WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:06.480 I did everything they said that was going to make me happy. I built a career. I got my own place. 00:06.940 --> 00:14.260 I went on solo trips like a pro, the best hotels, flying business, you name it, right? The works. 00:15.100 --> 00:21.080 And I stayed independent. But no one told me about how lonely I was going to be on those trips. 00:21.620 --> 00:28.200 Being successful looks really good on the outside, but and I'm proud of everything that 00:28.200 --> 00:33.000 I did. Don't get me wrong. Like, Alhamdulillah. I'm very proud of all of my accomplishments, 00:33.900 --> 00:43.800 but it was very lonely. I feel very lonely all the time. It like success doesn't check in on you 00:43.800 --> 00:48.480 when you're spiraling at home, doesn't check in with you when you're having a bad day, 00:48.800 --> 00:53.720 doesn't check in with you when you're or just when like you miss your family back home. 00:54.800 --> 01:01.620 Don't get me wrong. Like being strong got me very far in my career and I'm very proud of everything 01:01.620 --> 01:09.540 that I've done, but I'm done pretending that I'm okay because I'm not. Okay. I'm done pretending 01:09.540 --> 01:14.200 that I'm okay because I'm not. These are the videos that women should pay attention to 01:14.200 --> 01:17.960 because these are the women being honest. These are the women, by the way, I don't know 01:17.960 --> 01:21.420 how old she is, but she she's probably in her early thirties, thirties somewhere. 01:21.420 --> 01:29.260 She she followed everything, everything that society, feminism, modern women told her to do 01:29.260 --> 01:33.960 and she's on it. She's not Chelsea Handler. She's not sitting here saying, do what I did. It's amazing 01:33.960 --> 01:37.920 and I had three one night stands last week and I feel amazing and looking like who did it and ran 01:37.920 --> 01:42.400 right. And she's not doing that. She's telling you, I did the career. I got my own place. 01:42.720 --> 01:48.300 I took the girls trips. I paid my own bills and I got every definition of success that society 01:48.300 --> 01:53.680 told me would feel good and I'm lonely. And that's a very, very honest, vulnerable thing for her to do 01:53.680 --> 01:57.120 and good on you, whoever you are. I don't know your name, but good on you for doing it 01:57.120 --> 02:01.560 because people need to hear that. And what struck me about this that's so interesting is if you 02:01.560 --> 02:07.500 think about it, you'll really, everyone, men, women, when they're young are all told the 02:07.500 --> 02:11.260 same thing. Right. And I thought about this about my own life. We're all told the same 02:11.260 --> 02:16.140 thing like get into a good school, right? Get good grades, get into a good college, 02:16.140 --> 02:20.540 go to a good college, do really well, get that good internship, you know, get a good 02:20.540 --> 02:25.980 internship and then get a good job and get your own apartment and be able to pay your own bills 02:26.540 --> 02:31.040 and climb the ladder of whatever that is to success and increase your salaries and 02:31.040 --> 02:36.460 get your own car and be able to, you know, be independent and financially take care of your 02:36.460 --> 02:41.840 stuff. Everyone's told the same story. There's no distinction between what women and men are 02:41.840 --> 02:48.160 told and yet men and women are completely different. Our hormones are different, our biology is different. 02:48.660 --> 02:53.340 Women have this window of opportunity when you can, you know, give birth much more easily 02:53.340 --> 02:58.900 and get pregnant much more easily. That's completely ignored in this advice. Our hormones are 02:58.900 --> 03:02.680 different so that different times of the month we need more rest. We're not, you know, 03:02.900 --> 03:08.680 testosterone. We're like this, right? Women have a completely different makeup. And because 03:08.680 --> 03:14.740 of that, we want and thrive in different situations, right? So why isn't the advice different for 03:14.740 --> 03:21.360 women? And it just, if you look at it, everyone is being told to follow a masculine path, one that 03:21.360 --> 03:28.060 will boost masculine hormones, testosterone, one that will increase masculine energy, 03:28.580 --> 03:34.260 one that will, it's all male advice, but it's being given to women and we follow it, right? 03:34.260 --> 03:39.220 I did it, went to school, went to college. Why did I go to college? Why? I didn't have like, 03:39.320 --> 03:43.580 oh, I want to be like, I was like, oh, I don't know, that's what you do, right? Get good grades. 03:43.760 --> 03:48.440 Why? Why was I so focused on getting an A in everything? I graduated with 4.0. Who gives a 03:48.440 --> 03:52.880 shit? Who really gives a shit, right? Like, who gives a shit? I wanted to lay out in the 03:52.880 --> 03:55.960 sun and look pretty is the bottom line. And that's the bottom line. That's, be honest, 03:56.120 --> 04:02.340 I wanted to rest. I wanted, I was, I'm a woman. I didn't feel that drive that was imposed 04:02.340 --> 04:07.300 on me. The should do, right? You should do this. And then go to grad school. I went to grad school 04:07.300 --> 04:11.500 because it was free, but then you got to get, get a good job. I remember I got the first job at an 04:11.500 --> 04:15.380 insurance company and there was this perception of how could you leave this job, including by my 04:15.380 --> 04:18.460 members of my family, men and women, how could you leave this job? And I was like, 04:18.500 --> 04:22.860 because I don't want to work this hard. I don't want to travel for work and I don't want to 04:22.860 --> 04:28.320 get up at, I don't want to do this. It felt wrong to me and yet this is what you're supposed 04:28.320 --> 04:31.960 to do. This is what everyone's supposed to do as if men and women are the same. 04:32.200 --> 04:37.760 We're not the same. We're not the same because guys wake up at 32 and they're, they don't have, 04:37.860 --> 04:41.640 they don't have eggs to worry about. Like, oh, I have less eggs and they don't have a biological 04:41.640 --> 04:46.360 clock in the same way that we do. Yes, male men encounter different problems with fertility 04:46.360 --> 04:51.260 as well as they age, right? It's optimal for men and women to have babies younger. It just is, 04:51.420 --> 04:56.360 but it's different. There is a window for women that makes way more sense biologically, 04:56.360 --> 05:01.580 objectively so, and we all adore it. And I just thought about all of these women following this 05:01.580 --> 05:06.560 path. And I'm like, does no one realize even, even in the conservative space, right? And I come from 05:06.560 --> 05:10.320 the conservative space, there's no attention. I mean, people will say men and women are 05:10.320 --> 05:14.960 different, but they will not actually act on what that means because all the women are 05:14.960 --> 05:19.120 boss babes, right? They're all hosting their own shows, president of the company. 05:19.560 --> 05:24.480 The masculine energy is like oozing out of them. They're not taking care of their own 05:24.480 --> 05:28.400 kids at home. They've got the nanny. There's no time. They're not, you know, they'd be highly 05:28.400 --> 05:32.040 insulted if you suggested they would, you know, benefit from making some sourdough bread instead 05:32.040 --> 05:37.580 of being on air from 9 to 11 a.m. and twisted about live news and stomach and nuts and drinking 05:37.580 --> 05:42.760 a boatload of coffee and all Papa's annex later when I go home. So it's not just 05:42.760 --> 05:48.580 liberal concern. This is everywhere. And I would invite people, dads, I'm talking to you, 05:48.620 --> 05:52.080 because you have a big impact. Moms too, when you have your children, 05:52.080 --> 05:55.660 think about when you have a little boy, you have a little girl, they're different 05:55.660 --> 06:01.220 from the beginning, and they're different as they grow. And maybe the advice that's given 06:01.220 --> 06:06.020 should be different. Why is everyone told to follow a path that builds up masculine energy? 06:06.240 --> 06:09.900 Does that make sense to really sit and think about it? Men and women aren't the same. 06:10.180 --> 06:15.180 They're not the same. The path shouldn't be the same. And what they flourish in will 06:15.180 --> 06:19.480 absolutely be different, which is why you have men that thrive on stress. 06:19.480 --> 06:25.700 Many of them do. Most of them do. And that corporate ladder, it's like an adrenaline boost, 06:25.860 --> 06:30.220 and you have women drinking wine and popping Xanax all night long in the same circumstances 06:30.220 --> 06:34.880 because they're not wired for it. Instead, that doesn't make you worse than a man. 06:35.100 --> 06:40.080 It doesn't make you lesser. It makes you a woman. Try to be a man and burying yourself 06:40.080 --> 06:44.540 in the process just to know. Because I made the mistakes too, man. I wish I could go back 06:44.540 --> 06:50.960 and just be true to what I felt on the inside. Get that sunshine and sleep and rest and look pretty, 06:51.080 --> 06:55.120 honey, if that's what you want to do. I'm telling you, man. All right, I love you all.