Good morning, afternoon, or evening depending on where you are tuning into this channel,
and also this video.
Welcome to another episode of the "Mirrors and Reflections" segment.
For those who don't know me by name, let me introduce myself. I'm Benjamin, Rebe's husband.
the absolute owner of this virtual house, and of those she has purchased elsewhere
with the name of RebeJumper, although he always emphasizes that we are partners within
from his gossip emporium.
Before continuing with the topic I will share today,
Let me clarify something that I consider important and that I will mention at the beginning of each video.
In case anyone hasn't seen the first one in which I explained some of my parameters
publications related to psychiatry, because that's what I do.
Obviously it won't be with all the explanations I gave the first time,
But knowing that all this is due to automation due to the time factor is enough.
What you can see and hear is a mixture of reality and virtual technology,
because through the artificial intelligence services we have at home,
I was able to animate my photo and then edit the looping video clip with lip syncing my voice.
I also consider it important for you to know that the photo for the video clip to be generated in
Seedance, it is edited because I put a certain percentage of Gaussian blur in the background.
Nothing else, regarding the photo animation. When converting the image to video
can vary the focus of the moving camera to some degree and be more noticeable as
an avatar that looks like a photo with a realistic, hyper or ultra style. That depends on each person who
write the prompt and much more than what the artificial intelligence interprets due to the
training it has had. The final video clip delivered to us by the hard artificial intelligence
maximum 10 seconds, although sometimes it can extend up to a minute. No longer. Now,
Imagine extending the video for more than 30 minutes, which is usually a rule of thumb.
podcast. Well, you will sometimes notice a break in the joints, not abrupt if you know how to edit in a
video editing program like After Effects or another one with which they feel identified because
They know how to use it. And of course it's like Rebe says with respect to what. Or we see ourselves with the face of Decepticons,
or worse, with the skin of poorly made plastic dolls from Alibaba or Temu. That's why,
As a tip, you can just listen while doing other activities.
I am aware that where I am recording the audio, this time in my office,
It's not a podcast studio, but I try to soundproof the final file,
as far as I know and can with an additional program. This, to clean up a little the
interference, cuts, interruptions, noise, static and other junk
typical of raw sound. And with regard to language, my native language is not Spanish,
But something similar happened to me to what happened to my brother with his wife.
Rebe taught me to speak and understand a language that she masters,
Although it is not his mother tongue either, because we are both fellow countrymen. It has been very difficult for me.
learn Spanish, much more than Turkish, which I also learned with Reve and my mother-in-law.
It became more difficult, especially in the phonation part and also because I didn't understand
slang or certain verb conjugations. But I notice that I have polished it quite a bit and now
I can hold a conversation, not just with my private teacher. An extra fact in
As for languages, I don't speak much English, to say the least.
I always have to use simultaneous translator for songs, look for translated versions of
books, dubbing or subtitles in English-speaking films, so if any Anglicism
I bring it up in my conversation and it is mispronounced, please excuse me, just like those Hispanics
speakers who are listening and notice in my voice imperfections of their vernacular language
A thousand apologies. That said, I continue. I'm writing a prose novel dedicated to a
interracial couple that I have accompanied for four years and who just a few weeks ago
I gave him the final discharge. The husband has a subspecialty in forensic psychiatry and together
with his wife, an industrial psychologist. I was asked to write a story about
both from my perspective as their psychiatrist. This idea came as a response to a question
I asked them: "What can I do as a farewell act for you? Something that goes
beyond signing and sealing their medical records, which, although archived from today,
will never leave my memory, when I hear the words and clinical stories." My friend
He made his request with the same frankness that I had shown with both of them throughout
her complex treatment. That day, when I got home, Rebe asked me how I had done
in the office because she noticed I was pensive when I greeted her. I told her about the story
that I had to start creating, that I had promised that married couple to write them
without even setting a tentative delivery date. I'm not like Rebe.
She is passionate about creating everything from Haikus to dense novels while I like to read them.
or give them a critical opinion, although not as critical as my dad. Or worse, like my brother Ezequiel.
I read your drafts like a psychiatrist, but with the love of a husband. I do, however, point out the truth.
with foundations because if there is unnecessary flattery or flattery that is out of place, my wife notices it.
In a matter of seconds. My dad reads his daughter-in-law's writings with pure father-in-law love.
but using PARDES exegesis and psychology to examine even the smallest detail.
My twin brother, on the other hand, is a different story. Look, he may love my wife a lot.
and indulge her in everything. However, when he judges her writings he analyzes them with precision
Surgical. As if each word were an organ to be studied before understanding
its final anatomy and physiology. It seems like an editorial people. "Benjamin. Don't write a
thesis. Set aside your physiological touch and look for a catalyst. Something that awakens your inner self.
creative who is always asleep". My wife told me, passing me her cream-covered finger.
mounted by the nose because just when I got to greet her she was decorating a cake.
I asked him how to build an outline for a long story because it wasn't his
unknown that I had barely written informal short stories of a single chapter
and that. Because of challenges and invitations from some users on another social network. But writing
A prose novel was another level, especially since it was aimed at a couple who read.
Analytical. Accustomed to precise diagnoses and dissecting every detail of the
reality. This time. From your perspective, through my psychiatric and therapeutic lens.
I confessed to my wife that she combines map and compass writing and knows how to get there.
to the treasure located in the Mariana Trench in two days. However, I won't be able to reach it.
nor to the garden of the house in centuries with my knowledge of literary creation. He just laughed and told me no
will enter into a crisis of old grumpiness. Since he would help me anyway not only because in truth
It seemed like an interesting project to him and because he felt like giving me a helping hand because with
the left was enough for mine. I thought of the word catalysts. I've used so many with Rebe,
with my children, with my family, with my patients and with myself, who didn't know which to choose.
But after all, music became the catalyst that allowed me to write
more than fifty pages so far after creating the outline together with the expert.
Who kept his promise as long as his fees were punctual and high enough.
What defines the spirit of the emprosa novel I am writing is not known.
based not on the title but on the beauty that transcends. Not the one that is delayed or fades.
Gibran Khalil Gibran, Lebanese novelist, painter and essayist whose works are never missing from my library.
He wrote in the book The Prophet, in the chapter called about beauty, a poem alluding to this
adjective. And every time I read it I learn a new concept, like loose threads in an embroidery
are forming a compact work. Listen.
I transcribed the Arabic fragment you just heard. Beauty is not a necessity but an ecstasy.
It is not a thirsty mouth nor an empty hand but a burning heart and a captivated soul.
It is not the image you wish to see nor the song you long to hear, but the image you see
even if you close your eyes and the song you hear even if you cover your ears.
Beauty is life when it reveals its pure face, but you are life and you are the veil.
Beauty is eternity looking in a mirror but you are eternity and you are
the mirror.
It's a beautiful fragment.
Redundancy is appropriate,
beautiful. It represents beauty very well, not only as a literary expression.
According to sight, situations, environment, brain perceptions and taste.
Every human being determines what he or she finds beautiful and what he or she doesn't.
what deserves to be kept in memory and what should be buried in oblivion.
And although this is normal and inherent in X, you have to pay attention to it because certain
Mental disorders generate distortions. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations
incomprehensible between yes and no, where we must decide with certainty.
We enter into dilemmas, dichotomies, internal fights with our self but we must
establish a definitive resolution, one that becomes unbreakable.
This refers to the fact that if our decision-making capacity is not affected,
We must choose the right path to improve because otherwise, in the area of
mental health and psychiatry for example.
The consultation. Diagnosis and treatment with psychotropic drugs would be pointless.
When my patients or their families nod positively to what I say.
Not by going along with it, but with truth and commitment to themselves.
I always remember the words of the Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges in his book
Published in 1998, Personal Library, Prologues. Listen.
"Then occurs the singular emotion called beauty.
That beautiful mystery that neither psychology nor rhetoric can decipher."
For me, not only as a psychiatrist, individual life intertwined with emotions and environment,
with all its layers of simplicity and complexity. It is a beauty in itself.
I made this introduction with reference to the adjective of beauty for a reason,
valid because you will better understand what I want to tell you next.
In the morning a young man in his thirties was answering the call, and when I called his name he came in and closed the door.
He walked with his shoulders drooping, tired, with his gaze shifty,
as if the floor were safer than any face I could find.
I asked him to sit down, he took a deep breath. He handed me a signed reference from
of internal medicine and after greeting and I answering, I asked him if he knew that I
He was a psychiatrist, and he knew what it meant to come to my office.
A brief but important aside. These questions may seem silly and irrelevant.
However, for me they have great value even within therapeutic parameters.
formulas whenever I have new patients, whether I tell them directly or to their
relatives. I don't do it because I want to assess how much they know about psychiatry as if they were
university students, but because many times there are people who are referred to me
office from other specialties, with sealed envelopes, with presumptive diagnoses
of mental disorders that need immediate attention when they don't. And the worst thing is that
Patients are not notified about the fact that they will be speaking to a psychiatrist and that sometimes
It upsets them, it disappoints them, it stresses them out, it makes them more defensive. It has happened to me thousands of times.
Sometimes. Patients and their families don't even know they're talking to a psychiatrist,
especially when they ask: "Doctor, where is the stretcher for
lie down and start the examination?" That is, I auscultate, I examine, but in a mental way,
and psychiatry is the specialty where the body is not touched, but rather it is
observe and listen to behaviors and patterns. I also ask the questions when although
There is no formal referral signed by another doctor, some people suspect that
They need the help of a psychiatrist, since what they need is to be heard and
oriented but not medicated. Since they confuse the fact of being sad for a short period of time
day, with a major depressive disorder or a bipolar spectrum disorder. Or also when
They confuse the omission of closing the door or forgetting a key in another wallet or other
a piece of clothing with amnesia or even Alzheimer's. Or when now, as a social media trend
social, where self-diagnosis and empirical diagnosis abound everywhere.
Some people claim that their children have a type of mental illness that makes them
geniuses, hyperactive, surly and innate artists, referring to the deficit disorder
attention, or one of the spectrums of autism, as is the case of Asperger's. It is
that Dr. Facebook, X, Instagram, Telegram, TikTok and the whole gang, has a motto
already normalized and romanticized to the point of boredom and satiety: Every "restless" child, this
adjective in quotation marks, has ADHD. When what they actually present after analyzing
The cases are millions of needles in the butt. I say this not only to put it in history
clinical the definitive diagnosis of a patient with ADHD, I perform all the pertinent analyses
that are recommended in symposia, updates, conferences and even in the DSM-5, but because
I have three young children. None of them have crossed the four-year barrier yet,
girl and a pair of male twins, and how restless and intense they can get
in everyday life without this turning them into victims of carrying such a heavy load
as is ADHD. As a parent, as an individual who has his or her own criteria, and also
As a psychiatrist, I can say that this neuropsychiatric disorder is real. They have transformed it,
not in a mental illness but in something commercial that goes beyond the spectacle even of the
fame, because now even artists and criminals claim to have it. They have transformed it into a
voluntary decision of the individual that should not be seen as an illness, that should not be
be treated not even by a psychologist and less by a psychiatrist, but one must live
with freedom. This kind of ignorance causes distant metastases. You have no idea how many
slaps are given to the families of patients who really suffer from ADHD, and others
disorders that have also begun to be idealized, romanticized, and generalized on social networks
informal. I close the parenthesis. When this young man told me that he knew I was a psychiatrist,
and that my job was to heal the mind through listening and then make a diagnosis
and prescribe psychotropic drugs, I asked him what was the reason for his consultation, what
could help him. Although reading the internal medicine report it said that he has presented,
with the recent, just a month ago, three failed suicide attempts.
And he threw one of his open and infected wounds, disguised as a question, a doubt that resonated
in the air with the desperation of someone seeking external and extreme validation
fill an internal void: "Doctor, do you think I'm an attractive person? Pretty."
This young professional and apparently successful in his career, married for four years,
He was carrying an emotional burden that had led him to isolate himself socially.
avoiding mirrors and photographs, constantly questioning their value
staff based on aesthetic and real standards. That question was not a coincidence.
It was a cry for help disguised as curiosity. It revealed the fragility of her
self-image and how it depended on opinions other than her own to feel minimally acceptable.
At that moment his expression was a mixture of hope and fear, as if my answer as
psychiatrist could be the final verdict on his existence. His tone when asking,
His attitude itself made me suspect a severe body dysmorphic disorder,
anchored to a distorted perception of beauty that consumed him from within.
He was in his right mind. Sane. Aware of his situation, but his insides were
totally disconnected from his reality as a person, as a man, as a husband, as a human being.
In short, he was divorced from his surroundings. His questioning gave me the clue that
It was not something superficial, but rather cyclical manifestations of acute anxiety
due to certain repetitive nervous tics that I observed. Insomnia reflected in his dark circles
and a very low self-esteem that interferes, according to what he was telling me,
in their interpersonal relationships, including work and even sexual relationships.
Let's see. I want to make something clear here. As a mental health professional,
I am governed by strict ethical principles and standards of the doctor-patient relationship
that prioritize honesty to clarify doubts, to foster growth. But also
demand firm limits on comments and actions both within the consultation and
outside of it. It's not just about avoiding misunderstandings, but also about preserving neutrality.
therapeutic. I cannot become a source of flattery that feeds emotional dependencies.
Giving him an answer of that caliber, affirmative or negative, would have been
counterproductive by reinforcing your approval-seeking cycle, rather than helping to dismantle it
so that she can truly begin to heal. It wasn't about playing judge of her appearance,
but to accompany him in a process where limits and clarity are so important
as listening. As a psychiatrist, I have learned that ethical-medical laws
They even go beyond established recommendations because they do not intersect. This.
Not out of coldness, but out of respect, out of the responsibility that must be reflected
towards patients and their families. I can't answer someone something that I don't
You need to listen, even if the person wants you to tell them without filters,
but what you need to understand. To understand why it hurts so much not to feel well,
as if it were a color that doesn't fit in a painting, or it wasn't the missing piece in the
puzzle. In this particular case, my patient needed to understand why his
self-esteem hangs on a string that other people have stretched too thin. Why is your
value as a person, has been reduced to an aesthetic judgment that not even he himself
can control at this point, not when he has tried to commit suicide three times. So
that instead of answering with a yes or a no, which would have been the case anyway
insufficient and even dangerous. I played the psychiatric. Here's another parenthesis
which I think is important before continuing with the case. In the area of
mental health there is a procedure known as
Self-disclosure. It consists of telling intentionally and consciously, on the part of
from the psychologist or psychiatrist, personal aspects of his life such as
experiences, feelings, thoughts or anecdotes, in order to strengthen
therapy, normalize the patient's emotions, encourage empathy or model
healthy behaviors. This practice within pure psychoanalysis usually
be discouraged for fear of altering the focus of attention on the patient or violating the
neutrality of the therapist. However, in sessions with humanistic, warm touches
and relational is considered useful if used in moderation, with calibration
as long as the benefit of a person seeking help is prioritized
your mental health problem. You can share a brief similar experience
to the person who is heard in the consultation to reduce the stigma or
lower the tension without giving hope or completely turning away
to professional therapeutic advice and care, because the first is
based on the empirical and the second, based on science, on treaties
of medicine. It is a procedure similar to that used in the rapport process
because it leads a patient towards introspection, through a
A relatable personal anecdote. Not just anything can be told, but something
that serves as a mirror for your own mental patterns without invading your
space, without making comparisons or using exhibitionism, which has no
no sense and rather hinders the fluidity of the answers.
Self-revelation must always tell one of those stories that are kept
in the mental first aid box, they are not used to show off but to
empathize with the atmosphere of the office. They are like Chiehoff's weapons to
some of the patients and even their families.
Self-disclosure is not a universal technique, but it is a
strategic tool. Self-disclosure in the consultation depends as much on the
context as well as the reception that the patient or his/her family receives. No
It is always possible to use it because in some cases a personal story can
be uncomfortable or out of place. That's why I believe this technique should
be handled through two main routes. The first is when after
To perceive the need, the patient is asked if he or she wishes to hear a
experience similar to what you are going through. The goal is not to put yourself
as an example or minimize your distress, but offer you a framework
understanding that allows you to feel accompanied and understand that you are not the
only person who goes through that situation. For something inside
treatment, you are suggested to visit support groups. The second arises
based on the patient's own questions, often formulated in a
subtle way. As happened to me in the consultation with someone who suffers from
body dysmorphia when he didn't ask me for explanations about
psychiatry, but a direct judgment on their physical appearance. In
another, revelation can become a bridge, a door to
trust. I have experienced similar situations on numerous occasions.
occasions, both with patients and their families. For
cite four clear examples. A woman in pathological mourning for the
death of his son asked me if I had children and then if I had
lost any. I was not looking for science or theory, but a
human experience. I replied that yes, I had three, but
that years ago, before they came into my life
My wife and I had lost one, when he was still very
small. Something similar happened to a woman who suffered from syndrome
premenstrual dysphoric. She claimed that I couldn't understand her, that
I was just trying to medicate her like others had done before.
specialists. I explained to him that although I was not a woman to
experience firsthand their physical and psychological discomfort
During the period, I could understand it from experience
close because I had accompanied my wife in episodes of
intense suffering during her menstruation and knew what
devastating that could be to see someone you love
to go through a process like that, even though I knew that in part it was something
natural. Another case where a father with bipolar disorder
received a lawsuit from his wife, because he in
his manic episode, almost killed his six-year-old daughter because
He mistook correctness for aggression. He was
repentant. He knew about his diagnosed condition
since youth. I knew I had to take on the order of
distance that his wife imposed on him with good reason,
but he wanted me as his new psychiatrist to intercede for him
He, assuring his wife that such an event would not happen again.
I did not refuse to talk to his wife, but not to
assure him that the episode of aggression would not happen again
happen. I told him that nothing assures him that only
Because your daughter becomes very restless, do not send her again.
to the emergency room. Then his question arose:
"Doctor, what do you do when you correct your children?"
And I told him my personal experience, not as a psychiatrist,
but as a dad. How did you sometimes deal with the behavior
naughty and curious of my three children when they get loose?
How do I fix them? How do I tighten their nuts without putting them in trouble?
a finger on them and not even raise your voice and less
speak to them with bad words, being that I am a person who
Yes, he usually uses bad language when he is a lot
more than just annoying? Without generating comparisons.
I told him that he must understand that although we are both parents,
My case is not like yours because I, although
I let my anger overflow on purpose and they look for the
darker and less kind side, because as long as I have life
I will never be willing to tolerate anyone laying a finger on him.
to my wife and worse my hand, nor to my children, to my
nephews, and all my family ties. I do not suffer from
a spectrum of bipolarity and not of any degree of it
intermittent explosive disorder that has to
control with psychotropic drugs. I also remember the brother
from a patient who angrily complained to me
why his relative did not improve, why his
family sadness did not go away despite the
medication adjustments. Why couldn't I have even
even sex like before? I clarify that my patient barely
He had been diagnosed for a week when he
a case, not of sadness, but of a disorder of the
complicated mood with another condition
of organic type, as a rule, slight improvement
begins to appear after four weeks of
treatment. But because of his situation, because of how he was
and from my experience dealing with such cases, I would look into
the horizon a millimeter clearer instead of
kilometers of fog at least at ten
weeks of treatment with psychotropic drugs that
I sent it to him. He told me that I didn't understand it because
I have never gone through that, but I did what everyone else
the madmen in the world. Medicating and sitting down
wait to see if my experiment had worked,
That reproach gave me the opportunity to tell him that I didn't
not only as a psychiatrist, but also as a person,
I understood what it was like to go through a disorder
mood. I told him that I myself suffered from
a major, severe, deep depressive picture,
that he barely slept, that he barely ate and that
For that reason I lost weight alarmingly.
and that my twin brother had to sit next to me
side to force me to eat even a few
how many spoonfuls. I told him that in that
time the psychotropic drugs that I had
sent the psychiatrist to whom I took him,
apparently had no effect on
to be able to perform at work, then I had
that I should stop practicing my profession to
live for a long period of more than one
year, as a chronic patient, was the
fair, the right thing to do. These real-life examples,
experiential experiences that develop within
my office show that the
self-disclosure can have value
therapeutic when used continuously
and prudence. It is never about the
relief nor of the protagonism, but of
open a small window of humanity
that helps the patient or his family to
feel less alone in their pain.
It always depends on the case, the age,
of the sensitivity of the moment and the
criteria of each psychologist or psychiatrist
decide when and how to implement it.
For example, in the case of this
patient with severe dysmorphia, allow
I'd like to tell you an anecdote that I
It happened to my wife after the
birth of our first child,
Yudel. May his memory be blessed.
One day standing in front of the mirror she said to me
with his voice full of frustration and
a tear or two included.
"Benjamin, I'm going to start going to
gym. I can't stand how I look anymore."
As I understood, my wife wanted
correct a matter of appearance
as if his body were a mistake that
needed to make amends. Rebe was not taking
with postpartum depression, simply
She felt overwhelmed by the changes in
its figure. Especially, because of the width
of her hips and the thickness of her
buttocks, according to her these details and
geographical accidents made it
feel deformed and unworthy of me
Pay attention, because I didn't know her like that,
although I never mentioned anything to the
respect. Honestly, I think that
It was my mistake for her
confused things because I saw
every day how good it had been for him
established his new stage as
mom and didn't even tell her
how appetizing it was after the
I gave birth when I had thousands of
opportunities to do so. It was as if
I would take on their concepts instead of
express what I felt with
words every time I saw her
even put on makeup. And it is in that
hormonal transition period of
several weeks, a woman usually
be somewhat susceptible to
comments and attitudes of your
couple. Forget words spoken with
previousness that may not be
they repeat, but they don't want to
say no to sitting down, no one knows
live. This attitude is normal, and
Watch out here! It's normal and not a
compelling reason for mockery
ridiculing and worse for
divorces. I have handled cases with
This endocrinological setback does not
only in women who recently
have gone through the process of
childbirth, but also with those
that have ups and downs before and
during her menstruation. I
I knew from books, from
science and for the cases attended
in the consultation, however
I was also able to experience it in my
own relationship as a couple. No
I told my wife: "Don't go
because I don't give you permission." Neither
I told her. "You look perfect."
I said: Rebe, if you want to go because
you think it will make you feel good
with yourself. Because you are so
restless or more than a squirrel,
because it gives you energy even
to deal with me and my
andropause gestures and
hopelessly pissed off, then
Go ahead. Go my love, give yourself away
that time and space for
you as a woman, as the woman
that you have not stopped being
since you were born. I only give you
a piece of advice, plan well
breastfeeding schedules.
You have told me several times
that for you this right
biological is something sacred,
that you prefer to breastfeed our
son yourself and not take out your
milk with the extractor for
leave me the exact dose that
I should give it to him when you're not here
at home. But if you go because
Do you think that this way you will stop?
feel hips, because
You think that I will love you like this
even in bed. Or because
If your urge to go to the gym
is born from the pressure of
foreign concepts. From phrases
cruel of your own mind
that make you believe you have
a lot of meat for little
ember and that's why you are less
valuable to me. Then
you should check carefully
all those ideas and attitudes
because they are not guiding you
towards well-being, but
towards the anxiety of wanting
to be what is not necessary
reach. You must review
these parameters consciously
and not go. With the face
that she put me when I heard
my answer, I understood that
He thought I would tell him
something else. Then
notice their discontent
for my words. Increase
taking advantage of the fact that
our son was
finally asleep first
we were going to talk with
the frankness with which
we always tend to do it.
Direct as
an intravenous injection.
I spoke without romanticism
added because it was not
the moment. I told him
that for me
she was beautiful,
not only because of how it looked
and how good it looked on him
clothes or when
I had nothing on,
but by how it is
with herself, with me,
with everyone in everyday life
and what if what the
urged to take
the decision to go to a
gym was fear
not to be enough
not even as a mother,
then the place
where worship is performed
the body was not going to cure her,
only to tire her out more
and more generating circles
vicious and destructive.
My wife was going to argue something
or rather to protest,
but I went ahead,
I slowly put my hand on it
on the lips,
sign that he wanted
to keep quiet,
only with the intention
to tell him words
with a sexual overtone.
It was so direct,
so carnal,
so full of royal desire,
no ideal,
so much so that she
she blushed,
looked down
and for the first time in days
At last my wife smiled,
not with irony,
not with shame,
but with freedom,
with relief,
because I had told him
certain things
that I wanted to hear
since he found out
that she was pregnant,
since it began
to grow her belly
and also the breasts,
since she gave birth
and the evil ones arrived
normal after-effects
postpartum.
My wife and I
we reaffirm
our bond of intimacy
beyond insecurities,
because even if I didn't tell him
as an irreverent mantra
or vanilla cliché
that becomes
increasingly cloying,
I liked her body like that
and how was it
since there was something
in these new forms
and curves
that moved me
just by kissing them
and caress them,
because those hips
and those buttocks
were the impression
and the trail of a miracle
for which she asked
to the Creator so many times
but it was not possible
for a long time
due to her infertility
due to Obario syndrome
polycystic.
Rebbe understood
that her beauty
it was not set
in an external mold
held by my tastes
and wishes
even sexual,
but focused
in their own
everyday experience
about curves
of your body
and attitudes
from his heart.
I close the parenthesis.
With my patient
I used the method
of self-revelation.
I used some data
of memories
that I just told you.
The sensible and apt
for him
and the related
that personal story,
not only
as his psychiatrist
but as a man,
as a husband.
My patient smiled,
not much,
but he did it.
Same as my goal
It wasn't that he was laughing
until urinating.
Her slight smile
he did not discharge him.
Neither the cure
so that the ghosts
mental
that torment him
leave forever.
My goal
it was fulfilled
because he was able to recognize
a different concept,
that beauty
it is not a measure
fixed dictated
for the others,
not a single sentence
that condemns him
to feel inadequate.
I know your case is complicated,
your partner too
has contributed
with interesting comments
that have marked
your self-esteem,
making him vulnerable
to the mirror
already in his own internal words.
As he told me later,
she has reinforced
their sufferings
with comments
disguised as concern,
with comparisons,
with silences
uncomfortable
in front of certain photos,
with sighs
that he interprets
as a disappointment.
That dynamic
has led him to hate
every inch of her skin.
Let's see defects where there are features,
to feel less of a person
for not complying
with a standard
that doesn't even belong to him.
I know that the smile
that came out of his lips
with what I told him
in brief
does not mean the end of the battle,
but a first breath of relief,
a moment where he understood
that it was not necessary
ask anyone
if he was pretty or attractive,
that it was not necessary
hear it from others,
but to learn to live
without that question
define your value.
He got the point
after listening
the story I told him.
He understood that beauty
that tortures him
it's not yours,
is the one that has been imposed on him.
I made it very clear to him
that your problem
we're going to take it apart together
with therapy,
patiently,
with pain,
with psychotropic drugs
to go down little by little
anxiety and insomnia,
with laughter,
with similar stories
that do not intend to compare
nor give magic solutions,
but to remind him
that beauty
It is not an external verdict,
it is an internal experience,
a decision,
an act of rebellion
against those who want
reduce it to an image,
although he has a long way to go,
complex,
full of setbacks
and treacherous mirrors.
I know that for the first time
did not come from somewhere
looking for an answer
about his appearance.
He came out with a question
healthier,
how are you doing.
And if I start to believe myself
worthy even if you don't see me
as the rest want,
beauty is not a dictate
external nor a standard
rigid but a construction
internal that when it is distorted,
takes us away from peace.
Critical voices
in the head
often amplified
by external influences
they can sabotage,
but there are techniques on how to,
as a first step,
question them until you reject them
instead of obeying them.
My patient understood
that the comments of others,
those hurtful remarks,
those subtle comparisons
with other people,
have eroded their self-esteem
until it becomes
in a destructive pattern
of self-loathing
and that this relational factor
added layers of complexity
to your case
because he didn't just deal with
with his internal dysmorphia,
but with toxic dynamics
that reinforce the cycle.
He understood.
He didn't get over it in a jiffy.
He understood.
And this for me as a psychiatrist
It is already a step forward.
A great breakthrough.
I prescribed it for him.
Not a complete cocktail
to keep him away
of reality.
Eminem will give a solo
a tick tock,
as they usually say
my teenage patients
to psychotropic drugs
that I send to you.
I told him that in sessions
later,
we will explore the roots
of his suicide attempts
more in depth,
which we will analyze in depth
your family history,
the environment in which he grew up
under the shadow of a father
perfectionist who valued
success through image,
that we will break down patterns
distorted cognitive
through cognitive therapy
behavioral
and we will work on techniques
of mindfulness to reconnect
with her body without judgment,
which we will also incorporate
exposure exercises
gradual to mirrors and photographs
along with discussions
on redefining beauty
as something holistic.
For me,
It is important to explain to them
to my patients and their families
the therapeutic plan
that we designed together
because I want them to be
1,000% involved
to see results,
not in record time,
because I never promise anything
I don't even give approximate dates
of healing,
but that everything develops
at the right time
because each case is a point
and apart.
He asked me if he could
bring your partner
next week
that we will see each other to adjust
the doses of the two
psychotropic drugs
that I prescribed for him.
I answered him that
after some
consultations alone with him
I could bring it
because I would like to
meet her,
not like another patient of mine,
but as a piece
within the circle of
caregivers
with mental illnesses,
that it will not be to judge her
nor to reveal to him
that he told me
attitudes
that she had
towards him,
but to know her,
to be encouraged
empathy and communication
between both,
because this will help you
much to mitigate
those destructive comments.
But I also clarified to him
that in case she
I would not like to accept
accompany him,
to stop insisting on that
and continue along the path
just because he only looked for
help through the
internal medicine specialty.
Your path to
full recovery
requires a commitment
continuous and even signed.
However,
one more time,
I can see and check
like psychiatry
not only treats symptoms,
but rather rebuilds
personal narratives
to restore
inherent dignity
of each individual.
At another time
I'll tell you about
from the dysmorphia clinic.
Now I want to focus
in something else
away from technicalities.
The beauty,
since its origins,
It has been a construction
human more than one
absolute truth.
Born in the gaze
of those who observed
the world
and they sought order,
harmony,
proportion,
perhaps as an attempt
to domesticate
the inherent chaos
into existence.
In the first civilizations
the beautiful used to
connect with the divine,
what pleased the gods,
what it reflected
cosmic balance,
what it symbolized
fertility or power,
it was not an aesthetic whim
but a sign
of a moral order,
of social health,
of spiritual blessing.
Over time
beauty became
more human,
more earthly,
the Greeks measured it
with numbers believing
that perfection
resided in proportions
mathematics.
The Renaissance
they painted it with light and shadow
searching the human body
a reflection of the soul.
But even in those moments
of apparent objectivity
the beauty continued
being a distorting mirror.
It reflected more the anxieties,
ideals and hierarchies
of each era
than a universal essence.
In the 20th century
beauty began to fragment.
He was no longer alone
what pleased the eye
but also what challenged,
what disturbed,
what broke canons,
art, fashion,
advertising
and then social networks
they turned beauty
on a symbolic battlefield.
Who decides what is beautiful?
Why does beauty hurt so often?
And why does beauty become an obligation?
From the perspective of psychiatry
beauty operates as an emotional anchor.
The human being seeks beauty
not only for sensory pleasure
but for safety,
by belonging,
for validation.
Beauty calms anxiety
if it is not enough
but it also feeds it.
When beauty becomes an unattainable standard
becomes a source of anguish,
of guilt,
of pathological self-demand,
many come to the office
not because they are not beautiful
but because they believe they are not enough
and that belief is more than an aesthetic judgment
It is a narcissistic wound.
An echo of ancient rejections
from other people's glances
turned into internal truths.
Today beauty is more plural than ever.
and at the same time more oppressive.
Diversity is celebrated
but the exception is monetized,
there is talk of inclusion
but imperfection is punished.
The evolution of the concept
It has not been entirely linear or liberating,
it has been a back and forth
between the sublime and the commercial,
between the authentic and the performative.
The funny thing is that deep down
what people are looking for
when pursuing beauty,
on his face,
in your body,
in its environment,
It is not so much pleasing
an external standard
but to feel worthy of love,
of attention,
of permanence.
Beauty in its most human essence
It is still an affective language,
a way of saying
Here I am and I deserve to be seen.
The problem is believing
that without beauty there is no such thing as
nor is it complete
and that is more than an aesthetic issue
it is a wound of the soul
that asks to be heard.
Beauty in its rawest and most digital version
has become
in a kind of religion without a temple
but with altars on every screen,
what was once admired
on catwalks or magazine covers
today it is consumed in seconds.
Edited, leaked,
retouched to the point
of no longer having skin,
no pores,
no expression lines due to age,
no stains,
in acne,
no shadows,
nor humanity
and that seen from the office chair
It is not just an aesthetic trend,
It is a psychological phenomenon
that has penetrated so deeply
that many no longer know
where reality ends
and where the manufactured begins.
Many stories
have gone through my patient lists,
teenagers crying in front of the mirror
because his nose doesn't look like a filter.
Women who refuse to go out without makeup
because they feel they do not exist without him.
The vigorexia that yearns for muscles
that only exist in editing applications.
Men who obsess over size
and the thickness of their penises
sometimes not even to give pleasure coy such,
but only as a personal achievement.
These symptoms are not vanity,
They are not a simple whim,
This is a serious cognitive distortion
powered by algorithms
who advertise what is deceptive,
that reward the impossible
and punish the natural.
Technology not only accelerated the image,
It also accelerated self-criticism,
the comparison,
the demand
and he did it with a pixelated smile,
with a like that became emotional oxygen.
The most painful thing is not the desire to look good
since that is human,
es ancestral,
but the loss of one's own image,
There are those who no longer recognize
their infiltrated faces,
those who delete their photos
If they don't have the perfect angle,
those who undergo surgery
not to feel better,
but to look like an avatar
that isn't even real.
Beauty became an unattainable goal
and in the attempt to reach it
many left their identity behind,
your self-esteem,
their mental and even sexual health.
In the office I have heard phrases like
I'm not enough like this,
everyone looks better than me,
if I don't look perfect
at least no one is going to love me.
And behind those words,
there is a deeper wound.
The belief that personal worth
is tied to appearance,
social networks with their logic
of instant perfection,
have turned beauty
in social exchange currency,
as a requirement to be accepted,
loved, validated.
And that seen from the perspective of psychiatry
it is very dangerous
because when the self-image
it is built from the outside
becomes fragile,
dependent, addictive,
but of course there is hope.
Amidst so much digital noise
more and more voices,
of patients,
of mothers,
of young people,
begin to question those standards,
to uninstall applications
that hurt them,
to look at each other without filters
even naked in front of the mirror,
to embrace their imperfections
as acts of resistance
because the real cure
It's not about changing the body
but in rewriting the narrative.
As my dad often says,
true beauty does not project,
inhabits.
The more people understand it, the healthier they will be.
will be the generations to come.
Technology doesn't have to be the enemy,
in fact it is not,
the problem appears
when he becomes a judge.
In executioner,
into a role model.
Beauty in its essence
It was never a still image,
It always was and always will be a reflection of the soul.
And no filter can imitate that.
Beauty when it becomes an obsession,
It ceases to be beauty and becomes a prison.
But when understood as an internal reflection,
not as a facade to the world,
It transforms into something much deeper,
more durable, more humane.
It's not about ignoring the body
nor to deny the desire to look good,
but to relocate the center,
not outside,
in the eyes of others
or in the fleeting canons but inside,
in the intimate relationship that each person builds with himself.
That is measured beauty,
the one who does not scream,
the one who does not compete,
the one that does not need validation
because she has already validated herself.
In the consultation,
After years of hearing stories marked by guilt,
the comparison,
self-rejection,
What is most repeated is not the desire to change the body
but the desire to stop suffering for him
and the cure because yes.
This is also cured,
is not in for more surgeries,
more filters,
more extreme diets.
It's about learning to look at yourself with tenderness,
in recognizing that value is not measured in centimeters,
in skin tones,
in the absence of wrinkles,
It is about understanding that taking care of yourself is not punishing yourself,
that beautifying oneself is not erasing oneself,
that loving oneself is not idolizing oneself,
because loving yourself is not narcissism,
narcissism is fragile,
dependent on external applause,
Self-love, on the other hand, is flexible,
silent because he doesn't need to prove anything,
feeds on small acts,
rest when the body asks for it,
eat with pleasure without guilt,
move for joy and not for punishment,
say no to what hurts,
yes to what nourishes,
is knowing that one is more than one's appearance
without denying that appearance also matters
but not as an end,
but as a part.
And that esteem,
The one that is born from within is not pride,
pride defends itself,
inflates,
fear of being discovered,
True esteem has no fear
because it is not built on superiority,
but about acceptance,
You don't say I'm better than others,
You say I am enough just as I am and that is enough for me,
does not reject improvement but chooses it out of love,
not from contempt and obligation,
dresses well not to impress,
but because she likes to feel comfortable,
She puts on makeup not to hide but to play,
to celebrate,
to feel alive.
Owning one's own beauty is a psychic obligation
because without that root any external ideal becomes a storm,
Without that anchor the person falls apart
to the first comment on the unretouched photo
and from the first implacable mirror,
But with her even the gray days have their own light
because who values ​​himself does not depend on being perfect
to feel valuable,
knows that its value is not negotiable,
They are not discounted, they are not given away, they are not on sale,
and so,
That is revolutionary, especially in a social system.
that sells dissatisfaction as a driving force,
Choosing peace with oneself is an act of healthy rebellion,
It is not conformism,
is clarity,
It is not surrender,
it is victory,
the quietest,
the deepest,
the one that no one can take away because it is built brick by brick,
look look,
breath by breath,
the beauty that is born from respect,
of care,
Love without exaggeration does not go out of fashion because it is not fashionable,
is essence.
In psychiatry the word beauty is rarely said out loud as such,
but it is there,
hidden behind the silences,
after the tears that fall on a pillow,
after the fasts that are justified as discipline,
after the surgeries that are repeated as rituals of redemption,
Misunderstood beauty becomes a symptom
and often at the heart of a definitive diagnosis,
as in the case of my patient.
This is not just an aesthetic issue,
It is a matter of the soul that has been worn down under the pressure of an ideal that never arrives,
that always moves,
that always demands more.
Disorders such as body dysmorphic disorder,
They are born from that gap between what is seen and what is believed to be seen,
a nose that isn't that big,
a body that is not so wide,
a skin that doesn't have so many imperfections but that in the mind are magnified until they become monsters,
and it is not vanity,
It is torture because the person who suffers from it does not feel vain,
feels ugly, defective,
unacceptable,
and that conviction when everything is disconnected inside,
It can hurt more than any external criticism.
Then there is anorexia nervosa where beauty is confused with extreme thinness,
and this one with the control,
It's not about looking pretty, but about feeling that at least in your body you can control something in a world that seems to be overflowing.
Bulimia, on the other hand, carries the guilt of pleasure,
with punishment after desire,
with the cycle of shame that repeats itself like an echo,
eat, binge, purge, hate yourself,
repeat,
and in both cases the body image is so distorted that even though the mirror shows bones the mind
keep seeing fat, excess, failure,
but there are also depressions dressed up as aesthetic dissatisfaction,
anxieties disguised as an obsession with complexion,
by the hair, by the size,
Social phobias that are justified by saying I don't go out because I don't look good when in truth they don't go out because the world seems too hostile,
judging and great,
and there are addictions to surgeries,
to filters,
to comparisons that feed a cracked self-esteem as if every physical change could repair an emotional void,
but the void is not filled with scalpels,
is filled with understanding of body and mind,
with validation.
The saddest thing is that many of these people,
They don't come asking for help for a mental disorder,
They come saying I want to be better with my body.
And behind that what they are really saying is,
I want to stop suffering,
I want to stop hating myself,
I want to feel that I deserve to take up space in this world just as I am,
and there the work is not to correct the image but to rebuild the relationship with it,
It is not about erasing what they don't like but about teaching them to look at it without horror,
without urgency,
without war.
Psychiatry does not seek to make someone look like everyone else,
seeks that someone may be able to see themselves without pain,
fearless,
without that inner voice that says you are not enough,
It is not about denying the desire to improve,
but to set healthy limits,
to understand that the body is not a project of constant correction,
but a life partner,
an ally,
sometimes tired,
sometimes changing,
sometimes marked,
but always worthy of respect,
when that is achieved,
when the patient stops fighting his reflection and starts walking alongside it,
Something is transformed because it is no longer about beauty according to magazines,
according to the filters,
according to others,
it's about peace,
and that peace,
in silence,
noiseless,
sin poses,
It is the most authentic way,
more human,
most healing beauty that exists,
because it is not seen,
it feels,
see palpate,
is created and transformed.
This is as far as I'll go.
Thank you for joining me in this soliloquy and conversation of single words from beginning to end,
May my Creator and Sustainer allow me,
allow my wife and I to share with you a new opportunity that is not granted by life,
May the Creator embrace and bless you,
May they glimpse miracles through even things that seem ugly but actually emit light in the midst of the darkness of the world,
that they can recharge their batteries for what awaits each one in the course of daily affairs,
It was a pleasure preparing the video for you,
for you,
with you,
have a great day.
A big virtual hug,
blessings.