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Good morning, afternoon, or evening depending on where you are tuning into this channel,

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and also this video.

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Welcome to another episode of the "Mirrors and Reflections" segment.

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For those who don't know me by name, let me introduce myself. I'm Benjamin, Rebe's husband.

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the absolute owner of this virtual house, and of those she has purchased elsewhere

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with the name of RebeJumper, although he always emphasizes that we are partners within

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from his gossip emporium.

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Before continuing with the topic I will share today,

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Let me clarify something that I consider important and that I will mention at the beginning of each video.

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In case anyone hasn't seen the first one in which I explained some of my parameters

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publications related to psychiatry, because that's what I do.

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Obviously it won't be with all the explanations I gave the first time,

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But knowing that all this is due to automation due to the time factor is enough.

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What you can see and hear is a mixture of reality and virtual technology,

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because through the artificial intelligence services we have at home,

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I was able to animate my photo and then edit the looping video clip with lip syncing my voice.

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I also consider it important for you to know that the photo for the video clip to be generated in

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Seedance, it is edited because I put a certain percentage of Gaussian blur in the background.

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Nothing else, regarding the photo animation. When converting the image to video

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can vary the focus of the moving camera to some degree and be more noticeable as

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an avatar that looks like a photo with a realistic, hyper or ultra style. That depends on each person who

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write the prompt and much more than what the artificial intelligence interprets due to the

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training it has had. The final video clip delivered to us by the hard artificial intelligence

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maximum 10 seconds, although sometimes it can extend up to a minute. No longer. Now,

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Imagine extending the video for more than 30 minutes, which is usually a rule of thumb.

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podcast. Well, you will sometimes notice a break in the joints, not abrupt if you know how to edit in a

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video editing program like After Effects or another one with which they feel identified because

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They know how to use it. And of course it's like Rebe says with respect to what. Or we see ourselves with the face of Decepticons,

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or worse, with the skin of poorly made plastic dolls from Alibaba or Temu. That's why,

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As a tip, you can just listen while doing other activities.

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I am aware that where I am recording the audio, this time in my office,

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It's not a podcast studio, but I try to soundproof the final file,

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as far as I know and can with an additional program. This, to clean up a little the

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interference, cuts, interruptions, noise, static and other junk

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typical of raw sound. And with regard to language, my native language is not Spanish,

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But something similar happened to me to what happened to my brother with his wife.

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Rebe taught me to speak and understand a language that she masters,

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Although it is not his mother tongue either, because we are both fellow countrymen. It has been very difficult for me.

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learn Spanish, much more than Turkish, which I also learned with Reve and my mother-in-law.

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It became more difficult, especially in the phonation part and also because I didn't understand

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slang or certain verb conjugations. But I notice that I have polished it quite a bit and now

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I can hold a conversation, not just with my private teacher. An extra fact in

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As for languages, I don't speak much English, to say the least.

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I always have to use simultaneous translator for songs, look for translated versions of

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books, dubbing or subtitles in English-speaking films, so if any Anglicism

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I bring it up in my conversation and it is mispronounced, please excuse me, just like those Hispanics

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speakers who are listening and notice in my voice imperfections of their vernacular language

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A thousand apologies. That said, I continue. I'm writing a prose novel dedicated to a

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interracial couple that I have accompanied for four years and who just a few weeks ago

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I gave him the final discharge. The husband has a subspecialty in forensic psychiatry and together

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with his wife, an industrial psychologist. I was asked to write a story about

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both from my perspective as their psychiatrist. This idea came as a response to a question

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I asked them: "What can I do as a farewell act for you? Something that goes

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beyond signing and sealing their medical records, which, although archived from today,

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will never leave my memory, when I hear the words and clinical stories." My friend

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He made his request with the same frankness that I had shown with both of them throughout

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her complex treatment. That day, when I got home, Rebe asked me how I had done

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in the office because she noticed I was pensive when I greeted her. I told her about the story

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that I had to start creating, that I had promised that married couple to write them

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without even setting a tentative delivery date. I'm not like Rebe.

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She is passionate about creating everything from Haikus to dense novels while I like to read them.

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or give them a critical opinion, although not as critical as my dad. Or worse, like my brother Ezequiel.

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I read your drafts like a psychiatrist, but with the love of a husband. I do, however, point out the truth.

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with foundations because if there is unnecessary flattery or flattery that is out of place, my wife notices it.

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In a matter of seconds. My dad reads his daughter-in-law's writings with pure father-in-law love.

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but using PARDES exegesis and psychology to examine even the smallest detail.

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My twin brother, on the other hand, is a different story. Look, he may love my wife a lot.

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and indulge her in everything. However, when he judges her writings he analyzes them with precision

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Surgical. As if each word were an organ to be studied before understanding

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its final anatomy and physiology. It seems like an editorial people. "Benjamin. Don't write a

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thesis. Set aside your physiological touch and look for a catalyst. Something that awakens your inner self.

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creative who is always asleep". My wife told me, passing me her cream-covered finger.

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mounted by the nose because just when I got to greet her she was decorating a cake.

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I asked him how to build an outline for a long story because it wasn't his

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unknown that I had barely written informal short stories of a single chapter

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and that. Because of challenges and invitations from some users on another social network. But writing

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A prose novel was another level, especially since it was aimed at a couple who read.

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Analytical. Accustomed to precise diagnoses and dissecting every detail of the

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reality. This time. From your perspective, through my psychiatric and therapeutic lens.

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I confessed to my wife that she combines map and compass writing and knows how to get there.

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to the treasure located in the Mariana Trench in two days. However, I won't be able to reach it.

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nor to the garden of the house in centuries with my knowledge of literary creation. He just laughed and told me no

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will enter into a crisis of old grumpiness. Since he would help me anyway not only because in truth

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It seemed like an interesting project to him and because he felt like giving me a helping hand because with

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the left was enough for mine. I thought of the word catalysts. I've used so many with Rebe,

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with my children, with my family, with my patients and with myself, who didn't know which to choose.

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But after all, music became the catalyst that allowed me to write

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more than fifty pages so far after creating the outline together with the expert.

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Who kept his promise as long as his fees were punctual and high enough.

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What defines the spirit of the emprosa novel I am writing is not known.

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based not on the title but on the beauty that transcends. Not the one that is delayed or fades.

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Gibran Khalil Gibran, Lebanese novelist, painter and essayist whose works are never missing from my library.

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He wrote in the book The Prophet, in the chapter called about beauty, a poem alluding to this

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adjective. And every time I read it I learn a new concept, like loose threads in an embroidery

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are forming a compact work. Listen.

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I transcribed the Arabic fragment you just heard. Beauty is not a necessity but an ecstasy.

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It is not a thirsty mouth nor an empty hand but a burning heart and a captivated soul.

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It is not the image you wish to see nor the song you long to hear, but the image you see

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even if you close your eyes and the song you hear even if you cover your ears.

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Beauty is life when it reveals its pure face, but you are life and you are the veil.

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Beauty is eternity looking in a mirror but you are eternity and you are

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the mirror.

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It's a beautiful fragment.

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Redundancy is appropriate,

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beautiful. It represents beauty very well, not only as a literary expression.

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According to sight, situations, environment, brain perceptions and taste.

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Every human being determines what he or she finds beautiful and what he or she doesn't.

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what deserves to be kept in memory and what should be buried in oblivion.

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And although this is normal and inherent in X, you have to pay attention to it because certain

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Mental disorders generate distortions. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations

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incomprehensible between yes and no, where we must decide with certainty.

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We enter into dilemmas, dichotomies, internal fights with our self but we must

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establish a definitive resolution, one that becomes unbreakable.

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This refers to the fact that if our decision-making capacity is not affected,

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We must choose the right path to improve because otherwise, in the area of

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mental health and psychiatry for example.

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The consultation. Diagnosis and treatment with psychotropic drugs would be pointless.

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When my patients or their families nod positively to what I say.

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Not by going along with it, but with truth and commitment to themselves.

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I always remember the words of the Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges in his book

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Published in 1998, Personal Library, Prologues. Listen.

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"Then occurs the singular emotion called beauty.

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That beautiful mystery that neither psychology nor rhetoric can decipher."

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For me, not only as a psychiatrist, individual life intertwined with emotions and environment,

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with all its layers of simplicity and complexity. It is a beauty in itself.

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I made this introduction with reference to the adjective of beauty for a reason,

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valid because you will better understand what I want to tell you next.

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In the morning a young man in his thirties was answering the call, and when I called his name he came in and closed the door.

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He walked with his shoulders drooping, tired, with his gaze shifty,

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as if the floor were safer than any face I could find.

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I asked him to sit down, he took a deep breath. He handed me a signed reference from

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of internal medicine and after greeting and I answering, I asked him if he knew that I

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He was a psychiatrist, and he knew what it meant to come to my office.

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A brief but important aside. These questions may seem silly and irrelevant.

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However, for me they have great value even within therapeutic parameters.

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formulas whenever I have new patients, whether I tell them directly or to their

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relatives. I don't do it because I want to assess how much they know about psychiatry as if they were

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university students, but because many times there are people who are referred to me

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office from other specialties, with sealed envelopes, with presumptive diagnoses

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of mental disorders that need immediate attention when they don't. And the worst thing is that

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Patients are not notified about the fact that they will be speaking to a psychiatrist and that sometimes

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It upsets them, it disappoints them, it stresses them out, it makes them more defensive. It has happened to me thousands of times.

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Sometimes. Patients and their families don't even know they're talking to a psychiatrist,

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especially when they ask: "Doctor, where is the stretcher for

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lie down and start the examination?" That is, I auscultate, I examine, but in a mental way,

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and psychiatry is the specialty where the body is not touched, but rather it is

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observe and listen to behaviors and patterns. I also ask the questions when although

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There is no formal referral signed by another doctor, some people suspect that

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They need the help of a psychiatrist, since what they need is to be heard and

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oriented but not medicated. Since they confuse the fact of being sad for a short period of time

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day, with a major depressive disorder or a bipolar spectrum disorder. Or also when

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They confuse the omission of closing the door or forgetting a key in another wallet or other

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a piece of clothing with amnesia or even Alzheimer's. Or when now, as a social media trend

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social, where self-diagnosis and empirical diagnosis abound everywhere.

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Some people claim that their children have a type of mental illness that makes them

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geniuses, hyperactive, surly and innate artists, referring to the deficit disorder

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attention, or one of the spectrums of autism, as is the case of Asperger's. It is

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that Dr. Facebook, X, Instagram, Telegram, TikTok and the whole gang, has a motto

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already normalized and romanticized to the point of boredom and satiety: Every "restless" child, this

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adjective in quotation marks, has ADHD. When what they actually present after analyzing

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The cases are millions of needles in the butt. I say this not only to put it in history

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clinical the definitive diagnosis of a patient with ADHD, I perform all the pertinent analyses

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that are recommended in symposia, updates, conferences and even in the DSM-5, but because

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I have three young children. None of them have crossed the four-year barrier yet,

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girl and a pair of male twins, and how restless and intense they can get

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in everyday life without this turning them into victims of carrying such a heavy load

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as is ADHD. As a parent, as an individual who has his or her own criteria, and also

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As a psychiatrist, I can say that this neuropsychiatric disorder is real. They have transformed it,

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not in a mental illness but in something commercial that goes beyond the spectacle even of the

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fame, because now even artists and criminals claim to have it. They have transformed it into a

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voluntary decision of the individual that should not be seen as an illness, that should not be

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be treated not even by a psychologist and less by a psychiatrist, but one must live

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with freedom. This kind of ignorance causes distant metastases. You have no idea how many

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slaps are given to the families of patients who really suffer from ADHD, and others

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disorders that have also begun to be idealized, romanticized, and generalized on social networks

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informal. I close the parenthesis. When this young man told me that he knew I was a psychiatrist,

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and that my job was to heal the mind through listening and then make a diagnosis

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and prescribe psychotropic drugs, I asked him what was the reason for his consultation, what

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could help him. Although reading the internal medicine report it said that he has presented,

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with the recent, just a month ago, three failed suicide attempts.

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And he threw one of his open and infected wounds, disguised as a question, a doubt that resonated

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in the air with the desperation of someone seeking external and extreme validation

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fill an internal void: "Doctor, do you think I'm an attractive person? Pretty."

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This young professional and apparently successful in his career, married for four years,

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He was carrying an emotional burden that had led him to isolate himself socially.

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avoiding mirrors and photographs, constantly questioning their value

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staff based on aesthetic and real standards. That question was not a coincidence.

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It was a cry for help disguised as curiosity. It revealed the fragility of her

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self-image and how it depended on opinions other than her own to feel minimally acceptable.

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At that moment his expression was a mixture of hope and fear, as if my answer as

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psychiatrist could be the final verdict on his existence. His tone when asking,

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His attitude itself made me suspect a severe body dysmorphic disorder,

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anchored to a distorted perception of beauty that consumed him from within.

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He was in his right mind. Sane. Aware of his situation, but his insides were

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totally disconnected from his reality as a person, as a man, as a husband, as a human being.

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In short, he was divorced from his surroundings. His questioning gave me the clue that

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It was not something superficial, but rather cyclical manifestations of acute anxiety

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due to certain repetitive nervous tics that I observed. Insomnia reflected in his dark circles

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and a very low self-esteem that interferes, according to what he was telling me,

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in their interpersonal relationships, including work and even sexual relationships.

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Let's see. I want to make something clear here. As a mental health professional,

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I am governed by strict ethical principles and standards of the doctor-patient relationship

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that prioritize honesty to clarify doubts, to foster growth. But also

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demand firm limits on comments and actions both within the consultation and

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outside of it. It's not just about avoiding misunderstandings, but also about preserving neutrality.

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therapeutic. I cannot become a source of flattery that feeds emotional dependencies.

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Giving him an answer of that caliber, affirmative or negative, would have been

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counterproductive by reinforcing your approval-seeking cycle, rather than helping to dismantle it

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so that she can truly begin to heal. It wasn't about playing judge of her appearance,

210
00:17:08.210 --> 00:17:12.330
but to accompany him in a process where limits and clarity are so important

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as listening. As a psychiatrist, I have learned that ethical-medical laws

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They even go beyond established recommendations because they do not intersect. This.

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Not out of coldness, but out of respect, out of the responsibility that must be reflected

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towards patients and their families. I can't answer someone something that I don't

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You need to listen, even if the person wants you to tell them without filters,

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but what you need to understand. To understand why it hurts so much not to feel well,

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as if it were a color that doesn't fit in a painting, or it wasn't the missing piece in the

218
00:17:43.530 --> 00:17:48.430
puzzle. In this particular case, my patient needed to understand why his

219
00:17:48.430 --> 00:17:52.910
self-esteem hangs on a string that other people have stretched too thin. Why is your

220
00:17:52.910 --> 00:17:57.030
value as a person, has been reduced to an aesthetic judgment that not even he himself

221
00:17:57.030 --> 00:18:01.910
can control at this point, not when he has tried to commit suicide three times. So

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that instead of answering with a yes or a no, which would have been the case anyway

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insufficient and even dangerous. I played the psychiatric. Here's another parenthesis

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which I think is important before continuing with the case. In the area of

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mental health there is a procedure known as

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Self-disclosure. It consists of telling intentionally and consciously, on the part of

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from the psychologist or psychiatrist, personal aspects of his life such as

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experiences, feelings, thoughts or anecdotes, in order to strengthen

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therapy, normalize the patient's emotions, encourage empathy or model

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healthy behaviors. This practice within pure psychoanalysis usually

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be discouraged for fear of altering the focus of attention on the patient or violating the

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neutrality of the therapist. However, in sessions with humanistic, warm touches

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and relational is considered useful if used in moderation, with calibration

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as long as the benefit of a person seeking help is prioritized

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your mental health problem. You can share a brief similar experience

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to the person who is heard in the consultation to reduce the stigma or

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lower the tension without giving hope or completely turning away

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to professional therapeutic advice and care, because the first is

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based on the empirical and the second, based on science, on treaties

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of medicine. It is a procedure similar to that used in the rapport process

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00:19:22.690 --> 00:19:26.070
because it leads a patient towards introspection, through a

242
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A relatable personal anecdote. Not just anything can be told, but something

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that serves as a mirror for your own mental patterns without invading your

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space, without making comparisons or using exhibitionism, which has no

245
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no sense and rather hinders the fluidity of the answers.

246
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Self-revelation must always tell one of those stories that are kept

247
00:19:45.250 --> 00:19:49.350
in the mental first aid box, they are not used to show off but to

248
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empathize with the atmosphere of the office. They are like Chiehoff's weapons to

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some of the patients and even their families.

250
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Self-disclosure is not a universal technique, but it is a

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strategic tool. Self-disclosure in the consultation depends as much on the

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context as well as the reception that the patient or his/her family receives. No

253
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It is always possible to use it because in some cases a personal story can

254
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be uncomfortable or out of place. That's why I believe this technique should

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be handled through two main routes. The first is when after

256
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To perceive the need, the patient is asked if he or she wishes to hear a

257
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experience similar to what you are going through. The goal is not to put yourself

258
00:20:26.630 --> 00:20:30.310
as an example or minimize your distress, but offer you a framework

259
00:20:30.310 --> 00:20:33.950
understanding that allows you to feel accompanied and understand that you are not the

260
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only person who goes through that situation. For something inside

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00:20:37.390 --> 00:20:41.390
treatment, you are suggested to visit support groups. The second arises

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00:20:41.390 --> 00:20:45.030
based on the patient's own questions, often formulated in a

263
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subtle way. As happened to me in the consultation with someone who suffers from

264
00:20:48.190 --> 00:20:50.970
body dysmorphia when he didn't ask me for explanations about

265
00:20:50.970 --> 00:20:56.610
psychiatry, but a direct judgment on their physical appearance. In

266
00:20:56.610 --> 00:21:00.010
another, revelation can become a bridge, a door to

267
00:21:00.010 --> 00:21:03.330
trust. I have experienced similar situations on numerous occasions.

268
00:21:03.330 --> 00:21:06.810
occasions, both with patients and their families. For

269
00:21:06.810 --> 00:21:10.430
cite four clear examples. A woman in pathological mourning for the

270
00:21:10.430 --> 00:21:14.090
death of his son asked me if I had children and then if I had

271
00:21:14.090 --> 00:21:17.510
lost any. I was not looking for science or theory, but a

272
00:21:17.510 --> 00:21:21.370
human experience. I replied that yes, I had three, but

273
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that years ago, before they came into my life

274
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My wife and I had lost one, when he was still very

275
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small. Something similar happened to a woman who suffered from syndrome

276
00:21:31.210 --> 00:21:35.170
premenstrual dysphoric. She claimed that I couldn't understand her, that

277
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I was just trying to medicate her like others had done before.

278
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specialists. I explained to him that although I was not a woman to

279
00:21:40.530 --> 00:21:43.510
experience firsthand their physical and psychological discomfort

280
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During the period, I could understand it from experience

281
00:21:46.490 --> 00:21:49.490
close because I had accompanied my wife in episodes of

282
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intense suffering during her menstruation and knew what

283
00:21:52.750 --> 00:21:55.270
devastating that could be to see someone you love

284
00:21:55.270 --> 00:21:58.630
to go through a process like that, even though I knew that in part it was something

285
00:21:58.630 --> 00:22:02.070
natural. Another case where a father with bipolar disorder

286
00:22:02.070 --> 00:22:05.590
received a lawsuit from his wife, because he in

287
00:22:05.590 --> 00:22:09.070
his manic episode, almost killed his six-year-old daughter because

288
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He mistook correctness for aggression. He was

289
00:22:12.010 --> 00:22:15.070
repentant. He knew about his diagnosed condition

290
00:22:15.070 --> 00:22:17.950
since youth. I knew I had to take on the order of

291
00:22:17.950 --> 00:22:20.650
distance that his wife imposed on him with good reason,

292
00:22:20.650 --> 00:22:23.730
but he wanted me as his new psychiatrist to intercede for him

293
00:22:23.730 --> 00:22:27.090
He, assuring his wife that such an event would not happen again.

294
00:22:27.510 --> 00:22:30.110
I did not refuse to talk to his wife, but not to

295
00:22:30.110 --> 00:22:33.130
assure him that the episode of aggression would not happen again

296
00:22:33.130 --> 00:22:35.890
happen. I told him that nothing assures him that only

297
00:22:35.890 --> 00:22:38.570
Because your daughter becomes very restless, do not send her again.

298
00:22:38.570 --> 00:22:41.630
to the emergency room. Then his question arose:

299
00:22:41.990 --> 00:22:44.610
"Doctor, what do you do when you correct your children?"

300
00:22:45.150 --> 00:22:48.190
And I told him my personal experience, not as a psychiatrist,

301
00:22:48.190 --> 00:22:51.370
but as a dad. How did you sometimes deal with the behavior

302
00:22:51.370 --> 00:22:53.970
naughty and curious of my three children when they get loose?

303
00:22:54.410 --> 00:22:57.590
How do I fix them? How do I tighten their nuts without putting them in trouble?

304
00:22:57.590 --> 00:23:00.470
a finger on them and not even raise your voice and less

305
00:23:00.470 --> 00:23:03.630
speak to them with bad words, being that I am a person who

306
00:23:03.630 --> 00:23:06.310
Yes, he usually uses bad language when he is a lot

307
00:23:06.310 --> 00:23:09.030
more than just annoying? Without generating comparisons.

308
00:23:09.430 --> 00:23:11.910
I told him that he must understand that although we are both parents,

309
00:23:12.290 --> 00:23:15.070
My case is not like yours because I, although

310
00:23:15.070 --> 00:23:17.990
I let my anger overflow on purpose and they look for the

311
00:23:17.990 --> 00:23:21.050
darker and less kind side, because as long as I have life

312
00:23:21.050 --> 00:23:24.230
I will never be willing to tolerate anyone laying a finger on him.

313
00:23:24.230 --> 00:23:27.670
to my wife and worse my hand, nor to my children, to my

314
00:23:27.670 --> 00:23:31.090
nephews, and all my family ties. I do not suffer from

315
00:23:31.090 --> 00:23:34.210
a spectrum of bipolarity and not of any degree of it

316
00:23:34.210 --> 00:23:36.470
intermittent explosive disorder that has to

317
00:23:36.470 --> 00:23:39.830
control with psychotropic drugs. I also remember the brother

318
00:23:39.830 --> 00:23:42.170
from a patient who angrily complained to me

319
00:23:42.170 --> 00:23:44.490
why his relative did not improve, why his

320
00:23:44.490 --> 00:23:46.910
family sadness did not go away despite the

321
00:23:46.910 --> 00:23:49.750
medication adjustments. Why couldn't I have even

322
00:23:49.750 --> 00:23:52.830
even sex like before? I clarify that my patient barely

323
00:23:52.830 --> 00:23:55.530
He had been diagnosed for a week when he

324
00:23:55.530 --> 00:23:58.210
a case, not of sadness, but of a disorder of the

325
00:23:58.210 --> 00:24:00.830
complicated mood with another condition

326
00:24:00.830 --> 00:24:04.110
of organic type, as a rule, slight improvement

327
00:24:04.110 --> 00:24:06.350
begins to appear after four weeks of

328
00:24:06.350 --> 00:24:09.690
treatment. But because of his situation, because of how he was

329
00:24:09.690 --> 00:24:13.150
and from my experience dealing with such cases, I would look into

330
00:24:13.150 --> 00:24:15.470
the horizon a millimeter clearer instead of

331
00:24:15.470 --> 00:24:17.510
kilometers of fog at least at ten

332
00:24:17.510 --> 00:24:19.790
weeks of treatment with psychotropic drugs that

333
00:24:19.790 --> 00:24:22.150
I sent it to him. He told me that I didn't understand it because

334
00:24:22.150 --> 00:24:24.870
I have never gone through that, but I did what everyone else

335
00:24:24.870 --> 00:24:27.630
the madmen in the world. Medicating and sitting down

336
00:24:27.630 --> 00:24:30.010
wait to see if my experiment had worked,

337
00:24:30.550 --> 00:24:32.770
That reproach gave me the opportunity to tell him that I didn't

338
00:24:32.770 --> 00:24:35.470
not only as a psychiatrist, but also as a person,

339
00:24:35.910 --> 00:24:38.150
I understood what it was like to go through a disorder

340
00:24:38.150 --> 00:24:40.930
mood. I told him that I myself suffered from

341
00:24:40.930 --> 00:24:44.090
a major, severe, deep depressive picture,

342
00:24:44.090 --> 00:24:47.190
that he barely slept, that he barely ate and that

343
00:24:47.190 --> 00:24:49.550
For that reason I lost weight alarmingly.

344
00:24:49.550 --> 00:24:51.950
and that my twin brother had to sit next to me

345
00:24:51.950 --> 00:24:53.930
side to force me to eat even a few

346
00:24:53.930 --> 00:24:56.070
how many spoonfuls. I told him that in that

347
00:24:56.070 --> 00:24:57.750
time the psychotropic drugs that I had

348
00:24:57.750 --> 00:24:59.470
sent the psychiatrist to whom I took him,

349
00:25:00.070 --> 00:25:01.770
apparently had no effect on

350
00:25:01.770 --> 00:25:04.310
to be able to perform at work, then I had

351
00:25:04.310 --> 00:25:06.050
that I should stop practicing my profession to

352
00:25:06.050 --> 00:25:07.890
live for a long period of more than one

353
00:25:07.890 --> 00:25:10.570
year, as a chronic patient, was the

354
00:25:10.570 --> 00:25:13.710
fair, the right thing to do. These real-life examples,

355
00:25:13.710 --> 00:25:15.770
experiential experiences that develop within

356
00:25:15.770 --> 00:25:17.210
my office show that the

357
00:25:17.210 --> 00:25:18.870
self-disclosure can have value

358
00:25:18.870 --> 00:25:20.970
therapeutic when used continuously

359
00:25:20.970 --> 00:25:22.990
and prudence. It is never about the

360
00:25:22.990 --> 00:25:25.230
relief nor of the protagonism, but of

361
00:25:25.230 --> 00:25:27.070
open a small window of humanity

362
00:25:27.070 --> 00:25:29.250
that helps the patient or his family to

363
00:25:29.250 --> 00:25:30.850
feel less alone in their pain.

364
00:25:31.130 --> 00:25:33.230
It always depends on the case, the age,

365
00:25:33.550 --> 00:25:35.230
of the sensitivity of the moment and the

366
00:25:35.230 --> 00:25:37.090
criteria of each psychologist or psychiatrist

367
00:25:37.090 --> 00:25:38.990
decide when and how to implement it.

368
00:25:39.590 --> 00:25:41.410
For example, in the case of this

369
00:25:41.410 --> 00:25:43.850
patient with severe dysmorphia, allow

370
00:25:43.850 --> 00:25:45.350
I'd like to tell you an anecdote that I

371
00:25:45.350 --> 00:25:46.970
It happened to my wife after the

372
00:25:46.970 --> 00:25:48.990
birth of our first child,

373
00:25:48.990 --> 00:25:51.070
Yudel. May his memory be blessed.

374
00:25:51.830 --> 00:25:53.670
One day standing in front of the mirror she said to me

375
00:25:53.670 --> 00:25:55.910
with his voice full of frustration and

376
00:25:55.910 --> 00:25:57.410
a tear or two included.

377
00:25:57.830 --> 00:25:59.550
"Benjamin, I'm going to start going to

378
00:25:59.550 --> 00:26:01.850
gym. I can't stand how I look anymore."

379
00:26:02.170 --> 00:26:04.050
As I understood, my wife wanted

380
00:26:04.050 --> 00:26:05.690
correct a matter of appearance

381
00:26:05.690 --> 00:26:07.410
as if his body were a mistake that

382
00:26:07.410 --> 00:26:09.870
needed to make amends. Rebe was not taking

383
00:26:09.870 --> 00:26:11.790
with postpartum depression, simply

384
00:26:11.790 --> 00:26:13.830
She felt overwhelmed by the changes in

385
00:26:13.830 --> 00:26:16.410
its figure. Especially, because of the width

386
00:26:16.410 --> 00:26:17.990
of her hips and the thickness of her

387
00:26:17.990 --> 00:26:20.130
buttocks, according to her these details and

388
00:26:20.130 --> 00:26:21.730
geographical accidents made it

389
00:26:21.730 --> 00:26:23.390
feel deformed and unworthy of me

390
00:26:23.390 --> 00:26:25.530
Pay attention, because I didn't know her like that,

391
00:26:25.910 --> 00:26:27.270
although I never mentioned anything to the

392
00:26:27.270 --> 00:26:29.970
respect. Honestly, I think that

393
00:26:29.970 --> 00:26:31.090
It was my mistake for her

394
00:26:31.090 --> 00:26:33.030
confused things because I saw

395
00:26:33.030 --> 00:26:34.330
every day how good it had been for him

396
00:26:34.330 --> 00:26:35.750
established his new stage as

397
00:26:35.750 --> 00:26:37.650
mom and didn't even tell her

398
00:26:37.650 --> 00:26:39.210
how appetizing it was after the

399
00:26:39.210 --> 00:26:40.510
I gave birth when I had thousands of

400
00:26:40.510 --> 00:26:42.550
opportunities to do so. It was as if

401
00:26:42.550 --> 00:26:44.350
I would take on their concepts instead of

402
00:26:44.350 --> 00:26:45.790
express what I felt with

403
00:26:45.790 --> 00:26:47.210
words every time I saw her

404
00:26:47.210 --> 00:26:49.190
even put on makeup. And it is in that

405
00:26:49.190 --> 00:26:50.850
hormonal transition period of

406
00:26:50.850 --> 00:26:52.950
several weeks, a woman usually

407
00:26:52.950 --> 00:26:54.250
be somewhat susceptible to

408
00:26:54.250 --> 00:26:55.750
comments and attitudes of your

409
00:26:55.750 --> 00:26:58.010
couple. Forget words spoken with

410
00:26:58.010 --> 00:26:59.470
previousness that may not be

411
00:26:59.470 --> 00:27:00.990
they repeat, but they don't want to

412
00:27:00.990 --> 00:27:02.410
say no to sitting down, no one knows

413
00:27:02.410 --> 00:27:04.990
live. This attitude is normal, and

414
00:27:04.990 --> 00:27:06.790
Watch out here! It's normal and not a

415
00:27:06.790 --> 00:27:08.070
compelling reason for mockery

416
00:27:08.070 --> 00:27:09.530
ridiculing and worse for

417
00:27:09.530 --> 00:27:11.870
divorces. I have handled cases with

418
00:27:11.870 --> 00:27:13.590
This endocrinological setback does not

419
00:27:13.590 --> 00:27:15.090
only in women who recently

420
00:27:15.090 --> 00:27:16.650
have gone through the process of

421
00:27:16.650 --> 00:27:18.370
childbirth, but also with those

422
00:27:18.370 --> 00:27:19.830
that have ups and downs before and

423
00:27:19.830 --> 00:27:21.730
during her menstruation. I

424
00:27:21.730 --> 00:27:23.490
I knew from books, from

425
00:27:23.490 --> 00:27:25.090
science and for the cases attended

426
00:27:25.090 --> 00:27:26.810
in the consultation, however

427
00:27:26.810 --> 00:27:28.530
I was also able to experience it in my

428
00:27:28.530 --> 00:27:30.350
own relationship as a couple. No

429
00:27:30.350 --> 00:27:32.270
I told my wife: "Don't go

430
00:27:32.270 --> 00:27:34.310
because I don't give you permission." Neither

431
00:27:34.310 --> 00:27:36.650
I told her. "You look perfect."

432
00:27:36.650 --> 00:27:38.590
I said: Rebe, if you want to go because

433
00:27:38.590 --> 00:27:39.870
you think it will make you feel good

434
00:27:39.870 --> 00:27:41.690
with yourself. Because you are so

435
00:27:41.690 --> 00:27:43.150
restless or more than a squirrel,

436
00:27:43.550 --> 00:27:44.770
because it gives you energy even

437
00:27:44.770 --> 00:27:46.090
to deal with me and my

438
00:27:46.090 --> 00:27:47.430
andropause gestures and

439
00:27:47.430 --> 00:27:49.310
hopelessly pissed off, then

440
00:27:49.310 --> 00:27:51.950
Go ahead. Go my love, give yourself away

441
00:27:51.950 --> 00:27:53.290
that time and space for

442
00:27:53.290 --> 00:27:55.070
you as a woman, as the woman

443
00:27:55.070 --> 00:27:56.270
that you have not stopped being

444
00:27:56.270 --> 00:27:58.210
since you were born. I only give you

445
00:27:58.210 --> 00:27:59.790
a piece of advice, plan well

446
00:27:59.790 --> 00:28:01.130
breastfeeding schedules.

447
00:28:01.530 --> 00:28:02.530
You have told me several times

448
00:28:02.530 --> 00:28:03.590
that for you this right

449
00:28:03.590 --> 00:28:05.090
biological is something sacred,

450
00:28:05.090 --> 00:28:06.890
that you prefer to breastfeed our

451
00:28:06.890 --> 00:28:08.930
son yourself and not take out your

452
00:28:08.930 --> 00:28:10.270
milk with the extractor for

453
00:28:10.270 --> 00:28:11.730
leave me the exact dose that

454
00:28:11.730 --> 00:28:12.890
I should give it to him when you're not here

455
00:28:12.890 --> 00:28:14.770
at home. But if you go because

456
00:28:14.770 --> 00:28:16.010
Do you think that this way you will stop?

457
00:28:16.010 --> 00:28:17.610
feel hips, because

458
00:28:17.610 --> 00:28:18.990
You think that I will love you like this

459
00:28:18.990 --> 00:28:20.770
even in bed. Or because

460
00:28:20.770 --> 00:28:22.390
If your urge to go to the gym

461
00:28:22.390 --> 00:28:23.430
is born from the pressure of

462
00:28:23.430 --> 00:28:25.370
foreign concepts. From phrases

463
00:28:25.370 --> 00:28:26.690
cruel of your own mind

464
00:28:26.690 --> 00:28:27.950
that make you believe you have

465
00:28:27.950 --> 00:28:29.110
a lot of meat for little

466
00:28:29.110 --> 00:28:30.790
ember and that's why you are less

467
00:28:30.790 --> 00:28:32.290
valuable to me. Then

468
00:28:32.290 --> 00:28:33.590
you should check carefully

469
00:28:33.590 --> 00:28:35.250
all those ideas and attitudes

470
00:28:35.250 --> 00:28:36.750
because they are not guiding you

471
00:28:36.750 --> 00:28:38.150
towards well-being, but

472
00:28:38.150 --> 00:28:39.330
towards the anxiety of wanting

473
00:28:39.330 --> 00:28:40.650
to be what is not necessary

474
00:28:40.650 --> 00:28:42.490
reach. You must review

475
00:28:42.490 --> 00:28:43.930
these parameters consciously

476
00:28:43.930 --> 00:28:45.330
and not go. With the face

477
00:28:45.330 --> 00:28:46.650
that she put me when I heard

478
00:28:46.650 --> 00:28:48.310
my answer, I understood that

479
00:28:48.310 --> 00:28:49.330
He thought I would tell him

480
00:28:49.330 --> 00:28:50.970
something else. Then

481
00:28:50.970 --> 00:28:51.950
notice their discontent

482
00:28:51.950 --> 00:28:53.490
for my words. Increase

483
00:28:53.490 --> 00:28:54.430
taking advantage of the fact that

484
00:28:54.430 --> 00:28:55.290
our son was

485
00:28:55.290 --> 00:28:56.450
finally asleep first

486
00:28:56.450 --> 00:28:57.630
we were going to talk with

487
00:28:57.630 --> 00:28:58.670
the frankness with which

488
00:28:58.670 --> 00:28:59.850
we always tend to do it.

489
00:29:00.310 --> 00:29:01.010
Direct as

490
00:29:01.010 --> 00:29:02.290
an intravenous injection.

491
00:29:02.290 --> 00:29:04.070
I spoke without romanticism

492
00:29:04.070 --> 00:29:05.170
added because it was not

493
00:29:05.170 --> 00:29:06.530
the moment. I told him

494
00:29:06.530 --> 00:29:07.110
that for me

495
00:29:07.110 --> 00:29:08.190
she was beautiful,

496
00:29:08.590 --> 00:29:09.870
not only because of how it looked

497
00:29:09.870 --> 00:29:10.830
and how good it looked on him

498
00:29:10.830 --> 00:29:11.990
clothes or when

499
00:29:11.990 --> 00:29:13.050
I had nothing on,

500
00:29:13.550 --> 00:29:14.410
but by how it is

501
00:29:14.410 --> 00:29:15.810
with herself, with me,

502
00:29:16.230 --> 00:29:17.410
with everyone in everyday life

503
00:29:17.410 --> 00:29:18.630
and what if what the

504
00:29:18.630 --> 00:29:19.470
urged to take

505
00:29:19.470 --> 00:29:20.570
the decision to go to a

506
00:29:20.570 --> 00:29:21.650
gym was fear

507
00:29:21.650 --> 00:29:22.550
not to be enough

508
00:29:22.550 --> 00:29:23.710
not even as a mother,

509
00:29:24.210 --> 00:29:25.070
then the place

510
00:29:25.070 --> 00:29:26.210
where worship is performed

511
00:29:26.210 --> 00:29:27.590
the body was not going to cure her,

512
00:29:28.010 --> 00:29:29.130
only to tire her out more

513
00:29:29.130 --> 00:29:30.450
and more generating circles

514
00:29:30.450 --> 00:29:31.770
vicious and destructive.

515
00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:33.970
My wife was going to argue something

516
00:29:33.970 --> 00:29:35.250
or rather to protest,

517
00:29:35.550 --> 00:29:36.630
but I went ahead,

518
00:29:36.990 --> 00:29:39.330
I slowly put my hand on it

519
00:29:39.330 --> 00:29:40.010
on the lips,

520
00:29:40.450 --> 00:29:41.370
sign that he wanted

521
00:29:41.370 --> 00:29:42.070
to keep quiet,

522
00:29:42.430 --> 00:29:43.430
only with the intention

523
00:29:43.430 --> 00:29:44.330
to tell him words

524
00:29:44.330 --> 00:29:45.490
with a sexual overtone.

525
00:29:45.930 --> 00:29:47.170
It was so direct,

526
00:29:47.490 --> 00:29:48.010
so carnal,

527
00:29:48.490 --> 00:29:49.670
so full of royal desire,

528
00:29:50.130 --> 00:29:50.590
no ideal,

529
00:29:51.090 --> 00:29:51.910
so much so that she

530
00:29:51.910 --> 00:29:52.610
she blushed,

531
00:29:53.090 --> 00:29:53.790
looked down

532
00:29:53.790 --> 00:29:55.050
and for the first time in days

533
00:29:55.500 --> 00:29:56.710
At last my wife smiled,

534
00:29:57.250 --> 00:29:57.990
not with irony,

535
00:29:58.450 --> 00:29:59.190
not with shame,

536
00:29:59.570 --> 00:30:00.530
but with freedom,

537
00:30:00.530 --> 00:30:01.430
with relief,

538
00:30:01.710 --> 00:30:02.750
because I had told him

539
00:30:02.750 --> 00:30:03.470
certain things

540
00:30:03.470 --> 00:30:04.430
that I wanted to hear

541
00:30:04.430 --> 00:30:05.230
since he found out

542
00:30:05.230 --> 00:30:06.190
that she was pregnant,

543
00:30:06.610 --> 00:30:07.450
since it began

544
00:30:07.450 --> 00:30:08.510
to grow her belly

545
00:30:08.510 --> 00:30:09.890
and also the breasts,

546
00:30:10.230 --> 00:30:11.110
since she gave birth

547
00:30:11.110 --> 00:30:12.330
and the evil ones arrived

548
00:30:12.330 --> 00:30:13.350
normal after-effects

549
00:30:13.350 --> 00:30:14.070
postpartum.

550
00:30:14.650 --> 00:30:15.490
My wife and I

551
00:30:15.490 --> 00:30:16.070
we reaffirm

552
00:30:16.070 --> 00:30:17.430
our bond of intimacy

553
00:30:17.430 --> 00:30:18.850
beyond insecurities,

554
00:30:19.370 --> 00:30:20.590
because even if I didn't tell him

555
00:30:20.590 --> 00:30:21.750
as an irreverent mantra

556
00:30:21.750 --> 00:30:22.630
or vanilla cliché

557
00:30:22.630 --> 00:30:23.230
that becomes

558
00:30:23.230 --> 00:30:24.430
increasingly cloying,

559
00:30:24.850 --> 00:30:26.130
I liked her body like that

560
00:30:26.130 --> 00:30:26.770
and how was it

561
00:30:26.770 --> 00:30:27.630
since there was something

562
00:30:27.630 --> 00:30:28.590
in these new forms

563
00:30:28.590 --> 00:30:29.150
and curves

564
00:30:29.150 --> 00:30:29.890
that moved me

565
00:30:29.890 --> 00:30:30.870
just by kissing them

566
00:30:30.870 --> 00:30:31.770
and caress them,

567
00:30:32.050 --> 00:30:32.970
because those hips

568
00:30:32.970 --> 00:30:33.770
and those buttocks

569
00:30:33.770 --> 00:30:34.590
were the impression

570
00:30:34.590 --> 00:30:35.770
and the trail of a miracle

571
00:30:35.770 --> 00:30:36.690
for which she asked

572
00:30:36.690 --> 00:30:37.830
to the Creator so many times

573
00:30:37.830 --> 00:30:38.950
but it was not possible

574
00:30:38.950 --> 00:30:39.950
for a long time

575
00:30:39.950 --> 00:30:41.150
due to her infertility

576
00:30:41.150 --> 00:30:42.250
due to Obario syndrome

577
00:30:42.250 --> 00:30:43.030
polycystic.

578
00:30:43.350 --> 00:30:44.090
Rebbe understood

579
00:30:44.090 --> 00:30:44.710
that her beauty

580
00:30:44.710 --> 00:30:45.530
it was not set

581
00:30:45.530 --> 00:30:46.490
in an external mold

582
00:30:46.490 --> 00:30:47.750
held by my tastes

583
00:30:47.750 --> 00:30:48.250
and wishes

584
00:30:48.250 --> 00:30:49.130
even sexual,

585
00:30:49.490 --> 00:30:50.170
but focused

586
00:30:50.170 --> 00:30:50.750
in their own

587
00:30:50.750 --> 00:30:51.770
everyday experience

588
00:30:51.770 --> 00:30:52.770
about curves

589
00:30:52.770 --> 00:30:53.390
of your body

590
00:30:53.390 --> 00:30:54.110
and attitudes

591
00:30:54.110 --> 00:30:54.790
from his heart.

592
00:30:55.310 --> 00:30:56.310
I close the parenthesis.

593
00:30:56.550 --> 00:30:57.210
With my patient

594
00:30:57.210 --> 00:30:58.150
I used the method

595
00:30:58.150 --> 00:30:59.130
of self-revelation.

596
00:30:59.130 --> 00:31:00.390
I used some data

597
00:31:00.390 --> 00:31:01.170
of memories

598
00:31:01.170 --> 00:31:02.250
that I just told you.

599
00:31:02.710 --> 00:31:03.870
The sensible and apt

600
00:31:03.870 --> 00:31:04.330
for him

601
00:31:04.330 --> 00:31:05.070
and the related

602
00:31:05.070 --> 00:31:06.090
that personal story,

603
00:31:06.510 --> 00:31:06.930
not only

604
00:31:06.930 --> 00:31:07.790
as his psychiatrist

605
00:31:07.790 --> 00:31:08.610
but as a man,

606
00:31:08.950 --> 00:31:09.590
as a husband.

607
00:31:10.210 --> 00:31:11.170
My patient smiled,

608
00:31:11.570 --> 00:31:12.030
not much,

609
00:31:12.370 --> 00:31:12.970
but he did it.

610
00:31:13.330 --> 00:31:14.130
Same as my goal

611
00:31:14.130 --> 00:31:15.050
It wasn't that he was laughing

612
00:31:15.050 --> 00:31:15.850
until urinating.

613
00:31:16.230 --> 00:31:17.070
Her slight smile

614
00:31:17.070 --> 00:31:17.950
he did not discharge him.

615
00:31:18.330 --> 00:31:19.150
Neither the cure

616
00:31:19.150 --> 00:31:20.090
so that the ghosts

617
00:31:20.090 --> 00:31:20.550
mental

618
00:31:20.550 --> 00:31:21.430
that torment him

619
00:31:21.430 --> 00:31:22.550
leave forever.

620
00:31:22.990 --> 00:31:23.490
My goal

621
00:31:23.490 --> 00:31:24.130
it was fulfilled

622
00:31:24.130 --> 00:31:25.330
because he was able to recognize

623
00:31:25.330 --> 00:31:26.390
a different concept,

624
00:31:26.690 --> 00:31:27.270
that beauty

625
00:31:27.270 --> 00:31:28.010
it is not a measure

626
00:31:28.010 --> 00:31:28.770
fixed dictated

627
00:31:28.770 --> 00:31:29.410
for the others,

628
00:31:29.810 --> 00:31:30.650
not a single sentence

629
00:31:30.650 --> 00:31:31.310
that condemns him

630
00:31:31.310 --> 00:31:32.430
to feel inadequate.

631
00:31:32.830 --> 00:31:34.250
I know your case is complicated,

632
00:31:34.710 --> 00:31:35.530
your partner too

633
00:31:35.530 --> 00:31:36.210
has contributed

634
00:31:36.210 --> 00:31:37.470
with interesting comments

635
00:31:37.470 --> 00:31:38.090
that have marked

636
00:31:38.090 --> 00:31:38.890
your self-esteem,

637
00:31:39.290 --> 00:31:40.150
making him vulnerable

638
00:31:40.150 --> 00:31:40.830
to the mirror

639
00:31:40.830 --> 00:31:42.530
already in his own internal words.

640
00:31:42.830 --> 00:31:44.010
As he told me later,

641
00:31:44.450 --> 00:31:45.270
she has reinforced

642
00:31:45.270 --> 00:31:46.110
their sufferings

643
00:31:46.110 --> 00:31:46.810
with comments

644
00:31:46.810 --> 00:31:48.310
disguised as concern,

645
00:31:48.750 --> 00:31:49.550
with comparisons,

646
00:31:50.150 --> 00:31:50.750
with silences

647
00:31:50.750 --> 00:31:51.390
uncomfortable

648
00:31:51.390 --> 00:31:52.450
in front of certain photos,

649
00:31:52.950 --> 00:31:53.570
with sighs

650
00:31:53.570 --> 00:31:54.470
that he interprets

651
00:31:54.470 --> 00:31:55.270
as a disappointment.

652
00:31:55.670 --> 00:31:56.350
That dynamic

653
00:31:56.350 --> 00:31:57.230
has led him to hate

654
00:31:57.230 --> 00:31:58.630
every inch of her skin.

655
00:31:59.130 --> 00:32:00.670
Let's see defects where there are features,

656
00:32:01.110 --> 00:32:02.370
to feel less of a person

657
00:32:02.370 --> 00:32:03.090
for not complying

658
00:32:03.090 --> 00:32:03.810
with a standard

659
00:32:03.810 --> 00:32:05.190
that doesn't even belong to him.

660
00:32:05.490 --> 00:32:06.350
I know that the smile

661
00:32:06.350 --> 00:32:07.390
that came out of his lips

662
00:32:07.390 --> 00:32:08.270
with what I told him

663
00:32:08.270 --> 00:32:08.950
in brief

664
00:32:08.950 --> 00:32:10.610
does not mean the end of the battle,

665
00:32:11.030 --> 00:32:12.730
but a first breath of relief,

666
00:32:13.030 --> 00:32:14.430
a moment where he understood

667
00:32:14.430 --> 00:32:15.330
that it was not necessary

668
00:32:15.330 --> 00:32:16.270
ask anyone

669
00:32:16.270 --> 00:32:17.730
if he was pretty or attractive,

670
00:32:18.110 --> 00:32:18.970
that it was not necessary

671
00:32:18.970 --> 00:32:20.110
hear it from others,

672
00:32:20.530 --> 00:32:21.470
but to learn to live

673
00:32:21.470 --> 00:32:22.430
without that question

674
00:32:22.430 --> 00:32:23.310
define your value.

675
00:32:23.630 --> 00:32:24.330
He got the point

676
00:32:24.330 --> 00:32:25.270
after listening

677
00:32:25.270 --> 00:32:26.330
the story I told him.

678
00:32:26.330 --> 00:32:27.870
He understood that beauty

679
00:32:27.870 --> 00:32:28.550
that tortures him

680
00:32:28.550 --> 00:32:29.370
it's not yours,

681
00:32:29.670 --> 00:32:30.690
is the one that has been imposed on him.

682
00:32:31.190 --> 00:32:31.990
I made it very clear to him

683
00:32:31.990 --> 00:32:32.670
that your problem

684
00:32:32.670 --> 00:32:33.950
we're going to take it apart together

685
00:32:34.490 --> 00:32:35.190
with therapy,

686
00:32:35.670 --> 00:32:36.330
patiently,

687
00:32:36.790 --> 00:32:37.190
with pain,

688
00:32:37.650 --> 00:32:38.510
with psychotropic drugs

689
00:32:38.510 --> 00:32:39.570
to go down little by little

690
00:32:39.570 --> 00:32:40.930
anxiety and insomnia,

691
00:32:41.290 --> 00:32:41.890
with laughter,

692
00:32:42.290 --> 00:32:43.330
with similar stories

693
00:32:43.330 --> 00:32:44.670
that do not intend to compare

694
00:32:44.670 --> 00:32:46.030
nor give magic solutions,

695
00:32:46.430 --> 00:32:47.270
but to remind him

696
00:32:47.270 --> 00:32:47.930
that beauty

697
00:32:47.930 --> 00:32:49.370
It is not an external verdict,

698
00:32:49.730 --> 00:32:51.150
it is an internal experience,

699
00:32:51.510 --> 00:32:52.250
a decision,

700
00:32:52.610 --> 00:32:53.590
an act of rebellion

701
00:32:53.590 --> 00:32:54.450
against those who want

702
00:32:54.450 --> 00:32:55.710
reduce it to an image,

703
00:32:55.710 --> 00:32:57.470
although he has a long way to go,

704
00:32:57.790 --> 00:32:58.290
complex,

705
00:32:58.570 --> 00:32:59.530
full of setbacks

706
00:32:59.530 --> 00:33:00.670
and treacherous mirrors.

707
00:33:00.870 --> 00:33:01.870
I know that for the first time

708
00:33:01.870 --> 00:33:02.970
did not come from somewhere

709
00:33:02.970 --> 00:33:04.130
looking for an answer

710
00:33:04.130 --> 00:33:05.190
about his appearance.

711
00:33:05.670 --> 00:33:06.710
He came out with a question

712
00:33:06.710 --> 00:33:07.290
healthier,

713
00:33:07.770 --> 00:33:08.330
how are you doing.

714
00:33:08.750 --> 00:33:09.910
And if I start to believe myself

715
00:33:09.910 --> 00:33:11.030
worthy even if you don't see me

716
00:33:11.030 --> 00:33:11.870
as the rest want,

717
00:33:12.250 --> 00:33:13.550
beauty is not a dictate

718
00:33:13.550 --> 00:33:14.770
external nor a standard

719
00:33:14.770 --> 00:33:16.310
rigid but a construction

720
00:33:16.310 --> 00:33:18.010
internal that when it is distorted,

721
00:33:18.390 --> 00:33:19.410
takes us away from peace.

722
00:33:19.990 --> 00:33:20.970
Critical voices

723
00:33:20.970 --> 00:33:21.410
in the head

724
00:33:21.410 --> 00:33:22.590
often amplified

725
00:33:22.590 --> 00:33:24.030
by external influences

726
00:33:24.030 --> 00:33:25.190
they can sabotage,

727
00:33:25.190 --> 00:33:26.990
but there are techniques on how to,

728
00:33:27.390 --> 00:33:28.150
as a first step,

729
00:33:28.870 --> 00:33:30.390
question them until you reject them

730
00:33:30.390 --> 00:33:31.590
instead of obeying them.

731
00:33:32.110 --> 00:33:33.190
My patient understood

732
00:33:33.190 --> 00:33:34.530
that the comments of others,

733
00:33:35.070 --> 00:33:36.510
those hurtful remarks,

734
00:33:37.030 --> 00:33:38.330
those subtle comparisons

735
00:33:38.330 --> 00:33:39.310
with other people,

736
00:33:39.890 --> 00:33:41.330
have eroded their self-esteem

737
00:33:41.330 --> 00:33:42.230
until it becomes

738
00:33:42.230 --> 00:33:43.410
in a destructive pattern

739
00:33:43.410 --> 00:33:44.570
of self-loathing

740
00:33:44.570 --> 00:33:46.050
and that this relational factor

741
00:33:46.050 --> 00:33:47.690
added layers of complexity

742
00:33:47.690 --> 00:33:48.230
to your case

743
00:33:48.230 --> 00:33:49.690
because he didn't just deal with

744
00:33:49.690 --> 00:33:51.010
with his internal dysmorphia,

745
00:33:51.350 --> 00:33:52.790
but with toxic dynamics

746
00:33:52.790 --> 00:33:53.990
that reinforce the cycle.

747
00:33:53.990 --> 00:33:54.850
He understood.

748
00:33:55.250 --> 00:33:56.710
He didn't get over it in a jiffy.

749
00:33:57.130 --> 00:33:57.650
He understood.

750
00:33:58.210 --> 00:33:59.710
And this for me as a psychiatrist

751
00:33:59.710 --> 00:34:00.510
It is already a step forward.

752
00:34:01.030 --> 00:34:01.710
A great breakthrough.

753
00:34:02.330 --> 00:34:03.070
I prescribed it for him.

754
00:34:03.510 --> 00:34:04.550
Not a complete cocktail

755
00:34:04.550 --> 00:34:05.850
to keep him away

756
00:34:05.850 --> 00:34:06.490
of reality.

757
00:34:06.950 --> 00:34:07.950
Eminem will give a solo

758
00:34:07.950 --> 00:34:08.770
a tick tock,

759
00:34:09.270 --> 00:34:10.070
as they usually say

760
00:34:10.070 --> 00:34:11.450
my teenage patients

761
00:34:11.450 --> 00:34:12.390
to psychotropic drugs

762
00:34:12.390 --> 00:34:12.990
that I send to you.

763
00:34:13.570 --> 00:34:14.590
I told him that in sessions

764
00:34:14.590 --> 00:34:15.270
later,

765
00:34:15.690 --> 00:34:16.930
we will explore the roots

766
00:34:16.930 --> 00:34:18.350
of his suicide attempts

767
00:34:18.350 --> 00:34:18.910
more in depth,

768
00:34:19.310 --> 00:34:20.790
which we will analyze in depth

769
00:34:20.790 --> 00:34:21.790
your family history,

770
00:34:22.350 --> 00:34:23.590
the environment in which he grew up

771
00:34:23.590 --> 00:34:24.770
under the shadow of a father

772
00:34:24.770 --> 00:34:26.190
perfectionist who valued

773
00:34:26.190 --> 00:34:27.270
success through image,

774
00:34:27.870 --> 00:34:29.170
that we will break down patterns

775
00:34:29.170 --> 00:34:30.510
distorted cognitive

776
00:34:30.510 --> 00:34:32.030
through cognitive therapy

777
00:34:32.030 --> 00:34:32.630
behavioral

778
00:34:32.630 --> 00:34:34.350
and we will work on techniques

779
00:34:34.350 --> 00:34:35.870
of mindfulness to reconnect

780
00:34:35.870 --> 00:34:37.190
with her body without judgment,

781
00:34:37.690 --> 00:34:38.970
which we will also incorporate

782
00:34:38.970 --> 00:34:40.330
exposure exercises

783
00:34:40.330 --> 00:34:42.110
gradual to mirrors and photographs

784
00:34:42.110 --> 00:34:43.270
along with discussions

785
00:34:43.270 --> 00:34:44.670
on redefining beauty

786
00:34:44.670 --> 00:34:45.750
as something holistic.

787
00:34:46.250 --> 00:34:46.630
For me,

788
00:34:47.050 --> 00:34:48.330
It is important to explain to them

789
00:34:48.330 --> 00:34:49.990
to my patients and their families

790
00:34:49.990 --> 00:34:51.170
the therapeutic plan

791
00:34:51.170 --> 00:34:52.170
that we designed together

792
00:34:52.170 --> 00:34:53.210
because I want them to be

793
00:34:53.210 --> 00:34:54.670
1,000% involved

794
00:34:54.670 --> 00:34:55.630
to see results,

795
00:34:56.150 --> 00:34:57.070
not in record time,

796
00:34:57.210 --> 00:34:58.550
because I never promise anything

797
00:34:58.550 --> 00:35:00.070
I don't even give approximate dates

798
00:35:00.070 --> 00:35:00.710
of healing,

799
00:35:01.070 --> 00:35:02.450
but that everything develops

800
00:35:02.450 --> 00:35:03.430
at the right time

801
00:35:03.430 --> 00:35:04.950
because each case is a point

802
00:35:04.950 --> 00:35:05.570
and apart.

803
00:35:05.870 --> 00:35:07.030
He asked me if he could

804
00:35:07.030 --> 00:35:07.910
bring your partner

805
00:35:07.910 --> 00:35:08.790
next week

806
00:35:08.790 --> 00:35:10.130
that we will see each other to adjust

807
00:35:10.130 --> 00:35:11.030
the doses of the two

808
00:35:11.030 --> 00:35:11.810
psychotropic drugs

809
00:35:11.810 --> 00:35:12.550
that I prescribed for him.

810
00:35:12.770 --> 00:35:13.650
I answered him that

811
00:35:13.650 --> 00:35:14.390
after some

812
00:35:14.390 --> 00:35:15.790
consultations alone with him

813
00:35:15.790 --> 00:35:16.650
I could bring it

814
00:35:16.650 --> 00:35:17.630
because I would like to

815
00:35:17.630 --> 00:35:18.350
meet her,

816
00:35:18.570 --> 00:35:20.010
not like another patient of mine,

817
00:35:20.110 --> 00:35:21.130
but as a piece

818
00:35:21.130 --> 00:35:22.150
within the circle of

819
00:35:22.150 --> 00:35:23.170
caregivers

820
00:35:23.170 --> 00:35:24.390
with mental illnesses,

821
00:35:24.830 --> 00:35:26.010
that it will not be to judge her

822
00:35:26.010 --> 00:35:26.870
nor to reveal to him

823
00:35:26.870 --> 00:35:27.650
that he told me

824
00:35:27.650 --> 00:35:28.230
attitudes

825
00:35:28.230 --> 00:35:28.970
that she had

826
00:35:28.970 --> 00:35:29.490
towards him,

827
00:35:29.630 --> 00:35:30.650
but to know her,

828
00:35:30.990 --> 00:35:31.810
to be encouraged

829
00:35:31.810 --> 00:35:33.130
empathy and communication

830
00:35:33.130 --> 00:35:33.730
between both,

831
00:35:33.930 --> 00:35:34.930
because this will help you

832
00:35:34.930 --> 00:35:35.970
much to mitigate

833
00:35:35.970 --> 00:35:37.430
those destructive comments.

834
00:35:37.990 --> 00:35:39.030
But I also clarified to him

835
00:35:39.030 --> 00:35:39.990
that in case she

836
00:35:39.990 --> 00:35:40.950
I would not like to accept

837
00:35:40.950 --> 00:35:41.570
accompany him,

838
00:35:41.770 --> 00:35:42.970
to stop insisting on that

839
00:35:42.970 --> 00:35:44.290
and continue along the path

840
00:35:44.290 --> 00:35:45.650
just because he only looked for

841
00:35:45.650 --> 00:35:46.570
help through the

842
00:35:46.570 --> 00:35:48.230
internal medicine specialty.

843
00:35:48.690 --> 00:35:49.430
Your path to

844
00:35:49.430 --> 00:35:50.570
full recovery

845
00:35:50.570 --> 00:35:51.890
requires a commitment

846
00:35:51.890 --> 00:35:53.250
continuous and even signed.

847
00:35:53.570 --> 00:35:54.130
However,

848
00:35:54.630 --> 00:35:55.290
one more time,

849
00:35:55.790 --> 00:35:56.810
I can see and check

850
00:35:56.810 --> 00:35:57.730
like psychiatry

851
00:35:57.730 --> 00:35:58.970
not only treats symptoms,

852
00:35:59.410 --> 00:36:00.450
but rather rebuilds

853
00:36:00.450 --> 00:36:01.650
personal narratives

854
00:36:01.650 --> 00:36:02.390
to restore

855
00:36:02.390 --> 00:36:03.410
inherent dignity

856
00:36:03.410 --> 00:36:04.290
of each individual.

857
00:36:04.670 --> 00:36:05.310
At another time

858
00:36:05.310 --> 00:36:06.130
I'll tell you about

859
00:36:06.130 --> 00:36:07.630
from the dysmorphia clinic.

860
00:36:08.010 --> 00:36:08.990
Now I want to focus

861
00:36:08.990 --> 00:36:09.610
in something else

862
00:36:09.610 --> 00:36:11.110
away from technicalities.

863
00:36:11.470 --> 00:36:12.030
The beauty,

864
00:36:12.230 --> 00:36:13.110
since its origins,

865
00:36:13.450 --> 00:36:14.510
It has been a construction

866
00:36:14.510 --> 00:36:15.450
human more than one

867
00:36:15.450 --> 00:36:16.370
absolute truth.

868
00:36:16.810 --> 00:36:17.750
Born in the gaze

869
00:36:17.750 --> 00:36:18.730
of those who observed

870
00:36:18.730 --> 00:36:19.110
the world

871
00:36:19.110 --> 00:36:20.010
and they sought order,

872
00:36:20.010 --> 00:36:20.930
harmony,

873
00:36:21.330 --> 00:36:22.010
proportion,

874
00:36:22.430 --> 00:36:23.550
perhaps as an attempt

875
00:36:23.550 --> 00:36:24.190
to domesticate

876
00:36:24.190 --> 00:36:25.010
the inherent chaos

877
00:36:25.010 --> 00:36:25.810
into existence.

878
00:36:26.170 --> 00:36:27.550
In the first civilizations

879
00:36:27.550 --> 00:36:28.390
the beautiful used to

880
00:36:28.390 --> 00:36:29.610
connect with the divine,

881
00:36:30.090 --> 00:36:31.330
what pleased the gods,

882
00:36:31.930 --> 00:36:32.730
what it reflected

883
00:36:32.730 --> 00:36:33.730
cosmic balance,

884
00:36:34.190 --> 00:36:35.030
what it symbolized

885
00:36:35.030 --> 00:36:36.070
fertility or power,

886
00:36:36.450 --> 00:36:37.810
it was not an aesthetic whim

887
00:36:37.810 --> 00:36:38.770
but a sign

888
00:36:38.770 --> 00:36:39.430
of a moral order,

889
00:36:39.890 --> 00:36:40.710
of social health,

890
00:36:41.210 --> 00:36:42.370
of spiritual blessing.

891
00:36:43.030 --> 00:36:43.570
Over time

892
00:36:43.570 --> 00:36:44.630
beauty became

893
00:36:44.630 --> 00:36:45.270
more human,

894
00:36:45.630 --> 00:36:46.210
more earthly,

895
00:36:46.650 --> 00:36:47.710
the Greeks measured it

896
00:36:47.710 --> 00:36:48.790
with numbers believing

897
00:36:48.790 --> 00:36:49.570
that perfection

898
00:36:49.570 --> 00:36:50.750
resided in proportions

899
00:36:50.750 --> 00:36:51.470
mathematics.

900
00:36:51.970 --> 00:36:52.890
The Renaissance

901
00:36:52.890 --> 00:36:54.350
they painted it with light and shadow

902
00:36:54.350 --> 00:36:55.670
searching the human body

903
00:36:55.670 --> 00:36:56.690
a reflection of the soul.

904
00:36:57.130 --> 00:36:58.390
But even in those moments

905
00:36:58.390 --> 00:36:59.650
of apparent objectivity

906
00:36:59.650 --> 00:37:00.670
the beauty continued

907
00:37:00.670 --> 00:37:02.170
being a distorting mirror.

908
00:37:02.610 --> 00:37:04.110
It reflected more the anxieties,

909
00:37:04.670 --> 00:37:06.050
ideals and hierarchies

910
00:37:06.050 --> 00:37:06.750
of each era

911
00:37:06.750 --> 00:37:08.050
than a universal essence.

912
00:37:08.610 --> 00:37:09.430
In the 20th century

913
00:37:09.430 --> 00:37:11.250
beauty began to fragment.

914
00:37:11.770 --> 00:37:12.410
He was no longer alone

915
00:37:12.410 --> 00:37:13.630
what pleased the eye

916
00:37:13.630 --> 00:37:15.150
but also what challenged,

917
00:37:15.550 --> 00:37:16.450
what disturbed,

918
00:37:16.890 --> 00:37:17.890
what broke canons,

919
00:37:17.890 --> 00:37:19.830
art, fashion,

920
00:37:20.190 --> 00:37:20.870
advertising

921
00:37:20.870 --> 00:37:22.270
and then social networks

922
00:37:22.270 --> 00:37:23.490
they turned beauty

923
00:37:23.490 --> 00:37:25.270
on a symbolic battlefield.

924
00:37:25.470 --> 00:37:26.730
Who decides what is beautiful?

925
00:37:27.050 --> 00:37:28.590
Why does beauty hurt so often?

926
00:37:28.910 --> 00:37:30.750
And why does beauty become an obligation?

927
00:37:31.250 --> 00:37:32.950
From the perspective of psychiatry

928
00:37:32.950 --> 00:37:35.410
beauty operates as an emotional anchor.

929
00:37:35.830 --> 00:37:37.210
The human being seeks beauty

930
00:37:37.210 --> 00:37:38.690
not only for sensory pleasure

931
00:37:38.690 --> 00:37:39.970
but for safety,

932
00:37:40.310 --> 00:37:41.230
by belonging,

933
00:37:41.690 --> 00:37:42.350
for validation.

934
00:37:42.950 --> 00:37:44.170
Beauty calms anxiety

935
00:37:44.170 --> 00:37:45.130
if it is not enough

936
00:37:45.130 --> 00:37:46.430
but it also feeds it.

937
00:37:46.430 --> 00:37:49.190
When beauty becomes an unattainable standard

938
00:37:49.190 --> 00:37:51.330
becomes a source of anguish,

939
00:37:51.610 --> 00:37:52.030
of guilt,

940
00:37:52.530 --> 00:37:54.010
of pathological self-demand,

941
00:37:54.450 --> 00:37:55.830
many come to the office

942
00:37:55.830 --> 00:37:56.950
not because they are not beautiful

943
00:37:56.950 --> 00:37:59.130
but because they believe they are not enough

944
00:37:59.550 --> 00:38:01.810
and that belief is more than an aesthetic judgment

945
00:38:01.810 --> 00:38:03.490
It is a narcissistic wound.

946
00:38:03.850 --> 00:38:05.430
An echo of ancient rejections

947
00:38:05.430 --> 00:38:06.530
from other people's glances

948
00:38:06.530 --> 00:38:08.430
turned into internal truths.

949
00:38:08.890 --> 00:38:10.550
Today beauty is more plural than ever.

950
00:38:10.550 --> 00:38:12.090
and at the same time more oppressive.

951
00:38:12.370 --> 00:38:13.650
Diversity is celebrated

952
00:38:13.650 --> 00:38:15.210
but the exception is monetized,

953
00:38:15.210 --> 00:38:16.590
there is talk of inclusion

954
00:38:16.590 --> 00:38:18.130
but imperfection is punished.

955
00:38:18.490 --> 00:38:19.810
The evolution of the concept

956
00:38:19.810 --> 00:38:22.150
It has not been entirely linear or liberating,

957
00:38:22.490 --> 00:38:23.350
it has been a back and forth

958
00:38:23.350 --> 00:38:24.730
between the sublime and the commercial,

959
00:38:25.210 --> 00:38:27.010
between the authentic and the performative.

960
00:38:27.630 --> 00:38:28.870
The funny thing is that deep down

961
00:38:28.870 --> 00:38:29.850
what people are looking for

962
00:38:29.850 --> 00:38:31.130
when pursuing beauty,

963
00:38:31.450 --> 00:38:32.150
on his face,

964
00:38:32.490 --> 00:38:33.070
in your body,

965
00:38:33.470 --> 00:38:34.110
in its environment,

966
00:38:34.570 --> 00:38:35.570
It is not so much pleasing

967
00:38:35.570 --> 00:38:36.590
an external standard

968
00:38:36.590 --> 00:38:38.070
but to feel worthy of love,

969
00:38:38.450 --> 00:38:38.950
of attention,

970
00:38:39.530 --> 00:38:40.310
of permanence.

971
00:38:40.870 --> 00:38:42.610
Beauty in its most human essence

972
00:38:42.610 --> 00:38:44.330
It is still an affective language,

973
00:38:44.330 --> 00:38:45.730
a way of saying

974
00:38:45.730 --> 00:38:47.510
Here I am and I deserve to be seen.

975
00:38:48.090 --> 00:38:49.170
The problem is believing

976
00:38:49.170 --> 00:38:50.410
that without beauty there is no such thing as

977
00:38:50.410 --> 00:38:51.250
nor is it complete

978
00:38:51.650 --> 00:38:53.390
and that is more than an aesthetic issue

979
00:38:53.390 --> 00:38:54.490
it is a wound of the soul

980
00:38:54.490 --> 00:38:55.670
that asks to be heard.

981
00:38:56.210 --> 00:38:58.230
Beauty in its rawest and most digital version

982
00:38:58.230 --> 00:38:59.050
has become

983
00:38:59.050 --> 00:39:01.170
in a kind of religion without a temple

984
00:39:01.170 --> 00:39:02.810
but with altars on every screen,

985
00:39:03.190 --> 00:39:04.230
what was once admired

986
00:39:04.230 --> 00:39:06.030
on catwalks or magazine covers

987
00:39:06.030 --> 00:39:07.430
today it is consumed in seconds.

988
00:39:08.650 --> 00:39:09.610
Edited, leaked,

989
00:39:10.130 --> 00:39:11.210
retouched to the point

990
00:39:11.210 --> 00:39:12.190
of no longer having skin,

991
00:39:12.650 --> 00:39:13.290
no pores,

992
00:39:13.290 --> 00:39:15.350
no expression lines due to age,

993
00:39:15.650 --> 00:39:16.230
no stains,

994
00:39:16.530 --> 00:39:17.190
in acne,

995
00:39:17.590 --> 00:39:18.170
no shadows,

996
00:39:18.590 --> 00:39:19.290
nor humanity

997
00:39:19.290 --> 00:39:21.870
and that seen from the office chair

998
00:39:21.870 --> 00:39:23.550
It is not just an aesthetic trend,

999
00:39:24.030 --> 00:39:25.410
It is a psychological phenomenon

1000
00:39:25.410 --> 00:39:26.610
that has penetrated so deeply

1001
00:39:26.610 --> 00:39:27.670
that many no longer know

1002
00:39:27.670 --> 00:39:28.850
where reality ends

1003
00:39:28.850 --> 00:39:30.690
and where the manufactured begins.

1004
00:39:31.150 --> 00:39:31.910
Many stories

1005
00:39:31.910 --> 00:39:33.730
have gone through my patient lists,

1006
00:39:34.410 --> 00:39:36.170
teenagers crying in front of the mirror

1007
00:39:36.170 --> 00:39:38.190
because his nose doesn't look like a filter.

1008
00:39:38.870 --> 00:39:40.830
Women who refuse to go out without makeup

1009
00:39:40.830 --> 00:39:42.630
because they feel they do not exist without him.

1010
00:39:42.630 --> 00:39:44.550
The vigorexia that yearns for muscles

1011
00:39:44.550 --> 00:39:46.710
that only exist in editing applications.

1012
00:39:47.150 --> 00:39:48.930
Men who obsess over size

1013
00:39:48.930 --> 00:39:50.070
and the thickness of their penises

1014
00:39:50.070 --> 00:39:52.210
sometimes not even to give pleasure coy such,

1015
00:39:52.670 --> 00:39:54.330
but only as a personal achievement.

1016
00:39:54.830 --> 00:39:56.330
These symptoms are not vanity,

1017
00:39:56.590 --> 00:39:57.950
They are not a simple whim,

1018
00:39:58.310 --> 00:40:00.430
This is a serious cognitive distortion

1019
00:40:00.430 --> 00:40:01.650
powered by algorithms

1020
00:40:01.650 --> 00:40:03.130
who advertise what is deceptive,

1021
00:40:03.530 --> 00:40:04.670
that reward the impossible

1022
00:40:04.670 --> 00:40:05.690
and punish the natural.

1023
00:40:06.130 --> 00:40:08.090
Technology not only accelerated the image,

1024
00:40:08.570 --> 00:40:10.070
It also accelerated self-criticism,

1025
00:40:10.430 --> 00:40:11.150
the comparison,

1026
00:40:11.150 --> 00:40:12.430
the demand

1027
00:40:12.430 --> 00:40:14.610
and he did it with a pixelated smile,

1028
00:40:14.990 --> 00:40:17.470
with a like that became emotional oxygen.

1029
00:40:17.870 --> 00:40:20.030
The most painful thing is not the desire to look good

1030
00:40:20.030 --> 00:40:20.950
since that is human,

1031
00:40:21.370 --> 00:40:22.070
es ancestral,

1032
00:40:22.510 --> 00:40:24.270
but the loss of one's own image,

1033
00:40:24.690 --> 00:40:25.930
There are those who no longer recognize

1034
00:40:25.930 --> 00:40:27.130
their infiltrated faces,

1035
00:40:27.690 --> 00:40:28.830
those who delete their photos

1036
00:40:28.830 --> 00:40:30.410
If they don't have the perfect angle,

1037
00:40:30.810 --> 00:40:32.150
those who undergo surgery

1038
00:40:32.150 --> 00:40:33.390
not to feel better,

1039
00:40:33.750 --> 00:40:35.170
but to look like an avatar

1040
00:40:35.170 --> 00:40:36.290
that isn't even real.

1041
00:40:36.710 --> 00:40:38.810
Beauty became an unattainable goal

1042
00:40:38.810 --> 00:40:40.650
and in the attempt to reach it

1043
00:40:40.650 --> 00:40:42.430
many left their identity behind,

1044
00:40:42.850 --> 00:40:43.650
your self-esteem,

1045
00:40:44.070 --> 00:40:45.910
their mental and even sexual health.

1046
00:40:46.390 --> 00:40:48.450
In the office I have heard phrases like

1047
00:40:48.450 --> 00:40:50.090
I'm not enough like this,

1048
00:40:50.530 --> 00:40:51.730
everyone looks better than me,

1049
00:40:52.090 --> 00:40:53.190
if I don't look perfect

1050
00:40:53.190 --> 00:40:54.650
at least no one is going to love me.

1051
00:40:55.150 --> 00:40:56.410
And behind those words,

1052
00:40:56.850 --> 00:40:58.250
there is a deeper wound.

1053
00:40:58.710 --> 00:41:00.270
The belief that personal worth

1054
00:41:00.270 --> 00:41:01.610
is tied to appearance,

1055
00:41:02.150 --> 00:41:03.670
social networks with their logic

1056
00:41:03.670 --> 00:41:04.950
of instant perfection,

1057
00:41:05.430 --> 00:41:06.590
have turned beauty

1058
00:41:06.590 --> 00:41:07.850
in social exchange currency,

1059
00:41:07.850 --> 00:41:09.890
as a requirement to be accepted,

1060
00:41:10.310 --> 00:41:11.450
loved, validated.

1061
00:41:11.890 --> 00:41:13.430
And that seen from the perspective of psychiatry

1062
00:41:13.430 --> 00:41:14.450
it is very dangerous

1063
00:41:14.450 --> 00:41:15.570
because when the self-image

1064
00:41:15.570 --> 00:41:17.090
it is built from the outside

1065
00:41:17.090 --> 00:41:17.970
becomes fragile,

1066
00:41:18.390 --> 00:41:19.970
dependent, addictive,

1067
00:41:20.410 --> 00:41:22.130
but of course there is hope.

1068
00:41:22.570 --> 00:41:23.890
Amidst so much digital noise

1069
00:41:23.890 --> 00:41:24.910
more and more voices,

1070
00:41:25.350 --> 00:41:25.970
of patients,

1071
00:41:26.510 --> 00:41:26.910
of mothers,

1072
00:41:27.390 --> 00:41:27.850
of young people,

1073
00:41:28.450 --> 00:41:30.290
begin to question those standards,

1074
00:41:30.770 --> 00:41:32.010
to uninstall applications

1075
00:41:32.010 --> 00:41:33.050
that hurt them,

1076
00:41:33.350 --> 00:41:34.510
to look at each other without filters

1077
00:41:34.510 --> 00:41:36.370
even naked in front of the mirror,

1078
00:41:36.370 --> 00:41:38.170
to embrace their imperfections

1079
00:41:38.170 --> 00:41:39.610
as acts of resistance

1080
00:41:39.610 --> 00:41:40.790
because the real cure

1081
00:41:40.790 --> 00:41:42.070
It's not about changing the body

1082
00:41:42.070 --> 00:41:43.750
but in rewriting the narrative.

1083
00:41:44.290 --> 00:41:45.510
As my dad often says,

1084
00:41:46.010 --> 00:41:47.610
true beauty does not project,

1085
00:41:47.990 --> 00:41:48.310
inhabits.

1086
00:41:48.870 --> 00:41:51.090
The more people understand it, the healthier they will be.

1087
00:41:51.330 --> 00:41:52.770
will be the generations to come.

1088
00:41:53.230 --> 00:41:55.350
Technology doesn't have to be the enemy,

1089
00:41:55.830 --> 00:41:56.750
in fact it is not,

1090
00:41:57.070 --> 00:41:57.990
the problem appears

1091
00:41:57.990 --> 00:41:59.410
when he becomes a judge.

1092
00:41:59.950 --> 00:42:00.490
In executioner,

1093
00:42:00.910 --> 00:42:01.850
into a role model.

1094
00:42:02.490 --> 00:42:03.650
Beauty in its essence

1095
00:42:03.650 --> 00:42:05.110
It was never a still image,

1096
00:42:05.110 --> 00:42:07.310
It always was and always will be a reflection of the soul.

1097
00:42:07.730 --> 00:42:09.510
And no filter can imitate that.

1098
00:42:10.210 --> 00:42:12.150
Beauty when it becomes an obsession,

1099
00:42:12.510 --> 00:42:14.450
It ceases to be beauty and becomes a prison.

1100
00:42:14.750 --> 00:42:17.030
But when understood as an internal reflection,

1101
00:42:17.410 --> 00:42:19.010
not as a facade to the world,

1102
00:42:19.450 --> 00:42:21.490
It transforms into something much deeper,

1103
00:42:22.030 --> 00:42:23.650
more durable, more humane.

1104
00:42:24.130 --> 00:42:25.630
It's not about ignoring the body

1105
00:42:25.630 --> 00:42:27.370
nor to deny the desire to look good,

1106
00:42:27.730 --> 00:42:29.090
but to relocate the center,

1107
00:42:29.530 --> 00:42:30.090
not outside,

1108
00:42:30.550 --> 00:42:31.530
in the eyes of others

1109
00:42:31.530 --> 00:42:33.570
or in the fleeting canons but inside,

1110
00:42:33.570 --> 00:42:36.910
in the intimate relationship that each person builds with himself.

1111
00:42:37.330 --> 00:42:38.670
That is measured beauty,

1112
00:42:39.110 --> 00:42:39.810
the one who does not scream,

1113
00:42:40.230 --> 00:42:41.030
the one who does not compete,

1114
00:42:41.430 --> 00:42:42.810
the one that does not need validation

1115
00:42:42.810 --> 00:42:44.570
because she has already validated herself.

1116
00:42:44.950 --> 00:42:45.770
In the consultation,

1117
00:42:46.130 --> 00:42:48.570
After years of hearing stories marked by guilt,

1118
00:42:49.130 --> 00:42:49.850
the comparison,

1119
00:42:50.330 --> 00:42:51.170
self-rejection,

1120
00:42:51.650 --> 00:42:54.270
What is most repeated is not the desire to change the body

1121
00:42:54.270 --> 00:42:56.330
but the desire to stop suffering for him

1122
00:42:56.330 --> 00:42:57.770
and the cure because yes.

1123
00:42:58.190 --> 00:42:59.310
This is also cured,

1124
00:42:59.590 --> 00:43:00.790
is not in for more surgeries,

1125
00:43:01.250 --> 00:43:01.970
more filters,

1126
00:43:01.970 --> 00:43:03.590
more extreme diets.

1127
00:43:03.890 --> 00:43:05.810
It's about learning to look at yourself with tenderness,

1128
00:43:06.310 --> 00:43:08.670
in recognizing that value is not measured in centimeters,

1129
00:43:09.250 --> 00:43:10.070
in skin tones,

1130
00:43:10.510 --> 00:43:11.670
in the absence of wrinkles,

1131
00:43:12.070 --> 00:43:14.390
It is about understanding that taking care of yourself is not punishing yourself,

1132
00:43:14.910 --> 00:43:16.510
that beautifying oneself is not erasing oneself,

1133
00:43:16.910 --> 00:43:18.490
that loving oneself is not idolizing oneself,

1134
00:43:18.830 --> 00:43:21.050
because loving yourself is not narcissism,

1135
00:43:21.430 --> 00:43:22.790
narcissism is fragile,

1136
00:43:23.170 --> 00:43:24.810
dependent on external applause,

1137
00:43:25.250 --> 00:43:27.070
Self-love, on the other hand, is flexible,

1138
00:43:27.530 --> 00:43:29.870
silent because he doesn't need to prove anything,

1139
00:43:29.870 --> 00:43:31.890
feeds on small acts,

1140
00:43:32.310 --> 00:43:33.910
rest when the body asks for it,

1141
00:43:34.270 --> 00:43:35.610
eat with pleasure without guilt,

1142
00:43:36.070 --> 00:43:38.090
move for joy and not for punishment,

1143
00:43:38.510 --> 00:43:39.730
say no to what hurts,

1144
00:43:40.150 --> 00:43:41.030
yes to what nourishes,

1145
00:43:41.430 --> 00:43:43.310
is knowing that one is more than one's appearance

1146
00:43:43.310 --> 00:43:45.410
without denying that appearance also matters

1147
00:43:45.410 --> 00:43:46.370
but not as an end,

1148
00:43:46.750 --> 00:43:47.590
but as a part.

1149
00:43:48.050 --> 00:43:48.770
And that esteem,

1150
00:43:49.130 --> 00:43:50.930
The one that is born from within is not pride,

1151
00:43:51.410 --> 00:43:52.610
pride defends itself,

1152
00:43:53.030 --> 00:43:53.490
inflates,

1153
00:43:53.870 --> 00:43:54.930
fear of being discovered,

1154
00:43:55.310 --> 00:43:56.970
True esteem has no fear

1155
00:43:56.970 --> 00:43:59.230
because it is not built on superiority,

1156
00:43:59.230 --> 00:44:00.790
but about acceptance,

1157
00:44:01.310 --> 00:44:02.750
You don't say I'm better than others,

1158
00:44:03.250 --> 00:44:05.750
You say I am enough just as I am and that is enough for me,

1159
00:44:06.270 --> 00:44:08.870
does not reject improvement but chooses it out of love,

1160
00:44:09.250 --> 00:44:11.110
not from contempt and obligation,

1161
00:44:11.550 --> 00:44:13.150
dresses well not to impress,

1162
00:44:13.570 --> 00:44:15.410
but because she likes to feel comfortable,

1163
00:44:15.770 --> 00:44:18.030
She puts on makeup not to hide but to play,

1164
00:44:18.510 --> 00:44:19.250
to celebrate,

1165
00:44:19.590 --> 00:44:20.490
to feel alive.

1166
00:44:21.070 --> 00:44:23.830
Owning one's own beauty is a psychic obligation

1167
00:44:23.830 --> 00:44:27.150
because without that root any external ideal becomes a storm,

1168
00:44:27.150 --> 00:44:29.490
Without that anchor the person falls apart

1169
00:44:29.490 --> 00:44:31.870
to the first comment on the unretouched photo

1170
00:44:31.870 --> 00:44:33.590
and from the first implacable mirror,

1171
00:44:33.850 --> 00:44:36.410
But with her even the gray days have their own light

1172
00:44:36.410 --> 00:44:38.970
because who values ​​himself does not depend on being perfect

1173
00:44:38.970 --> 00:44:40.070
to feel valuable,

1174
00:44:40.510 --> 00:44:42.090
knows that its value is not negotiable,

1175
00:44:42.470 --> 00:44:45.130
They are not discounted, they are not given away, they are not on sale,

1176
00:44:45.550 --> 00:44:45.990
and so,

1177
00:44:46.270 --> 00:44:48.930
That is revolutionary, especially in a social system.

1178
00:44:48.930 --> 00:44:50.850
that sells dissatisfaction as a driving force,

1179
00:44:51.250 --> 00:44:54.050
Choosing peace with oneself is an act of healthy rebellion,

1180
00:44:54.390 --> 00:44:55.290
It is not conformism,

1181
00:44:55.690 --> 00:44:56.370
is clarity,

1182
00:44:56.370 --> 00:44:57.450
It is not surrender,

1183
00:44:57.910 --> 00:44:58.550
it is victory,

1184
00:44:58.950 --> 00:44:59.890
the quietest,

1185
00:45:00.230 --> 00:45:01.010
the deepest,

1186
00:45:01.350 --> 00:45:04.370
the one that no one can take away because it is built brick by brick,

1187
00:45:04.750 --> 00:45:05.510
look look,

1188
00:45:05.910 --> 00:45:07.250
breath by breath,

1189
00:45:07.750 --> 00:45:09.310
the beauty that is born from respect,

1190
00:45:09.730 --> 00:45:10.290
of care,

1191
00:45:10.830 --> 00:45:14.130
Love without exaggeration does not go out of fashion because it is not fashionable,

1192
00:45:14.430 --> 00:45:15.050
is essence.

1193
00:45:15.570 --> 00:45:19.050
In psychiatry the word beauty is rarely said out loud as such,

1194
00:45:19.410 --> 00:45:20.070
but it is there,

1195
00:45:20.470 --> 00:45:21.810
hidden behind the silences,

1196
00:45:22.350 --> 00:45:24.250
after the tears that fall on a pillow,

1197
00:45:24.250 --> 00:45:27.150
after the fasts that are justified as discipline,

1198
00:45:27.510 --> 00:45:30.510
after the surgeries that are repeated as rituals of redemption,

1199
00:45:31.050 --> 00:45:33.490
Misunderstood beauty becomes a symptom

1200
00:45:33.490 --> 00:45:36.750
and often at the heart of a definitive diagnosis,

1201
00:45:37.090 --> 00:45:38.490
as in the case of my patient.

1202
00:45:38.950 --> 00:45:40.770
This is not just an aesthetic issue,

1203
00:45:41.270 --> 00:45:45.530
It is a matter of the soul that has been worn down under the pressure of an ideal that never arrives,

1204
00:45:46.050 --> 00:45:46.970
that always moves,

1205
00:45:47.350 --> 00:45:48.410
that always demands more.

1206
00:45:48.990 --> 00:45:50.930
Disorders such as body dysmorphic disorder,

1207
00:45:50.930 --> 00:45:54.110
They are born from that gap between what is seen and what is believed to be seen,

1208
00:45:54.510 --> 00:45:55.910
a nose that isn't that big,

1209
00:45:56.390 --> 00:45:57.790
a body that is not so wide,

1210
00:45:58.170 --> 00:46:03.510
a skin that doesn't have so many imperfections but that in the mind are magnified until they become monsters,

1211
00:46:03.710 --> 00:46:04.530
and it is not vanity,

1212
00:46:04.990 --> 00:46:07.790
It is torture because the person who suffers from it does not feel vain,

1213
00:46:08.050 --> 00:46:09.870
feels ugly, defective,

1214
00:46:10.530 --> 00:46:10.970
unacceptable,

1215
00:46:11.310 --> 00:46:14.270
and that conviction when everything is disconnected inside,

1216
00:46:14.670 --> 00:46:17.210
It can hurt more than any external criticism.

1217
00:46:17.210 --> 00:46:21.670
Then there is anorexia nervosa where beauty is confused with extreme thinness,

1218
00:46:21.850 --> 00:46:23.170
and this one with the control,

1219
00:46:23.530 --> 00:46:29.570
It's not about looking pretty, but about feeling that at least in your body you can control something in a world that seems to be overflowing.

1220
00:46:30.010 --> 00:46:32.650
Bulimia, on the other hand, carries the guilt of pleasure,

1221
00:46:33.110 --> 00:46:34.670
with punishment after desire,

1222
00:46:35.010 --> 00:46:37.490
with the cycle of shame that repeats itself like an echo,

1223
00:46:37.830 --> 00:46:40.710
eat, binge, purge, hate yourself,

1224
00:46:41.050 --> 00:46:41.590
repeat,

1225
00:46:41.950 --> 00:46:46.930
and in both cases the body image is so distorted that even though the mirror shows bones the mind

1226
00:46:46.930 --> 00:46:49.730
keep seeing fat, excess, failure,

1227
00:46:50.190 --> 00:46:53.290
but there are also depressions dressed up as aesthetic dissatisfaction,

1228
00:46:53.870 --> 00:46:56.450
anxieties disguised as an obsession with complexion,

1229
00:46:56.870 --> 00:46:58.570
by the hair, by the size,

1230
00:46:58.990 --> 00:47:05.590
Social phobias that are justified by saying I don't go out because I don't look good when in truth they don't go out because the world seems too hostile,

1231
00:47:06.070 --> 00:47:06.970
judging and great,

1232
00:47:07.350 --> 00:47:08.830
and there are addictions to surgeries,

1233
00:47:09.370 --> 00:47:09.910
to filters,

1234
00:47:10.410 --> 00:47:16.330
to comparisons that feed a cracked self-esteem as if every physical change could repair an emotional void,

1235
00:47:16.330 --> 00:47:18.810
but the void is not filled with scalpels,

1236
00:47:19.090 --> 00:47:21.330
is filled with understanding of body and mind,

1237
00:47:21.870 --> 00:47:22.550
with validation.

1238
00:47:23.090 --> 00:47:25.210
The saddest thing is that many of these people,

1239
00:47:25.590 --> 00:47:27.890
They don't come asking for help for a mental disorder,

1240
00:47:28.510 --> 00:47:30.770
They come saying I want to be better with my body.

1241
00:47:31.330 --> 00:47:33.810
And behind that what they are really saying is,

1242
00:47:34.250 --> 00:47:35.330
I want to stop suffering,

1243
00:47:35.730 --> 00:47:36.830
I want to stop hating myself,

1244
00:47:37.230 --> 00:47:40.490
I want to feel that I deserve to take up space in this world just as I am,

1245
00:47:40.870 --> 00:47:44.750
and there the work is not to correct the image but to rebuild the relationship with it,

1246
00:47:44.750 --> 00:47:48.510
It is not about erasing what they don't like but about teaching them to look at it without horror,

1247
00:47:48.910 --> 00:47:49.670
without urgency,

1248
00:47:50.090 --> 00:47:50.630
without war.

1249
00:47:51.130 --> 00:47:53.650
Psychiatry does not seek to make someone look like everyone else,

1250
00:47:54.110 --> 00:47:55.990
seeks that someone may be able to see themselves without pain,

1251
00:47:56.370 --> 00:47:56.930
fearless,

1252
00:47:57.330 --> 00:47:59.630
without that inner voice that says you are not enough,

1253
00:48:00.210 --> 00:48:02.090
It is not about denying the desire to improve,

1254
00:48:02.490 --> 00:48:04.150
but to set healthy limits,

1255
00:48:04.490 --> 00:48:07.650
to understand that the body is not a project of constant correction,

1256
00:48:08.090 --> 00:48:09.370
but a life partner,

1257
00:48:09.790 --> 00:48:10.390
an ally,

1258
00:48:10.810 --> 00:48:11.690
sometimes tired,

1259
00:48:12.150 --> 00:48:13.050
sometimes changing,

1260
00:48:13.050 --> 00:48:14.370
sometimes marked,

1261
00:48:14.730 --> 00:48:16.210
but always worthy of respect,

1262
00:48:16.670 --> 00:48:17.690
when that is achieved,

1263
00:48:18.010 --> 00:48:21.950
when the patient stops fighting his reflection and starts walking alongside it,

1264
00:48:22.370 --> 00:48:25.750
Something is transformed because it is no longer about beauty according to magazines,

1265
00:48:26.150 --> 00:48:27.090
according to the filters,

1266
00:48:27.510 --> 00:48:28.190
according to others,

1267
00:48:28.670 --> 00:48:29.570
it's about peace,

1268
00:48:29.930 --> 00:48:30.550
and that peace,

1269
00:48:30.910 --> 00:48:31.570
in silence,

1270
00:48:32.030 --> 00:48:32.510
noiseless,

1271
00:48:32.950 --> 00:48:33.410
sin poses,

1272
00:48:34.030 --> 00:48:35.430
It is the most authentic way,

1273
00:48:35.810 --> 00:48:36.570
more human,

1274
00:48:36.870 --> 00:48:38.570
most healing beauty that exists,

1275
00:48:39.030 --> 00:48:39.750
because it is not seen,

1276
00:48:40.190 --> 00:48:40.690
it feels,

1277
00:48:41.170 --> 00:48:41.670
see palpate,

1278
00:48:41.670 --> 00:48:43.450
is created and transformed.

1279
00:48:44.250 --> 00:48:45.170
This is as far as I'll go.

1280
00:48:45.990 --> 00:48:50.610
Thank you for joining me in this soliloquy and conversation of single words from beginning to end,

1281
00:48:51.070 --> 00:48:53.130
May my Creator and Sustainer allow me,

1282
00:48:53.790 --> 00:48:58.630
allow my wife and I to share with you a new opportunity that is not granted by life,

1283
00:48:59.090 --> 00:49:00.790
May the Creator embrace and bless you,

1284
00:49:01.290 --> 00:49:07.910
May they glimpse miracles through even things that seem ugly but actually emit light in the midst of the darkness of the world,

1285
00:49:07.910 --> 00:49:13.490
that they can recharge their batteries for what awaits each one in the course of daily affairs,

1286
00:49:13.770 --> 00:49:15.930
It was a pleasure preparing the video for you,

1287
00:49:16.390 --> 00:49:16.850
for you,

1288
00:49:17.370 --> 00:49:17.850
with you,

1289
00:49:18.390 --> 00:49:19.670
have a great day.

1290
00:49:20.230 --> 00:49:21.350
A big virtual hug,

1291
00:49:21.890 --> 00:49:22.410
blessings.