06.710 --> 02:12.350 and not objective enough to speak on the things I wish to speak on today. 02:13.150 --> 02:18.230 And so you could say it took me one year to really digest this 02:18.230 --> 02:25.810 and it took me one year to be able to find the correct mindset and attitude to speak on this subject. 02:27.990 --> 02:35.050 Before I begin, I want to say that I'm only doing this in the hopes that it may help someone out there 02:35.050 --> 02:41.150 who may be feeling or have felt how I had felt before and during my journey. 02:44.390 --> 02:46.230 So without further ado, who it is. 02:49.610 --> 02:55.670 Have you ever felt that the world wanted nothing to do with you? 02:56.990 --> 02:59.050 Have you ever felt this way before, my friend? 03:00.490 --> 03:04.490 That no matter what you did, no matter how hard you tried, 03:05.910 --> 03:09.890 it almost seemed as the world did not want your trace. 03:11.490 --> 03:15.990 This was me and my mindset in early 2017. 03:17.830 --> 03:24.110 In that time of my life, things were not going, things were going downhill. 03:27.550 --> 03:32.290 Every creative endeavor that I pursued failed. 03:33.370 --> 03:39.030 Every artistic endeavor I pursued not only cost me money, but failed miserably. 03:41.630 --> 03:47.110 I ran myself to the ground because old habits die hard. 03:48.750 --> 03:50.650 I could not pick myself back up. 03:52.510 --> 03:58.650 And I found myself vegetating in the environment where I was at 03:58.650 --> 04:04.470 and at that time I was in England, 27-year-old me. 04:07.730 --> 04:10.150 Things in my life were just falling apart. 04:11.250 --> 04:13.470 Financially, I was not stable. 04:15.990 --> 04:20.490 Psychologically, I want to think that I was sane. 04:21.830 --> 04:26.550 Emotionally, I'm a pretty cool guy, so nothing phases me. 04:27.810 --> 04:33.750 But as I look around me, all I saw was things tumbling in my life 04:34.470 --> 04:38.250 and I told myself I could not continue like this. 04:39.650 --> 04:46.730 Now, even though today I'm speaking about the journey that took me from Europe to Asia, 04:48.410 --> 04:55.110 the actual prelude to this journey happened in early 2017. 04:58.230 --> 05:02.950 I have been travelling all my life ever since I was young, very young. 05:04.850 --> 05:09.590 And the road is the only constant thing for me. 05:10.270 --> 05:12.750 It's very hard for me to tell you this and explain. 05:14.510 --> 05:22.110 But I really believe that where you are born and brought up, this will affect you so very much in life. 05:22.490 --> 05:31.890 And as for me, in my very young and young days, I was brought up on the road, constantly travelling and moving. 05:33.610 --> 05:39.610 So travelling has always been, at once, bitter and sweet for me, my medicine. 05:41.670 --> 05:46.810 Bitter because you learn some very harsh lessons whilst on the road. 05:47.850 --> 05:56.970 Sweet because the rewards that you gain, though maybe intangible, are very unique and priceless. 05:59.410 --> 06:07.810 At that time, when the world was crumbling around me, my only cure was to hit the road again. 06:09.930 --> 06:11.130 And so that's what I did. 06:12.790 --> 06:21.370 Early 2017, I decided to try my hand hitchhiking because I had one dream in my mind. 06:22.370 --> 06:24.250 I just wanted to see Hong Kong again. 06:26.150 --> 06:30.750 I had been away from Hong Kong at that time for almost five years. 06:32.490 --> 06:36.190 Living around Europe, travelling, performing, doing things. 06:37.350 --> 06:41.450 I felt that I had lost my route as a Chinese man, as a Hong Kong man. 06:45.010 --> 06:49.270 And I thought to myself, hey, you know, if things are going so bad right now, 06:49.270 --> 06:54.790 what problem is it for me to hit the road and try to make myself better 06:54.790 --> 06:57.070 and perhaps make my life better? 06:57.990 --> 07:02.390 So early 2017, I sold most of my possessions. 07:03.790 --> 07:06.570 I gave away my magic library. 07:07.490 --> 07:11.330 Most of my books I downsized to the bare essentials. 07:13.530 --> 07:20.470 I gathered my gear, hoping that with 20 years of travelling experience under my belt 07:20.470 --> 07:25.790 I was ready for my first ever hitchhiking journey across at least Europe. 07:25.910 --> 07:32.730 My plan was to cross Europe and to work and to gain experiences. 07:33.950 --> 07:37.910 For that I needed gear and so that's what I gathered. 07:37.910 --> 07:42.050 I packed my bags and I hit the road. 07:44.630 --> 07:50.830 My first destination was Belgium because previously I had already been to Belgium 07:50.830 --> 07:58.630 and I actually worked on a farm in Belgium in 2016 in a region called Zothigem. 08:00.090 --> 08:05.890 But anyway, my first journey took me to Belgium 08:05.890 --> 08:12.730 which I thought was a pretty safe place and a pretty logical place for me to start 08:12.730 --> 08:16.290 and hitchhike east across Europe. 08:19.010 --> 08:22.770 One thing I knew for a start was that I had too much gear 08:22.770 --> 08:25.190 and the weight was weighing me down. 08:26.490 --> 08:29.350 But excited for the journey ahead of me. 08:30.850 --> 08:35.090 I landed in Brussels and it took me two days. 08:35.550 --> 08:37.610 Two days trying to get out of Brussels 08:38.730 --> 08:44.530 and in those two days it was very frustrating because I had never hitchhiked before in my life. 08:48.470 --> 08:54.990 Weary, tired, hungry, perhaps a little angry as well at myself 08:54.990 --> 08:59.190 and life I went back to the Brussels north station 08:59.190 --> 09:06.370 which if you have ever been is a place where most public transports like buses and trains 09:06.370 --> 09:10.810 and coaches go to and from Brussels internationally and locally. 09:11.570 --> 09:18.330 But one thing I did not know that Brussels was very afflicted at that time by poverty with poverty 09:19.530 --> 09:30.130 and there was a lot of refugees from places like Morocco, Syria, Africa, all these other places 09:30.770 --> 09:33.630 and they gathered at the north station 09:35.130 --> 09:39.190 and if I were to at a glance tell you how many refugees there were 09:39.190 --> 09:42.590 there must have been at least a hundred who had no homes. 09:44.670 --> 09:49.850 And here I was mingling and blending in with these 09:49.850 --> 09:55.430 sticking out like a sore thumb with my gear, my backpack, my rucksack 09:55.430 --> 10:02.890 and my life inside those bags, my performing gear, my travelling gear, everything that meant 10:03.830 --> 10:06.630 anything to me that I could not sell or give away. 10:10.410 --> 10:16.530 So in the evening after those two days still in Brussels, tired, weary 10:17.210 --> 10:23.250 I decided to go to this north station and catch a breath, maybe sleep a little. 10:25.050 --> 10:28.130 The refugees were kind enough to shelter me in 10:28.130 --> 10:34.210 and they showed me the place where I could queue up and line up for food 10:34.210 --> 10:38.370 and it seemed to me that the local police force and the military 10:39.250 --> 10:45.490 had food stores and stands set up for the peoples, soup kitchens, things of that nature 10:45.490 --> 10:50.470 and putting my pride away I joined the queue 10:51.590 --> 10:57.070 and I received my food, went back to the north station which has two floors 10:57.070 --> 11:00.770 and everyone sat on the second floor 11:01.750 --> 11:08.210 which is train station part more on the floor and we began eating 11:09.070 --> 11:13.910 and it was very comfortable for me because not only was it very new 11:14.710 --> 11:22.370 but it just seemed right to me that this is what my life will be 11:23.150 --> 11:27.050 until I reach my destination on the other side of the world. 11:30.290 --> 11:35.230 After the food my exhaustion hit me and so I laid my things on the floor 11:36.510 --> 11:41.070 and I thought I'd just catch some shit-eye maybe just rest my eyes for a minute or two. 11:43.490 --> 11:47.030 Soon I found my eyes closed and I drifted off 11:47.850 --> 11:54.350 but then suddenly my eyes opened and it seemed to me that I had slept for a minute 11:54.350 --> 11:58.750 but I was told but I had slept for 5-10 minutes 11:59.350 --> 12:03.630 but when it looks around me things look the same other than one thing 12:04.730 --> 12:06.370 all my possessions were gone 12:08.150 --> 12:13.590 other than my boots and a Buddhist book that I had 12:15.850 --> 12:16.970 everything was gone 12:18.370 --> 12:21.010 my gear and my life 12:22.910 --> 12:27.970 I was stunned for a moment and then I realized I must have been robbed 12:27.970 --> 12:29.810 whilst I was asleep 12:32.290 --> 12:35.610 so frantically I got up and started asking around 12:36.210 --> 12:40.670 asking around asking around and a lot of the refugees were very very helpful 12:43.110 --> 12:47.230 in locating the security guards and checking CCTV camera footage 12:47.230 --> 12:54.790 and it turns out that I was robbed by three Arabs who had their eye on me 12:54.790 --> 12:57.310 the first moment I entered the stage 12:59.050 --> 13:02.910 and at that time it was very devastating for me because 13:03.730 --> 13:07.230 my life that I had in those bags were gone 13:10.010 --> 13:15.030 and the only question in my mind that kept reoccurring was what am I going to do 13:16.630 --> 13:22.150 I don't have any money all I have is if I remember correctly at that time 13:22.790 --> 13:23.690 30 pounds 13:25.850 --> 13:29.030 at least I had my documents well hidden in my clothing 13:30.510 --> 13:32.330 so everything is not lost 13:34.630 --> 13:38.330 but I then learnt my biggest lesson of all 13:39.290 --> 13:41.570 that if you were to go on this journey 13:41.570 --> 13:44.170 you really need to be ready 13:45.770 --> 13:49.290 and even though I had gathered my gear 13:49.290 --> 13:54.350 I had set off on the journey and set foot in another land 13:55.470 --> 13:58.630 and even though I was determined to go on the journey 13:58.630 --> 14:01.930 life showed me that I was still not ready 14:05.690 --> 14:06.410 eventually 14:07.710 --> 14:11.770 I hitchhiked my first ride back to the UK 14:11.770 --> 14:15.430 on a Euro bus 14:16.630 --> 14:21.870 one of those buses that goes from London to 14:22.630 --> 14:25.410 Amsterdam, Belgium, France 14:25.930 --> 14:28.310 I managed to hitchhike a bus back to London 14:28.310 --> 14:30.190 which took around 8 hours 14:30.810 --> 14:34.770 and during those 8 hours I began to feel relieved 14:34.770 --> 14:41.070 that life took the burden that I had in my backpack and rucksack from me 14:42.210 --> 14:45.590 because then I really saw what life was trying to tell me 14:46.250 --> 14:49.470 and it was that you did not need any of those things 14:51.390 --> 14:55.510 because all those things that I had, those possessions 14:55.510 --> 14:58.610 were only gathered in vanity 14:59.190 --> 15:02.510 in the hopes that it will become my protection on the road 15:03.510 --> 15:07.030 and that whilst travelling on this road 15:07.030 --> 15:12.690 there is no resource more worthy other than personal will 15:13.790 --> 15:17.210 material possessions, gear 15:18.510 --> 15:23.330 even perhaps money is of unimportance compared to will 15:23.330 --> 15:25.150 and did I have it, I didn't 15:25.150 --> 15:27.450 and life showed me that I did not 15:30.330 --> 15:33.570 and so with my head bit down and humbled 15:35.150 --> 15:39.470 I made my way back to London then back to my hometown, Birmingham 15:42.290 --> 15:44.470 still things were tumbling around me 15:44.470 --> 15:47.890 and I could not bring myself to stay in one place anymore 15:47.890 --> 15:51.690 and so I went off on the road once more 15:51.690 --> 15:53.610 but this time with a plan 15:55.850 --> 15:58.450 oh my dream was still to go to Asia 15:58.450 --> 16:00.110 still to see Hong Kong 16:00.790 --> 16:03.810 I would still travel across Europe to get there 16:04.590 --> 16:06.390 I did not care at that time 16:07.650 --> 16:10.530 this was the beginning of mid-2017 16:15.330 --> 16:19.030 a year or two prior to that, 2015 16:19.030 --> 16:23.490 I had began volunteering in a Buddhist cafe 16:23.490 --> 16:25.310 in the English countryside 16:25.310 --> 16:30.170 where I learnt and met many travelling friends and volunteers 16:30.170 --> 16:33.550 and I learnt the art of coffee making 16:33.550 --> 16:36.430 using a platform called HelpX 16:37.030 --> 16:38.890 that I became a member of 16:40.250 --> 16:41.790 and I thought to myself 16:41.790 --> 16:45.990 well returning back to the UK to London to my hometown 16:46.590 --> 16:48.570 if I still wanted to go on this journey 16:49.670 --> 16:52.910 I needed to not go blindly and to have a plan 16:52.910 --> 16:56.330 so my first destination was back to this Buddhist cafe 16:56.330 --> 16:57.990 in the hopes that they would take me in 16:58.730 --> 17:00.650 in exchange I would work for them 17:01.450 --> 17:06.490 I would work and I would wait until the right moment 17:08.310 --> 17:10.850 and quite gladly they accepted me again 17:12.070 --> 17:15.270 and so I was there in the English countryside 17:15.270 --> 17:18.650 working and living in the complex 17:18.650 --> 17:21.990 meeting friends, developing 17:21.990 --> 17:28.730 and soothing out the failure that I had just encountered in Brussels 17:30.790 --> 17:33.430 volunteering in this Buddhist cafe 17:33.430 --> 17:35.730 I stayed there for five months 17:35.730 --> 17:37.830 rebuilding myself 17:38.770 --> 17:40.990 learning the art of coffee making 17:42.410 --> 17:43.710 and being humble 17:44.730 --> 17:46.250 watching the seasons go 17:47.890 --> 17:49.530 and throughout that time 17:50.210 --> 17:52.250 my failure in Brussels 17:53.230 --> 17:55.110 was like a shadow to me 17:55.830 --> 17:56.870 very close by 17:58.370 --> 17:59.670 but I was determined 17:59.670 --> 18:02.750 because of the people that I met there at the cafe 18:04.510 --> 18:05.730 gave me hope 18:06.930 --> 18:10.030 and encouraged me to continue on my journey 18:14.010 --> 18:15.450 oh you may ask me 18:15.450 --> 18:17.510 what type of things did I have 18:17.510 --> 18:19.650 what material possessions did I have then 18:19.650 --> 18:21.430 whilst working in that cafe 18:21.430 --> 18:22.710 well let me tell you straight 18:24.110 --> 18:26.130 I was still pretty broke at that time 18:27.070 --> 18:31.050 all I had to my name was a small backpack 18:31.870 --> 18:33.070 very small backpack 18:33.070 --> 18:35.430 and in it was my life 18:36.210 --> 18:37.610 a few sets of clothes 18:38.370 --> 18:39.870 my performing gear 18:39.870 --> 18:41.730 packs of playing cards 18:41.730 --> 18:43.390 only the bare essentials 18:45.070 --> 18:47.990 money-wise I had about 50 pounds 18:48.710 --> 18:51.550 and I was able to not spend any of that money 18:51.550 --> 18:53.030 whilst working at that cafe 18:55.190 --> 18:56.930 fast forward a few months 18:57.970 --> 19:00.590 my volunteering at that cafe 19:00.590 --> 19:02.290 would come to an end after 19:02.290 --> 19:04.290 after so long a period 19:04.290 --> 19:06.950 after meeting I would say 19:07.590 --> 19:10.390 one group of the closest friends that I had 19:10.390 --> 19:13.250 ever had the privilege of meeting in my life 19:15.390 --> 19:17.330 and so leaving the UK 19:17.330 --> 19:19.190 my first destination was Norway 19:20.530 --> 19:22.910 and my original plan was this 19:23.590 --> 19:25.130 to hitchhike from Norway 19:25.130 --> 19:27.150 all across Europe 19:27.830 --> 19:28.810 to Turkey 19:28.810 --> 19:30.350 and then from Turkey 19:31.230 --> 19:32.230 if I could 19:32.810 --> 19:33.370 hitchhike 19:34.150 --> 19:36.870 across places like Kazakhstan 19:39.270 --> 19:40.550 towards Asia 19:40.550 --> 19:42.330 that was my original plan 19:42.330 --> 19:47.270 and even though that journey was so far ahead in my mind 19:47.270 --> 19:48.670 I could see it so clearly 19:48.670 --> 19:49.690 every single night 19:49.690 --> 19:51.190 when I went to sleep 19:51.610 --> 19:53.610 that vision I've seen Hong Kong again 19:53.610 --> 19:55.030 was so strong 19:56.450 --> 19:58.650 it almost set me crazy 19:58.650 --> 20:00.890 but the fire was strong 20:04.950 --> 20:07.630 why did I go to Norway of all places during winter? 20:10.970 --> 20:12.010 let's just say 20:12.670 --> 20:14.910 when you make decisions based on emotion 20:15.910 --> 20:18.890 you can get led to some crazy places 20:21.770 --> 20:22.890 but lucky for me 20:22.890 --> 20:24.990 once I reached Norway 20:24.990 --> 20:28.010 I found myself another volunteering place 20:28.010 --> 20:29.170 that I could work 20:29.950 --> 20:32.150 and this time I was working 20:32.150 --> 20:33.850 in a place called Lilihammer 20:35.170 --> 20:37.230 two hours away from Oslo 20:37.230 --> 20:39.610 on a mountain range called Hornshø 20:39.610 --> 20:41.390 and I was working 20:42.310 --> 20:43.670 in a hotel 20:43.670 --> 20:45.870 and I worked there for a month until 20:45.870 --> 20:48.030 I really couldn't stand it anymore 20:48.030 --> 20:50.810 and then I began hitchhiking myself 20:50.810 --> 20:52.870 across Scandinavia 20:52.870 --> 20:53.910 down to Denmark 20:53.910 --> 20:55.550 where I worked again 20:55.550 --> 20:57.730 in another volunteering place 20:57.730 --> 20:59.070 this time for a school 20:59.070 --> 21:00.870 where I found myself 21:00.870 --> 21:04.050 becoming a kitchen cleaner and dishwasher 21:04.050 --> 21:05.790 and breakfast preparer 21:08.010 --> 21:09.710 now I am fast forwarding 21:09.710 --> 21:12.130 some parts of this journey to save time 21:12.710 --> 21:13.990 because like I told you 21:14.530 --> 21:17.330 a lot of the journey that I undertook 21:17.330 --> 21:18.410 is very personal 21:18.410 --> 21:19.550 and it's very hard for me to 21:21.070 --> 21:22.010 explain to you 21:22.010 --> 21:24.290 each and every detail of what I went through 21:24.290 --> 21:26.110 but I want to tell you this 21:28.070 --> 21:30.030 of the places that I had gone to 21:30.910 --> 21:32.610 and the friends that I had met 21:32.610 --> 21:34.550 and the skills that I had undertaken 21:34.550 --> 21:35.250 and learnt 21:36.650 --> 21:38.350 it was priceless to me 21:38.930 --> 21:40.310 because it gave me confidence 21:40.310 --> 21:42.610 day by day that I could survive on the road 21:44.570 --> 21:45.890 I could actually do it 21:46.610 --> 21:48.330 if I put my mind to it 21:51.030 --> 21:52.330 but in my heart 21:52.330 --> 21:53.590 I was still restless 21:53.590 --> 21:55.150 because of the journey 21:55.830 --> 21:57.390 that I said I will take 21:57.390 --> 21:58.610 and go on 22:00.170 --> 22:01.370 and you see for me 22:01.690 --> 22:02.690 when I make a decision 22:02.690 --> 22:04.010 you better kill me 22:04.750 --> 22:05.470 if not 22:06.050 --> 22:08.190 I will see this decision to the end 22:10.370 --> 22:11.470 at that time 22:11.470 --> 22:12.790 working in Scandinavia 22:12.790 --> 22:15.190 I was very sick and tired of the cold 22:15.190 --> 22:17.090 now if you have never experienced 22:17.090 --> 22:19.010 winter in Scandinavia 22:19.010 --> 22:19.530 my god 22:21.230 --> 22:22.470 now in the UK 22:22.470 --> 22:24.250 when I see snow and winter 22:24.790 --> 22:26.550 this is nothing, no factor at all 22:26.550 --> 22:28.810 because in my mind I had seen 22:28.810 --> 22:30.070 and went through 22:30.630 --> 22:32.910 the deepest of winters in Scandinavia 22:35.370 --> 22:36.910 so working in Denmark 22:37.550 --> 22:38.770 my biggest problem 22:38.770 --> 22:40.850 was that I needed to get out of Scandinavia 22:42.170 --> 22:43.290 lucky for me 22:43.290 --> 22:44.770 I had found a ride 22:44.770 --> 22:46.990 that could take me from Denmark 22:46.990 --> 22:49.010 all the way to Berlin 22:50.490 --> 22:51.910 this took me 22:52.890 --> 22:54.350 at least 10 hours 22:54.350 --> 22:56.770 or a 12 hour car ride 22:56.770 --> 22:58.230 crossing the ferry 22:58.230 --> 23:00.290 and soon I found myself 23:00.850 --> 23:02.390 in Berlin 23:02.390 --> 23:03.690 Germany 23:04.630 --> 23:06.110 and it was there 23:06.610 --> 23:09.090 that I had invigorated confidence 23:09.090 --> 23:11.790 that I could actually make my hitchhiking journey east 23:13.070 --> 23:14.110 and so 23:15.090 --> 23:16.490 for days and weeks 23:17.090 --> 23:17.810 and months 23:17.810 --> 23:19.370 I was travelling 23:19.370 --> 23:20.630 east 23:21.810 --> 23:24.930 without any money in my pocket other than my 50 pounds 23:25.950 --> 23:28.450 without any possessions other than 23:28.450 --> 23:29.830 the clothes on my back 23:30.610 --> 23:32.890 and the 15 kg backpack 23:34.110 --> 23:35.970 I was braving the elements 23:37.850 --> 23:39.670 and let me tell you one thing is strange 23:39.670 --> 23:40.250 because 23:41.670 --> 23:44.050 you can learn a lot about a city 23:44.050 --> 23:46.770 once you've been there for a full 24 hours 23:46.770 --> 23:48.190 now a lot of people when they travel 23:48.850 --> 23:50.010 they go to a city 23:50.010 --> 23:50.830 and they land 23:50.830 --> 23:54.970 and they actually only spend half a day at the city 23:55.490 --> 23:57.230 and the next half of the day they sleep 23:57.230 --> 24:00.070 but once you spend 24 full hours 24:00.070 --> 24:01.790 in one place in one city 24:01.790 --> 24:03.090 you learn so much 24:05.070 --> 24:07.770 and whilst I was beginning to hitchhike east 24:09.190 --> 24:10.810 it occurred to me that 24:13.110 --> 24:14.630 things are so strange 24:16.050 --> 24:18.230 it was very hard for me to pinpoint 24:18.230 --> 24:20.350 and put to 24:20.890 --> 24:22.550 put to words what it was but 24:22.990 --> 24:24.490 I felt immensely lonely 24:28.810 --> 24:31.270 and winter would do that especially to you 24:31.270 --> 24:32.850 as well as 24:34.490 --> 24:36.030 travelling on your own 24:37.170 --> 24:38.730 so I made myself 24:39.210 --> 24:41.070 become capable of 24:41.070 --> 24:42.610 dealing with 24:43.130 --> 24:45.170 this lonesomeness while on the road 24:45.170 --> 24:47.590 and it wasn't until I reached 24:47.590 --> 24:49.170 Czech Republic by accident 24:50.230 --> 24:51.490 it was then 24:51.490 --> 24:53.450 where it really hit me that 24:53.450 --> 24:55.590 what people call normal 24:55.590 --> 24:57.930 is very not normal 25:00.230 --> 25:01.950 and the way I travel 25:01.950 --> 25:03.490 the places I go 25:04.710 --> 25:06.230 really shows me 25:06.230 --> 25:08.550 and it sends me into a place 25:08.550 --> 25:10.290 where I can observe and learn 25:10.290 --> 25:12.110 the human nature 25:12.110 --> 25:14.510 and also the rhythm 25:14.510 --> 25:16.230 and cadence 25:16.230 --> 25:17.610 of this modern world 25:20.950 --> 25:22.570 still in the winter 25:23.670 --> 25:26.710 finding myself accidentally landing in Prague 25:26.710 --> 25:28.110 cold again 25:28.710 --> 25:29.090 tired 25:29.770 --> 25:30.330 exhausted 25:31.950 --> 25:33.770 having no look at all hitchhiking 25:33.770 --> 25:34.690 out of Prague 25:34.690 --> 25:36.590 I had to recuperate 25:37.210 --> 25:39.390 so for the first time in 8 months 25:39.390 --> 25:40.350 I spent money 25:40.930 --> 25:42.570 I booked a hostel room 25:43.150 --> 25:44.890 and I slept for one day 25:44.890 --> 25:46.230 one full day 25:47.550 --> 25:48.610 and as I 25:49.250 --> 25:51.210 laid my head down on that pillow 25:52.010 --> 25:53.570 images started to flash 25:53.570 --> 25:54.810 into my mind and 25:54.810 --> 25:57.290 I saw Hong Kong again 25:57.290 --> 25:58.250 and 25:59.070 --> 26:00.830 the fire was still strong 26:00.830 --> 26:01.090 but 26:02.090 --> 26:04.690 I didn't know if I could reach Hong Kong 26:04.690 --> 26:05.330 you know 26:07.450 --> 26:09.070 yes, I made myself 26:09.970 --> 26:11.110 fly to Norway 26:11.110 --> 26:12.990 and I made my way down 26:12.990 --> 26:14.190 hitchhiking 26:14.190 --> 26:15.750 across Scandinavia towards 26:15.750 --> 26:16.790 Berlin 26:17.910 --> 26:19.590 I don't know why I keep saying Belgium 26:19.590 --> 26:22.610 maybe that emotional scar so strong 26:22.610 --> 26:23.370 is still with me 26:25.610 --> 26:26.810 even though I hitchhiked 26:26.810 --> 26:27.690 all this way 26:29.770 --> 26:30.890 even though I felt 26:30.890 --> 26:32.010 I had confidence 26:32.510 --> 26:34.650 did I really believe that I had 26:34.650 --> 26:35.170 confidence 26:37.250 --> 26:38.670 in that hostel room 26:39.510 --> 26:40.510 I told myself 26:41.310 --> 26:42.410 I should have 26:43.830 --> 26:45.090 but I don't feel it 26:46.770 --> 26:48.410 because I know by the next day 26:48.410 --> 26:50.450 I'll be back out there on the road again 26:50.450 --> 26:52.830 either I'll be sleeping on the streets 26:52.830 --> 26:54.490 trying to hitch a ride 26:54.490 --> 26:56.490 either I'll be sleeping 26:56.490 --> 26:58.470 in some nature somewhere 26:58.470 --> 26:59.970 along the highway 27:01.170 --> 27:02.610 or resting again 27:02.610 --> 27:04.210 at a 24 hour 27:04.870 --> 27:05.970 rest station 27:06.670 --> 27:08.590 speaking to lorry drivers hoping to 27:08.590 --> 27:10.410 catch a ride at 5am in the morning 27:11.870 --> 27:13.550 and in that hostel room 27:13.550 --> 27:14.970 I told myself 27:14.970 --> 27:16.190 God dang 27:17.050 --> 27:19.630 I must find a way to pass by winter 27:20.290 --> 27:20.770 otherwise 27:21.470 --> 27:23.110 I'll be frozen to death by 27:23.110 --> 27:24.510 by the time I 27:25.530 --> 27:26.790 I come to my senses 27:26.790 --> 27:27.590 you know 27:30.170 --> 27:31.970 so I charged my phone 27:31.970 --> 27:33.710 pulled out google maps 27:34.290 --> 27:35.710 and I saw the country 27:36.670 --> 27:38.110 next to the Czech Republic 27:38.630 --> 27:39.710 and I said to myself 27:39.710 --> 27:42.030 that is the place I need to go 27:42.510 --> 27:43.530 I don't know why 27:44.370 --> 27:45.450 but I told myself 27:45.450 --> 27:46.650 and it was the right feeling 27:46.650 --> 27:48.930 that I needed to go to Austria 27:49.730 --> 27:50.750 specifically Vienna 27:51.910 --> 27:53.430 what was I going to do in Vienna 27:53.430 --> 27:54.330 I don't know 27:54.330 --> 27:56.210 but from what I heard from travellers 27:56.870 --> 27:57.970 at that time 27:57.970 --> 27:59.750 during february march 27:59.750 --> 28:02.470 that Austria was warm 28:03.290 --> 28:04.910 and I needed a bit of sun 28:06.290 --> 28:07.630 because imagine this man 28:07.630 --> 28:10.850 you've been in Scandinavia for about a month or two 28:10.850 --> 28:11.230 and then 28:11.230 --> 28:13.810 you landed yourself in Berlin 28:13.810 --> 28:14.710 and it's still cold 28:14.710 --> 28:17.730 all you had gone through was the cold 28:18.530 --> 28:20.030 you need a bit of sun 28:22.570 --> 28:23.050 so 28:23.730 --> 28:24.990 I hitched a ride to Vienna 28:24.990 --> 28:27.850 and I made it in one day 28:29.090 --> 28:30.290 once I got to Vienna 28:30.290 --> 28:31.890 I pulled out google maps 28:32.590 --> 28:34.450 without a plan in my mind 28:35.510 --> 28:36.970 I pulled out google maps 28:37.470 --> 28:39.650 and I looked for the nearest hostel 28:41.010 --> 28:42.090 and I said to myself 28:42.090 --> 28:42.970 if I find one 28:43.630 --> 28:45.190 I'm going to go up to this hostel 28:45.190 --> 28:46.930 and I'm going to ask for work 28:48.790 --> 28:49.850 and I found one 28:50.850 --> 28:52.090 and I made my way 28:53.150 --> 28:54.690 turns out I was pretty close 28:54.690 --> 28:56.110 the guy who dropped me off 28:56.110 --> 28:58.010 in Vienna dropped me off 28:58.010 --> 28:59.730 at a place called Westbahnhof 28:59.730 --> 29:01.390 which is a region very central 29:02.060 --> 29:02.770 in Vienna 29:04.890 --> 29:05.810 at 8pm 29:06.590 --> 29:08.450 I landed in Westbahnhof 29:08.450 --> 29:10.350 made my way to this hostel 29:10.350 --> 29:12.050 walked up to the counter 29:12.050 --> 29:13.590 and I said my man 29:14.610 --> 29:16.990 because the person who was on the counter 29:16.990 --> 29:17.990 was a guy 29:17.990 --> 29:18.730 I said my man 29:18.730 --> 29:19.910 I'm a volunteer 29:20.590 --> 29:21.990 and I'm looking for work 29:23.170 --> 29:25.130 do you have any work here at this hostel 29:25.610 --> 29:26.830 and the guy looked at me 29:26.830 --> 29:28.290 this crazy Chinese dude 29:29.570 --> 29:31.570 and if you can imagine 29:32.310 --> 29:34.730 travelling all these months sleeping on the road 29:36.690 --> 29:38.310 and not eating properly 29:38.310 --> 29:39.410 and raggedy clothes 29:39.410 --> 29:42.130 and not raggedy clothes 29:42.130 --> 29:43.710 but you know what I mean I'm not fresh 29:43.710 --> 29:44.590 I got an edge to me 29:46.270 --> 29:48.310 he looked at me he must have looked at me crazy 29:49.270 --> 29:50.870 but he said hang on let me call my manager 29:51.870 --> 29:52.930 so he picks up the phone 29:52.930 --> 29:53.430 and says hey 29:54.930 --> 29:56.350 there's a guy who just came 29:56.350 --> 29:58.050 to the hostel and he's looking for work 29:58.650 --> 30:00.030 and then he turns to me 30:00.030 --> 30:01.010 can you start tomorrow 30:01.010 --> 30:02.870 I said my man I can start right now 30:03.530 --> 30:05.010 as long as you give me a room 30:05.010 --> 30:06.750 he said the deal is done 30:06.750 --> 30:08.410 you shall start tomorrow 30:09.010 --> 30:10.370 I thought to myself what 30:10.800 --> 30:11.830 this actually worked 30:16.190 --> 30:18.130 I was so happy then 30:18.130 --> 30:21.110 and the guy told me 30:21.110 --> 30:22.910 here's the key to your room 30:22.910 --> 30:24.850 you're going to be sharing rooms 30:25.690 --> 30:27.190 go to sleep take a shower 30:27.190 --> 30:29.530 and your work begins tomorrow morning 30:30.530 --> 30:31.550 and I said okay 30:33.070 --> 30:35.510 and as I walked to my room 30:35.510 --> 30:37.810 I could not believe what just happened 30:39.710 --> 30:41.550 now I'm telling you this because 30:41.550 --> 30:44.710 not only was that part of my journey 30:44.710 --> 30:46.630 a focal point 30:46.630 --> 30:48.250 a turning point 30:48.250 --> 30:50.850 but it is a demonstration 30:50.850 --> 30:52.810 an indirect demonstration 30:52.810 --> 30:54.650 of what you can create 30:54.650 --> 30:56.870 once you put your mind to 30:56.870 --> 30:58.590 what it is you wanted to create 30:59.630 --> 31:01.530 and if you are listening 31:01.530 --> 31:02.070 to me 31:03.930 --> 31:04.770 and perhaps 31:05.890 --> 31:07.090 you don't have confidence 31:07.090 --> 31:09.490 in rebuilding 31:09.490 --> 31:10.710 or creating 31:11.930 --> 31:13.190 something for your life 31:13.190 --> 31:14.770 let's not talk about anything grand 31:14.770 --> 31:17.110 let's just talk about something for your life 31:18.650 --> 31:19.810 I just want to tell you 31:19.810 --> 31:20.750 as long as you believe 31:21.970 --> 31:23.150 and let nothing 31:23.150 --> 31:24.490 stand in your way 31:25.510 --> 31:26.650 you can make it happen 31:28.230 --> 31:29.350 and you don't have to 31:29.350 --> 31:30.430 have travelled 31:30.430 --> 31:33.130 and gone through the same journey as me 31:34.490 --> 31:36.810 just as long as you believe 31:37.450 --> 31:38.730 that you can 31:39.770 --> 31:41.170 god damn it you can 31:43.730 --> 31:45.490 and as I sat in that 31:45.490 --> 31:47.070 hostile room with my key 31:47.070 --> 31:49.190 in this warm 31:49.190 --> 31:49.810 room 31:51.130 --> 31:52.610 with access to a shower 31:53.550 --> 31:55.410 a place to wash my clothes 31:56.530 --> 31:57.760 and most importantly 31:59.450 --> 32:00.150 company 32:01.870 --> 32:04.450 it was very hard for me to contain myself 32:04.450 --> 32:10.530 and looking at 32:10.530 --> 32:12.470 the inventory that I had 32:12.470 --> 32:14.010 I told myself 32:14.010 --> 32:14.930 if I were to 32:15.780 --> 32:17.110 get myself to Asia 32:17.110 --> 32:18.610 I cannot continue 32:18.610 --> 32:20.290 like this 32:20.290 --> 32:23.410 and so the next morning came 32:23.410 --> 32:25.190 I began my work 32:25.190 --> 32:26.370 at this hostel 32:26.370 --> 32:28.270 serving breakfast every morning 32:28.270 --> 32:30.190 the dealer was pretty sweet 32:30.190 --> 32:32.830 all I had to do was work for four hours a day 32:33.710 --> 32:35.050 and the rest of the day 32:35.050 --> 32:35.730 I had three 32:36.930 --> 32:38.130 and I did this 32:38.670 --> 32:40.270 for a few weeks until 32:41.670 --> 32:42.630 I was able to 32:42.630 --> 32:44.790 speak to the owner 32:44.790 --> 32:46.590 of the hostel now I will keep the hostel 32:47.410 --> 32:48.370 anonymous because 32:48.370 --> 32:49.430 I would like to protect 32:50.850 --> 32:52.350 my family there 32:52.930 --> 32:54.210 the people that 32:54.970 --> 32:56.390 became my family that 32:56.390 --> 32:58.110 took me in and the friends 32:58.110 --> 32:59.010 that I met and 33:00.570 --> 33:01.530 if you are listening 33:02.490 --> 33:03.530 I miss you all 33:04.630 --> 33:05.870 and you saved me 33:08.010 --> 33:10.050 you saved me and you didn't even know 33:12.250 --> 33:13.830 and you didn't have to say 33:13.830 --> 33:15.550 yes to me you could have said no 33:16.230 --> 33:17.490 go to the next hostel 33:17.970 --> 33:19.350 where you said yes and 33:20.830 --> 33:22.290 because of that you saved me 33:25.450 --> 33:25.850 so 33:25.850 --> 33:27.570 I got to speak to the manager 33:27.570 --> 33:28.910 and I said to him my friend 33:30.430 --> 33:31.730 here is my story 33:31.730 --> 33:33.150 and I told him my full story 33:33.150 --> 33:35.250 where I had come from what I had done 33:35.250 --> 33:36.710 and where I am going to go 33:36.710 --> 33:39.150 and I told him look man 33:39.890 --> 33:41.710 I really need to earn some money 33:41.710 --> 33:43.950 for my travels and I will do anything for you 33:44.910 --> 33:45.950 just give me a chance 33:46.630 --> 33:47.750 and the guy looked at me 33:47.750 --> 33:48.630 he thought I was crazy 33:48.630 --> 33:51.030 he thought this guy is crazy 33:51.030 --> 33:52.170 this guy is crazy 33:53.670 --> 33:54.810 but I gave him a chance 33:54.810 --> 33:56.730 that's what he said to me I will give you a chance 33:58.430 --> 33:59.370 can you bartend 33:59.950 --> 34:00.770 I said well 34:01.550 --> 34:02.830 when I was very young 34:02.830 --> 34:04.770 when I was about 18 I worked 34:04.770 --> 34:06.810 at this pub in my hometown 34:06.810 --> 34:08.730 for about 3 months until I got fired 34:08.730 --> 34:10.390 he goes why did you get fired 34:10.390 --> 34:12.310 I said because I was talking too much 34:12.310 --> 34:14.750 and I didn't do work and the guy just laughed 34:14.750 --> 34:16.670 and he said well we have a bar 34:16.670 --> 34:18.370 and if you can pour a beer 34:18.790 --> 34:19.630 you can serve 34:19.630 --> 34:21.990 I said my man I can pour more than one beer 34:22.910 --> 34:24.270 he says can you make a cocktail 34:24.270 --> 34:25.950 I said if you give me a list 34:25.950 --> 34:27.970 if you give me a recipe book I can 34:27.970 --> 34:29.050 I can make a cocktail 34:30.390 --> 34:31.670 and so there I was 34:31.670 --> 34:33.390 I scored a job I paid job 34:34.430 --> 34:36.770 as well as working my volunteer shift 34:36.770 --> 34:38.270 so then 34:39.330 --> 34:41.150 as well as working for 4 hours a day 34:41.150 --> 34:42.410 I had another 8 hour shift 34:42.410 --> 34:43.450 which was cool you know 34:43.450 --> 34:44.810 earned some badass tips 34:45.470 --> 34:46.870 badass tips my friend 34:46.870 --> 34:48.750 and I ended up staying 34:48.750 --> 34:50.390 in Vienna for one month 34:51.090 --> 34:53.330 and I earned some good badass money 34:53.330 --> 34:54.630 I'm telling you 34:54.630 --> 34:56.330 it was a focal point 34:56.330 --> 34:57.970 in that journey 35:00.950 --> 35:02.090 but even though 35:02.090 --> 35:04.850 things were going so well for me at that time 35:06.350 --> 35:08.050 something really hit me 35:08.790 --> 35:10.750 again and it was the seed 35:10.750 --> 35:12.670 of what I experienced while I was 35:12.670 --> 35:14.790 in Berlin and Czech Republic 35:14.790 --> 35:16.310 and that was 35:16.310 --> 35:19.010 the lonesomeness of the road 35:19.830 --> 35:20.550 and 35:20.550 --> 35:22.610 the unnaturalness of what 35:22.610 --> 35:23.830 we call natural 35:24.670 --> 35:26.550 the man-made world 35:26.550 --> 35:27.270 I would say 35:30.370 --> 35:31.690 now bearing in mind 35:32.610 --> 35:33.930 I had a lot of time 35:34.570 --> 35:36.610 exploring Vienna and being with the 35:36.610 --> 35:37.430 Viennese people 35:38.430 --> 35:39.870 and in Europe 35:39.870 --> 35:41.610 I would say culturally 35:41.610 --> 35:42.150 Vienna 35:42.150 --> 35:44.610 is a vibrant place 35:44.610 --> 35:46.590 very well established 35:48.290 --> 35:49.210 economically 35:49.870 --> 35:51.510 people are affluent 35:53.550 --> 35:54.630 people's mindset 35:54.630 --> 35:56.410 and their lifestyle 35:56.410 --> 35:58.030 is sweet 35:59.790 --> 36:00.250 but 36:01.750 --> 36:03.890 it is very easy to be trapped 36:03.890 --> 36:05.790 by this matrix and I saw 36:05.790 --> 36:08.030 for the first time 36:08.030 --> 36:08.710 in my life 36:10.270 --> 36:12.190 physically and tangibly 36:12.190 --> 36:13.410 the matrix 36:15.810 --> 36:17.410 let me try and 36:17.850 --> 36:18.870 put it into words 36:18.870 --> 36:19.930 if I can 36:23.270 --> 36:25.350 there's a lot of things that make us numb 36:27.590 --> 36:30.090 especially this modern life that we live 36:30.090 --> 36:32.270 that we work so hard for 36:33.530 --> 36:35.690 and as I was traversing Vienna 36:35.690 --> 36:37.750 I too would spend times 36:37.750 --> 36:39.430 in cafes 36:39.430 --> 36:40.550 restaurants 36:41.550 --> 36:41.910 parks 36:43.190 --> 36:45.130 and blending in with the Viennese 36:45.130 --> 36:45.790 and the culture 36:46.550 --> 36:48.270 but I would ask myself 36:48.270 --> 36:49.910 what for 36:49.910 --> 36:51.690 what purpose 36:51.690 --> 36:54.890 other than to numb my senses 36:56.490 --> 36:59.350 because now I am too comfortable to realize 36:59.350 --> 37:00.290 that I am 37:00.290 --> 37:02.450 I am working for 37:02.450 --> 37:04.530 for what 37:06.590 --> 37:08.590 now I know what I was working for 37:09.470 --> 37:10.830 but I tried to put myself 37:10.830 --> 37:12.970 in the shoes of a modern person 37:12.970 --> 37:13.350 why 37:14.170 --> 37:16.690 why is it that I must live this way 37:18.710 --> 37:20.170 is it happy 37:20.170 --> 37:21.410 to live this way 37:22.510 --> 37:24.430 now I come from a first world country 37:26.410 --> 37:27.490 I should be proud 37:28.450 --> 37:29.730 of what I have had 37:29.730 --> 37:32.130 and the privileges that I have had 37:32.130 --> 37:33.370 at my disposal 37:34.090 --> 37:35.830 but it was then in Vienna 37:36.710 --> 37:38.170 when I asked myself 37:39.950 --> 37:41.150 is this right 37:45.530 --> 37:47.190 and it was then when I realized 37:47.190 --> 37:49.530 what I was searching for this whole time 37:50.810 --> 37:53.930 and this thing was truth 37:55.270 --> 37:56.310 my truth 38:00.710 --> 38:01.950 now let me tell you 38:03.250 --> 38:04.810 if you travel like me 38:05.850 --> 38:07.690 and if you have committed yourself 38:07.690 --> 38:08.910 to the nomadic life 38:10.650 --> 38:12.830 the things which people call natural 38:13.610 --> 38:14.790 become very unnatural 38:15.510 --> 38:16.390 for you 38:16.390 --> 38:17.990 at least for me 38:21.330 --> 38:21.930 restaurants 38:22.630 --> 38:23.230 cafes 38:24.110 --> 38:24.710 theaters 38:24.710 --> 38:26.130 concerts 38:26.710 --> 38:27.450 parties 38:28.330 --> 38:29.090 shows 38:30.670 --> 38:32.590 these give you a temporary 38:32.590 --> 38:34.330 a temporary 38:34.330 --> 38:36.110 a temporary sense 38:37.050 --> 38:39.030 of welcomeness and home 38:40.310 --> 38:41.770 in actual fact 38:41.770 --> 38:43.350 you are paying 38:44.930 --> 38:46.470 to be serviced 38:46.470 --> 38:48.810 and to be treated like a kin 38:49.890 --> 38:51.510 but I will tell you this 38:52.430 --> 38:53.870 once you have no money 38:55.730 --> 38:57.290 once you have no station 38:59.030 --> 39:01.030 they don't want anything to do with you 39:03.890 --> 39:05.510 but why do people like going out 39:05.510 --> 39:07.030 to these 39:08.090 --> 39:09.370 outings and these places 39:09.990 --> 39:11.510 because it gives them a sense of 39:11.510 --> 39:13.610 feeling and pride and it soothes 39:13.610 --> 39:14.130 their ego 39:15.370 --> 39:17.430 and this is the thing that 39:17.430 --> 39:18.210 numbs you 39:19.030 --> 39:20.790 this is the thing that almost 39:20.790 --> 39:21.650 numbed me 39:22.150 --> 39:23.090 being in Vienna 39:24.290 --> 39:25.670 and my spirit 39:26.210 --> 39:27.670 the spirit of magic 39:28.210 --> 39:29.610 within me pushed back 39:30.210 --> 39:31.810 and I saw my truth 39:31.810 --> 39:33.950 I don't want any of this 39:36.550 --> 39:37.950 and as I realized 39:37.950 --> 39:39.510 these feelings 39:40.370 --> 39:42.170 it felt like as the days 39:42.170 --> 39:44.090 went on in Vienna as I 39:44.090 --> 39:45.490 began to accumulate 39:46.410 --> 39:47.730 a good amount of money 39:49.390 --> 39:51.230 and I began to rebuild myself 39:52.410 --> 39:53.610 my life force 39:53.610 --> 39:55.270 felt like it was being snuffed out 39:56.170 --> 39:58.150 and if you have ever felt this way 39:58.150 --> 39:59.590 then let me tell you one thing 39:59.590 --> 40:01.230 it's hard to get rid of 40:01.230 --> 40:03.730 hard to get rid of 40:07.030 --> 40:07.830 and so 40:09.190 --> 40:10.390 after one month 40:10.390 --> 40:11.890 of blending in 40:11.890 --> 40:14.270 I couldn't take it anymore 40:14.270 --> 40:15.970 and so I began hitching 40:15.970 --> 40:16.970 east again 40:18.730 --> 40:20.450 but before I left 40:20.450 --> 40:23.190 I had one last thing to do 40:23.190 --> 40:24.210 whilst in Vienna 40:24.210 --> 40:26.830 and if I was a normal person 40:26.830 --> 40:28.830 I wouldn't have needed to do this 40:28.830 --> 40:30.410 but because I had also 40:30.410 --> 40:32.170 committed my life 40:32.170 --> 40:32.710 to 40:33.770 --> 40:35.690 the art of prestidigitation 40:35.690 --> 40:36.830 and magic 40:37.950 --> 40:39.990 I had to visit the grave 40:39.990 --> 40:42.570 of Johann Neppermarkov-Sinzer 40:44.150 --> 40:46.130 and if you don't know who he is 40:46.130 --> 40:46.850 that's fine 40:47.770 --> 40:49.070 you'll come to know him 40:50.390 --> 40:51.890 but for those who know 40:51.890 --> 40:53.090 you know 40:55.230 --> 40:56.930 and I found myself 40:58.670 --> 41:00.410 at his gravestone 41:01.610 --> 41:02.810 on a grey 41:04.910 --> 41:06.610 rainy Vienna day 41:07.430 --> 41:08.770 and it was strange 41:08.770 --> 41:09.550 because standing 41:10.390 --> 41:12.590 at a gravestone of a dead man 41:12.590 --> 41:14.270 gave me more power 41:14.270 --> 41:14.750 and more 41:15.430 --> 41:17.630 feeling of home 41:18.730 --> 41:20.030 than anything else 41:20.030 --> 41:21.850 I had encountered and experienced 41:21.850 --> 41:23.330 whilst being on the road 41:23.330 --> 41:25.450 it felt right to me 41:26.870 --> 41:28.010 and I knew 41:28.610 --> 41:30.470 that all the different roles 41:30.470 --> 41:32.170 that Jin Lee was playing 41:32.170 --> 41:34.110 all these years 41:34.110 --> 41:36.610 was just like putting on new clothing 41:36.610 --> 41:37.890 and wearing a new mask 41:37.890 --> 41:40.030 and that where I truly belong 41:40.030 --> 41:41.790 and where my spirit 41:41.790 --> 41:43.030 truly thrives 41:43.750 --> 41:44.730 is in magic 41:45.870 --> 41:47.030 thank you professor 41:48.210 --> 41:48.730 for 41:50.490 --> 41:51.590 helping me realise 41:52.330 --> 41:53.310 where I was 41:54.070 --> 41:55.510 and what I had needed to do 41:57.070 --> 41:58.550 and I hope you liked 41:58.550 --> 41:59.710 my performance of 42:00.270 --> 42:01.510 the Masado Rings 42:01.510 --> 42:03.390 it is a modern version 42:03.390 --> 42:04.970 a 21st century 42:04.970 --> 42:07.290 re-invention of the classic linking rings 42:07.290 --> 42:08.910 I mean I don't know if 42:08.910 --> 42:10.550 back in the 18th century 42:10.550 --> 42:11.810 or the 17th century 42:12.830 --> 42:14.950 the linking rings were so vibrant 42:15.610 --> 42:17.470 well I hope you found it beautiful 42:19.250 --> 42:20.410 I'm still learning 42:24.050 --> 42:24.690 so 42:25.890 --> 42:27.010 passing Croatia 42:27.790 --> 42:29.130 Serbia, Bulgaria 42:29.130 --> 42:30.410 sleeping in the wild 42:30.410 --> 42:31.890 sleeping on highways 42:31.890 --> 42:34.130 petrol stations 42:35.610 --> 42:37.090 abandoned places 42:37.090 --> 42:38.730 I 42:38.730 --> 42:40.810 eventually got myself 42:40.810 --> 42:42.010 to Istanbul 42:43.130 --> 42:44.350 hitchhiking to Istanbul 42:45.530 --> 42:46.890 and again 42:46.890 --> 42:48.990 if you have ever been 42:48.990 --> 42:51.470 to a place for a full 24 hours 42:51.470 --> 42:52.230 you would learn 42:52.730 --> 42:55.630 so very much about that place 42:56.470 --> 42:57.830 and I had thought 42:57.830 --> 42:59.050 up until that time 42:59.050 --> 43:00.270 after reaching Istanbul 43:00.270 --> 43:01.990 being on the road 43:01.990 --> 43:04.070 for 8 months 43:04.070 --> 43:06.650 I had thought I would be comfortable 43:06.650 --> 43:09.850 in experiencing this lonesomeness 43:09.850 --> 43:10.170 and 43:10.910 --> 43:13.230 the dichotomy of naturalness 43:13.230 --> 43:14.330 and unnaturalness 43:16.550 --> 43:18.250 but once I hit Istanbul 43:18.250 --> 43:20.690 it was a whole other level 43:20.690 --> 43:21.330 of 43:22.830 --> 43:23.510 strangeness 43:23.510 --> 43:25.330 absolute strangeness 43:27.970 --> 43:29.210 and Istanbul 43:29.210 --> 43:32.270 really left a bad taste 43:32.270 --> 43:33.050 in my mouth 43:33.810 --> 43:35.270 for many reasons 43:36.410 --> 43:37.750 of which I would not 43:37.750 --> 43:39.670 get into but one thing 43:39.670 --> 43:40.690 I will tell you is that 43:41.310 --> 43:42.030 the rich 43:42.030 --> 43:43.930 and the privileged 43:44.910 --> 43:46.950 all these are built upon 43:46.950 --> 43:48.670 the sufferings of the poor 43:52.210 --> 43:52.810 well 43:53.490 --> 43:55.690 it's been a long conversation my friend 43:57.830 --> 43:59.550 did I make it to Hong Kong 44:00.810 --> 44:01.630 I did 44:01.630 --> 44:02.690 eventually 44:03.710 --> 44:06.230 but not how I originally planned 44:07.450 --> 44:09.370 with the help of some very 44:09.370 --> 44:10.370 loving people 44:10.370 --> 44:12.450 who supported me on the journey 44:13.250 --> 44:15.550 knocked me to my senses 44:16.750 --> 44:17.570 asking me 44:17.570 --> 44:19.150 why was I risking my life 44:19.150 --> 44:20.470 like that 44:22.810 --> 44:25.370 and it was very hard for me to tell them 44:25.370 --> 44:25.690 why 44:26.310 --> 44:28.710 the only thing I could say was that 44:28.710 --> 44:29.530 I needed to 44:31.290 --> 44:33.010 because if I continued 44:33.010 --> 44:34.050 sitting there 44:34.050 --> 44:35.390 in my room 44:36.050 --> 44:39.090 in early 2017 I would go insane 44:39.090 --> 44:40.950 if I continued 44:40.950 --> 44:43.210 hitting my head against that wall 44:43.210 --> 44:44.910 trying to create 44:46.770 --> 44:48.210 without the tools 44:48.210 --> 44:48.910 and the experiences 44:50.430 --> 44:51.870 I would go insane 44:53.370 --> 44:55.610 if I continued surrounding myself 44:55.610 --> 44:56.950 with the people that I did 44:58.170 --> 44:59.630 I would go insane 44:59.630 --> 45:02.090 and I needed to go on this journey 45:02.090 --> 45:03.670 and if you would kill me 45:04.570 --> 45:05.210 then 45:05.210 --> 45:07.290 I was prepared to die 45:09.750 --> 45:11.910 everyone has a secret journey 45:13.890 --> 45:15.610 you have a secret journey too 45:16.970 --> 45:18.730 something at the back of your mind 45:18.730 --> 45:20.770 a place that you wanted to go 45:21.770 --> 45:23.670 or something that you wanted to do 45:25.770 --> 45:27.170 when we were born 45:27.170 --> 45:29.170 we were born a clean slate 45:31.490 --> 45:33.070 but as we grow older 45:33.910 --> 45:35.350 we develop a veil 45:35.350 --> 45:37.530 that shrouds our vision 45:37.530 --> 45:38.870 and creativity 45:38.870 --> 45:40.710 and our spirit of magic 45:43.750 --> 45:45.510 and because of this veil 45:45.510 --> 45:46.710 we continue 45:48.010 --> 45:49.030 to live 45:49.030 --> 45:50.490 but we do not believe 45:50.490 --> 45:52.710 that we can achieve 45:52.710 --> 45:54.010 and create 45:54.590 --> 45:55.650 what we imagined 45:56.790 --> 45:59.010 because other people tell us otherwise 46:01.010 --> 46:02.470 that we need this 46:02.470 --> 46:03.990 we need that 46:05.590 --> 46:07.170 I just want to tell you 46:07.170 --> 46:08.390 that you don't 46:09.710 --> 46:11.630 and if you exercise the free will 46:11.630 --> 46:13.050 and exercise 46:13.050 --> 46:14.970 your spirit of magic 46:16.670 --> 46:17.550 you can 46:18.190 --> 46:20.670 create what you want to create for yourself 46:20.670 --> 46:22.170 against all odds 46:24.150 --> 46:25.910 and this is your truth 46:27.190 --> 46:29.330 just like this journey was my truth 46:32.550 --> 46:34.030 and after everything 46:34.030 --> 46:36.050 I had reached Hong Kong 46:36.050 --> 46:37.050 in 46:37.690 --> 46:39.810 late April 2018 46:41.810 --> 46:44.130 and as I sat there at the airport 46:44.130 --> 46:46.130 as I got off the plane 46:47.010 --> 46:48.990 hearing my own language again 46:48.990 --> 46:49.730 and seeing 46:49.730 --> 46:52.430 and being with my own people again 46:52.430 --> 46:54.450 after five long years 46:55.550 --> 46:58.370 the journey that I undertook flashed by 46:58.370 --> 47:00.270 and it was like a blur to me 47:00.270 --> 47:01.730 it was like a dream 47:03.410 --> 47:05.250 but it was a visceral dream 47:05.250 --> 47:07.130 that started out 47:07.520 --> 47:08.890 just as a little seed 47:08.890 --> 47:10.730 and a little thought in my mind 47:12.150 --> 47:13.290 and to conclude 47:13.290 --> 47:14.670 this conversation 47:15.370 --> 47:16.730 I just want to say 47:19.790 --> 47:22.370 you are more capable than what you believe 47:23.950 --> 47:25.610 you have more in you 47:25.610 --> 47:27.370 than what you think you have 47:28.970 --> 47:31.070 you have two hands and two legs 47:32.610 --> 47:34.630 if things don't work out for you 47:34.630 --> 47:36.270 you can walk 47:37.010 --> 47:38.430 you can do things 47:40.610 --> 47:41.870 when I was working 47:41.870 --> 47:43.830 on the farm in Belgium 47:45.570 --> 47:46.710 in 2016 47:47.250 --> 47:48.570 I saw first hand 47:49.130 --> 47:51.470 what two empty hands 47:51.470 --> 47:53.550 and a dream in the heart can create 47:54.350 --> 47:55.230 a way 47:55.230 --> 47:57.350 from the labels and the distinctions 47:57.350 --> 47:57.750 of 47:59.110 --> 48:00.150 what you are taught 48:01.470 --> 48:03.370 and even if you find yourself 48:03.370 --> 48:04.970 in the lowest of the low places 48:04.970 --> 48:07.230 you can still pick yourself back up 48:07.930 --> 48:09.090 but do not 48:10.090 --> 48:11.150 for one moment 48:11.150 --> 48:12.550 tell yourself that I cannot 48:13.270 --> 48:14.930 and do not kid yourself 48:14.930 --> 48:17.190 by putting 48:17.190 --> 48:19.530 a carrot in front of you 48:20.350 --> 48:22.550 in the hopes that one day you will reach it 48:22.550 --> 48:24.890 because I know people who are like this 48:25.750 --> 48:27.090 they tell me or Jin 48:28.290 --> 48:29.950 I wish to change my life 48:30.670 --> 48:31.930 I have no skills 48:32.510 --> 48:33.650 I have no money 48:34.330 --> 48:35.290 I don't know what to do 48:35.290 --> 48:38.330 I tell them you have two hands 48:38.330 --> 48:39.170 and two legs now 48:40.250 --> 48:41.430 you have your passport 48:43.050 --> 48:44.650 if you are like me in Europe 48:45.230 --> 48:46.070 you have 48:46.070 --> 48:48.530 the whole of Europe as your playground 48:48.530 --> 48:50.010 to develop yourself 48:51.050 --> 48:52.250 why don't you do it 48:53.870 --> 48:56.530 why let things limit and restrict you 48:57.230 --> 48:59.450 the only reason that I can 49:00.150 --> 49:01.330 pinpoint is that 49:02.670 --> 49:03.890 you are afraid 49:05.670 --> 49:06.870 you are afraid 49:08.330 --> 49:10.210 and so you lie to yourself 49:11.450 --> 49:13.930 you put a goal in front of you 49:14.710 --> 49:15.730 and tell you 49:15.730 --> 49:17.710 as long as I reach this goal I'll be okay 49:18.870 --> 49:20.110 but the one thing 49:20.110 --> 49:21.550 that you do not realise is that 49:21.550 --> 49:23.630 once you put this goal in front of you 49:23.630 --> 49:25.330 if you don't change your mindset 49:26.530 --> 49:27.830 if the wellspring 49:28.310 --> 49:30.450 of your spirit is still poisoned 49:31.010 --> 49:32.890 you will never reach your goal 49:32.890 --> 49:34.370 and you will be 49:34.370 --> 49:35.690 snuffed out by life 49:35.690 --> 49:38.170 just like I was almost snuffed out 49:40.070 --> 49:42.090 and let's speak practically now 49:44.810 --> 49:46.650 if you are a youngster like me 49:46.650 --> 49:48.310 without any skills 49:48.310 --> 49:50.230 and nothing to your name 49:50.230 --> 49:51.310 and no money 49:52.330 --> 49:53.750 get yourself on helpx 49:54.510 --> 49:55.870 helpx.net 49:56.650 --> 49:58.530 register yourself as a volunteer 49:58.530 --> 50:00.630 and go around Europe 50:00.630 --> 50:02.390 working and learning skills 50:03.190 --> 50:05.730 because the skills you pick up along the way 50:05.730 --> 50:07.150 will serve you 50:07.150 --> 50:08.910 once you come back 50:08.910 --> 50:10.390 to your life 50:14.030 --> 50:14.870 and so 50:16.230 --> 50:17.330 16th of February 50:18.270 --> 50:18.910 2018 50:20.170 --> 50:21.130 the time 50:22.770 --> 50:24.050 15.50pm 50:26.150 --> 50:26.770 I hope 50:26.770 --> 50:29.190 that the conversation that we had 50:29.190 --> 50:32.090 and the journey that I just shared with you 50:32.090 --> 50:34.450 would be of any use to you 50:34.450 --> 50:36.570 and I hope that as well 50:36.570 --> 50:38.550 you continue to create 50:38.550 --> 50:41.510 and exercise the spirit 50:41.510 --> 50:42.990 of magic that you have 50:42.990 --> 50:43.850 within you 50:44.790 --> 50:46.730 and don't let anyone tell you 50:46.730 --> 50:48.530 that it's impossible 50:48.530 --> 50:49.190 you and me 50:49.930 --> 50:52.030 we're in the business of impossibility 50:52.030 --> 50:52.870 we're in that business 50:55.330 --> 50:56.450 I wish you 50:56.450 --> 50:57.550 all the best 50:57.550 --> 50:58.630 and until then 51:00.610 --> 51:01.930 I'll see you down the road